1

things that are bueno bueno.

Sunday, December 29, 2013

- - - - - - - - -

but!
first! 

am i a jack wagon or is there something so charming about palm trees? i look like such a tourist pushing my way around people to get a good picture of 'em, but, i don't know, they remind me of a lanky friend who needs a comb. endearing, no?
succulents! remember when these were the new cupcake? i don't mind. i love a good succulent. i have some plastic ones from ikea that i keep on my desk and oh, the joy they bring me! the swedes do some good things, plastic succulents included. 

let. it. be. noted. (for time +, most especially, for posterity) this face just happens! i think jeff suffers from r.b.f. (resting witch-with-a-b face)(in my dreams, i'm ballsy enough to curse on my blog. also in my dreams i am always braless + have much better legs, so. you know.) because whose face just does this?!

things that are bueno bueno :
...or 'good.' that works too. 

+ 'saving mr. banks' : tom hanks holds a special place in my heart, a place that will always love every movie he is ever in + will forever and always think of him as the sweetest man in hollywood (and look, hollywood agrees!). that said, i loved it (of course, tom hanks!) + am committing to watching marry poppins the second i get my hands on a copy. also the music! sa-woon! 
let. it. be. noted. : brooke in real life rolls her eyes when people say things like sa-woon, 
but, but brooke on the blog, this brooke, says it all the time. so there's that. 

+ banzai bowls : i left completely satisfied + mostly guilt-free (...and also feeling like, hey! i could have made that in my vitamix at home!). even jeff stapleton approved it + that is a feat (jeff stapleton doesn't especially like ice cream, frozen yogurt, smoothies, milkshakes, or fun.)

+ 70 degree weather : is it totally un-american of me to say that a white christmas might be a touch overrated? (my idaho roots are wanting to jump right out of my body + slap me) we celebrated with weather in the seventies, sandals, + a game of volleyball (they played, i watched). yesterday while we were out, there were so many people in the shortest of shorts + they were comfortable. endless summer!

+ the burger king near jeff's house : they have flavored drinks and fresh lemons. sold. 

+ my new booties : the stapleton's done did it. i feel like my feet belong in a jungle safari + i ain't above that. 

+ forgetting what the sound of my alarm even sounds like : i love being busy + genuinely enjoy writing to-do lists put, pffffft. sleeping in + having zero obligations has been wonderful. i set my alarm (...for 10 a.m. ...) today + i was near startled by the sound of it. what is that thing? oh, christmas break. don't end. 


1

merry christmas!

Wednesday, December 25, 2013

hey peeps,
merry christmas!


may your days be filled with happiness!

we had a great day over here. well, the parts i was alive for. i was hit hard with the stomach flu + have been spending most of the past two days holed up in my room with friends and gatorade...and self-tanner. lots of self-tanner. oddly, i ain't complaining! the missionaries came over for dinner + i managed to carry a bizarrely awkward conversation for five minutes. we all wanted it to end. if that ain't christmas, i don't know what is! ;)

merry, merry, merry!

1

a monday in california for brooke.

Monday, December 23, 2013


- - - - -


i always found myself rolling my eyes at the california kids at byu (lovingly! some of my nearest + dearest reign from california). the way that they would complain that they didn't have proper winter clothes "because they never experienced real winter before" + the way they'd gush about the weather + the ocean + the way that they were always tan and had good skin and how are you wearing vans and that skirt so effortlessly? 

now, i'm not backing down from my idaho is queen argument but the more i come here, the more i get it. i do. i wore jeans today just because i could, not because i had to. my upper ankle saw the sun, people (a note about my upper ankle : on the right side, they are hairy. i wear nine anklets on my right ankle + shaving around them is a pain so...hairy ankles it is!). there were people mowing their lawns happily + merrily + the neighbor kid was even cleaning his boat...because, assumedly, he had just been boating. what is this madness? who are these people? why are my ankles so white?! blasted.



onwards! 
to a stream-of-conscience list of events that have transpired this week and a picture of my face + my new water bottle just because it's almost christmas (and let's weigh in, folks. are my brows too thick? i'm aiming for camilla belle, not joe jonas over here!)(...on second thought, don't weigh in. i once made cookies that sucked + jokingly asked my church class to guess what went wrong + this girl starts liiiiiisting off all these things as i stood there + shot her death glares through courtesy laughs) :

:: i've watched three seasons of friends in two weeks + i keep playing that annoying game which friends character are you? with people + then i stop after they answer for me. it's purely selfish but i really want to know. so far i've got joey, a hint of phoebe, rachel, and, according to jeff, 'opposite-monica' because i'm so messy. oh, thanks! i'm satisfied but can't we all agree i'm a chandler because i. love. him. 

