my jumbled thoughts on star trek : into the darkness.

now that i'm looking at the picture to the right below, i realize it looks like i've gained three hundred pounds. i promise you, i haven't. at least i don't think so? or maybe i have and it's been such a slooooow (and delicious...bless you, chocolate covered almonds) process that i haven't really noticed at all. this sort of thing would definitely happen to me. sometimes when i'm driving i'll be listening to the radio for a good thirty minutes before realizing, "what the heck! this is in spanish! i haven't understood one. single. word!" 

on tuesday night we saw star trek : into the darkness. i didn't know much about the film besides the fact that the subtitle kind of sounded like it could be the title to a really dirty movie starring corbin bleu and vanessa hudgens. what? you haven't thought about that? (kidding! kidding! three more times, kidding!) and, of course, the sign for 'live long and prosper.'

anyways, we sat down and i immediately whipped out my phone to check all my social mediums that keep me connected...to mommy bloggers i don't actually know in real life. important stuff! a big man behind me...sitting a l o n e, mind you...told me to turn off my phone and could i please stop talking?

dude. it's the previews!

cue dramatic eye roll. cue audible sigh of disgust. cue slamming my phone into my bag and shoving it under my seat. man, oh man. i was in for it.

but! the movie started! and i paid attention! so here's my review:

review of star trek: into the darkness from an impartial third party who was just along for the ride (and tub of popcorn!) : 

this movie made a trekkie out of me. actually, no it didn't. not even close. but i did go home and take a self-indulgent picture in the mirror for good measure. you know. like one does.

onwards! it was fairly funny and i had a few moments where i was gasping because i was just. so. into . it. buuuuuuuuuut for the most part every scene was three minutes too long. (except for the scene where there were those sexy cat-like women -- what were those things?) especially the fighting scenes. holy goodness, did they drag those on.

with every scene being three minutes too long, it made the movie last forty five minutes longer than necessary. no seriously, it did. like, why is everyone coming back to life?! just die! go home, khan. are you good or are you bad or are you tuck everlasting? and why don't we have more scenes with that man-candy of a pilot?! they really should have explored their options with into the darkness, you know?

but the popcorn was especially buttery and my diet coke had the perfect fizz : flavor ratio so...five stars!