:: when i'm old + a mama goose, i am putting a big stamp sign on christmas presents. dude! there is absolutely nothing worse, i don't wish it upon any one. sure, i love and love and love again the thrill of giving + watching people's faces light up but when the only direction you have is 'brooklyn 99-esque' and 'something comfy' it is kind of the worst. also why are h&m's lines always so bloody long? oranges, for all! oranges all over! 

:: everyone in this house has had a nasty flu virus. jeff's brothers found a 'flu fighter' online that consists of apple cider vinegar + ...apple cider vinegar. i mix it with a little orange juice + call it my 'anti-flu cocktail' + mildly crave it. 

:: trader joe employees are awfully happy. all the time. i like that.

:: long ago, i decided that me + jimmy fallon would probably be friends in real life. i just think we would! truly and honestly, i fear ever meeting him. what if he doesn't like me like i think he will? what if we don't hit it off talking about his sweet daughter + our mutual love for justin timberlake (p.s. did anyone see jt's impersonation of fallon on snl this past week? on. point.) what if everything isn't 'sooooo cool' + 'sooooo great' between us? eeeeep.

:: is it a zuchinni or is it a squash or why, why, why

:: i largely overestimated how i look in a white tee-shirt when i was packing for this trip. yelk.


:: at what age do i have to start baking holiday treats for my neighbors? eighty seven? 

oh, and the picture of my face!
i'm feeling joe jonas. 

2

a little of what i've been up to...and i happy sunday, because, duh.

Sunday, December 22, 2013


- - - - -
sorry for the absence, 
but i'm excited to announce something exciting...

baby stapleton coming june 2017! ha. gotcha. i'm only kidding people. last time i did a pregnancy hoax, i had a bearded friend of my jeffrey touching my stomach ten months later. nope sir, that is just a steady diet of tortilla chips + peanut butter you are feeling...

but i have been up to...things! like turning twenty one, for instance. my twenty first was what dreams were made of, people! i had dinner with my friends + a rumbi bowl with my jeffrey (and his brother in tow, hi shane!) + wandered target with a large soda in my hand for no good reason at all. dreams! also jeff woke me up with ninety eight balloons piled on top of me. have i ever told you balloons give me the heebies? just one of the many things me and oprah have in common...


i also got a new job. you might be wondering if i get a new job every two weeks to which i answer yes, my resume is actually a fold out pamphlet at this point but like, isn't that what part time jobs are all about?! any hoots, i'm a substitute. and i'm the 95% certain i am worst. i just sit there + try to get the kids to gossip with me because why was karen crying in first period, anyways?! 
anyways, a story : i subbed a first grade class this wednesday before i left (oh, hi from california where it is currently sixty something degrees + people are wearing ugg boots? why?) and the teacher decided to make a 'naughty + nice' list. the kids on the nice list were able to go to the class christmas party but the kids on the naughty list had to go to the library + feel their anxiety bubble up and explode inside of them. people! these are six year olds! mothers were lined up at the door explaining how their child had cried themselves to sleep the night before + children were bawling their eyes out...oi vey. it was a treat! also hat tip to the teacher for leaving that drama bomb + taking cover for the explosion. ha.

in other words, dear utah : i am adding oodles to your school system. ;)
(i am not actually the worst. in fact,  a 16 year old told me i was the best sub she ever had after i told her i shopped at forever twenty one. it's a small feat?)



onwards! my sister came to visit. when she comes, it's slightly magical. it might be because the whole week is caffeine shakes + sugar highs coupled with little sleep + punchy music. anyways, we had fun. she brings out a side of me that i usually leave tucked away (...this ain't about to be a ciara-like confession, here) + i find myself caring about the kardashians + high school drama a whole lot more + wearing obscene hats that say 'thug wife' on them. it's fun.
also, related : the amount of camo in my wardrobe increased substantially after her visit? hrmph?


like i said before, now i'm in california. we finished all of our christmas shopping yesterday remarkably. i say remarkably because the lines were crazy + we had panda express for lunch. i actually felt my brain throbbing at one point. what do they put in that stuff?! we are hoping to enjoy all that california has to offer for the next week + a half...and mostly just marvel over having a fully stocked pantry because, duh.


happy sunday, people!


3

hilary duff + twenty years of life... or where i try to make something of my last year. go with it.

Thursday, December 5, 2013


- - - - - -

i'm nearly twenty one, you know? this upcoming monday! get your party pants on + your streamers ready + don't give me too much attention because i thrive on that stuff + before you know it i'll be twirling around singing a nearly unrecognizable version of santa baby + staring at you, begging for your approval + reminding you that you created this monster, now give me a hearty courtesy laugh!

i'm just joking, sort of?


my morgan friend + i were talking about life today. real deep, no? well, we were talking about life in between long, heated manifestos about how hilary duff truly followed the straight + narrow and about our love for deep, gothic flowers. whatever those are. any hoots, were were talking about how fast life can move! it feels like a year is such a long time + then, poof! you are left scratching your head and thinking, was dying my hair darker really the most noteworthy thing i did this year? 
answer : sort of.

my twentieth year was one where i just left things gel. i'm a wife +, while there are some definite logistics + parameters, it means whatever i want it to mean, you know? like this whole marriage thing has me saying 'who gun stop me now?' fifty five times more than a normal adult woman should. i'm an awful full-time employee...and student and that is okay, i can make ends meet many other ways. i love to cook but would much rather get eye rolls for brining in store-bought cookies than have to whip it up myself. i need my girl time and i need my alone time. weekly.  and that's so okay. i'm sort of more introverted than i expected? i'm not always happy + funny. oh, + i'm not an ombre type of girl. i just ain't.
i learned to not care so much what people think. i never thought i did, but also i kind of do? i feel like each year i'm giving less damns about the approval of other people which is awesome yet really scary for my future? i predict a lot of muumuus + not a lot of bras. mmmm.

i like this twenty-year-old brooke, despite the thousand things she started + quit + started again + quit for good this year. ha! but hi! twenty-one! new license + a new start! (group poll : i don't have to add those 'x' amount of pounds i gained since my last license, right? right.) also i'm talking in third person? this should stop?

the point of this all is...welp, back to hilary duff? she's my safe place.



2

a bit late, but still thankful.

Tuesday, December 3, 2013



i'm sitting here braless typing this. unemployed...and totally, totally braless. perhaps it's the freedom my two best girlfriends are experiencing or perhaps it's the intoxicating scent of the bath + body works fresh balsam candle that i got free by pressuring my mom into a 'v.i.p. bag' on black friday, but i feel overwhelmingly grateful for my life.

as i ranted and spilled about previously, october was the pits. i felt sluggish + sad + was averaging about 135 oz. of diet dr. pepper a day. my days consisted of caffeine shakes + cleaning out dressing rooms...a miserable combination. ha. but november! november was my may. i felt like the rain stopped and fa la laaaaa! all was right again.
all the things in my life that were right seemed to show off in november. it was as if they were all wearing big sparkly, red dresses and parading through my life. does this make sense?! ('my life' tally = 4,329) it makes sense.

for example! i am so, so grateful for my jeffrey. i never in my life felt like i was incomplete. as i've said a million times over, brooke likes brooke. i just do! i like my own company + really didn't see any room for anyone else. but hi! in comes jeffrey! he is the most supportive person + keeps life fun. i feel feel whole. is that so lame? that's so lame. but it's so, so true.

and i'm so, so grateful for my family (and i'm talking about aaaaaaall of them ... brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, in-laws, etc. ). i scored. i feel like i have the best pit crew (and this is where i apologize to my family for calling them 'the pit crew' and//or making any nascar reference in the same sentence as them). they are always there to dust me off + get me going. every time i see them i feel reenergized + ready to ...drive around the track 500 times (i committed to a nascar reference and now i am riding it out!).

i'm grateful for my 'job.' i feel so lame for calling it a 'job.' i'm i destined to be a lowly MWAC (mother with a camera)? please no. but yes! i am so, so grateful for being able to do what i love every week + for getting paid for it. like, what is this?!

i'm also grateful for food. and for my apartment. and for provo-town! it gets such a bad wrap but i will never be able to happily leave my sodalicious + subzero behind. i'm grateful for crossfit + for yoga + for my body. i'm grateful for my faith and how it grounds me because heaven knows i can get carried away.

oh! and i'm grateful for my friends. all of 'em. whether i see them every day or every other year, they all rock. i truly (getting corny here) cherish the friendships i have made over the years + love that they are so low maintenance yet so meaningful (shuddering -- 'cherish' and 'meaningful' in the same sentence?! let's blame the scented candles surrounding me). and, while i'm here, i'm grateful for spell check because apparently i have no idea how to spell 'maintenance?'

i'm grateful for school. ha. just kidding.

november, november, i love you.





2

brooke, here! : a lone-cation.

Friday, November 15, 2013

- - - - - - - 

(these were my parting gift from my own job. tell my they remind you of kylie jenner because that would make all my wildest dreams come true! tell me!)

i debated starting this post all cute-like by saying:
brooke, here!
but it's my blog. so duh. brooke is here.

onwards!


i'm currently sitting in my hotel room in *i'm being vague here, father dear. you will not have to use your 'special set of skills' or get all liam neeson on us...* california with friends playing in the background. i'm braless + slobbery from all of the diet dr. pepper i've consumed today because hi, a circle k is right around the corner...err, i mean...very far away? *being vague here!* i've taken like, sixty five baths already + have spread the contents of my suitcase neatly across the whole room. also i've spent around five hours staring at myself in the mirror + plucking my eyebrows.
i feel like the queen of the world!
i call this : my lone-cation.
...i seriously wish i could think of a better name...
all-by-my-selfiesta?
yep, lone-cation it is.

i am here for a wedding tomorrow, yes, but i have a hotel room all to myself. and no plans (other than the wedding, le doi). it's a magical, magical time where i am discovering how disgusting i can be when left to my own devices. (...i am currently typing around a sticky spot from the cookie dough ice cream bar i just devoured).

also, speaking of weddings : this summer i stayed in the same hotel room as the bride's parents. ha! we each had our own twin bed + tried our hardest not to roll over + make eye contact during the night. ha.

and speaking of kylie jenner, on my third trip to the grocery store today it said that kimmy k. was post-poning the wedding due to kanye's botched proposal (marry me pleeeeeeease?!!!). and what the heck is going on with khloe + lamar?! i need answers! and a wet-wipe. this ice cream sandwich sticky spot is really making it difficult to type the letters xcv and b. oof.

happy friday, my people!

0

november the fourteenth : a day not wasted.

Thursday, November 14, 2013


- - - - - - - -
yesterday was my last day at my job. yes, the job i just started. yes, the job i was super excited about. retail is a soul-sucker, dudes. a part of my heart died every time i had to clear out a dressing room or pull a double zero pant for a tween who liked to loudly announce to her curvier friends that she was a double zero. ugh. such a hard life. i decided to have a little hallelujah celebration//day-cation all by my lonesome + turn off my alarm + neglect all phone calls + wear the exact same outfit i've worn the past three days because why not?! ugh. such a hard life.

also. let it be known : i darkened my hair yesterday. also known as dying it jet black for the time being. it's a tid bit darker than i was expecting + i am having a bit of an identity crisis. i feel a bit...goth? armenian? teen angsty? i've decided to give myself a week to figure out who brooke with the black hair really is (thus far, she really likes avocados) you know, as you do.

the real question remains : what exactly did i do on this day-cation?
hrmph.

took some selfies?
went to swig + sodalicious in provo + wrote a public service
announcement because, obviously, i take myself quite seriously.
wandered target. bought nothing.
got asked if i went to hair school.
pretended to go on a run?
ate an avocado.

the *almost* end.



also who are you people who look pretty posing with inanimate objects?!?! bolded. capitalized. exclamation point, question mark, exclamation point.
like, give me a baby or my jeffrey or something cause what the bologna sandwich am i doing with my face + hands?!


2

a funk.

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

(let it be noted :
1. this is a ramble, prepare.
2. the fact that i look all down + depressed in this picture is not intentional. ha! irony at it's finest!
3. try as you might, you will not keep me out of the boys' section at target. yes, target lady, i am aware that the women's section is thaaaaaaat way + that i have hips. and boobs.)
4. awkward wrist! i see it too! was i reaching for my pocket? my belt? belt...loops? cringe.


- - - - - - -

i would gladly get rid of my october. eleven months in 2013? i'll take it! i was in a funk this october. an unexplainable + seemingly unshakable funk. i felt as if my october was so blaaaaaaand. like, pass the salt october!

the funkiest part of my funk came when i was driving home from work late + i rear-ended the car in front of me. well, love-tapped it (i'm holdin' to that!). oh, the horror! i felt like everything i was holding up + all my effort to just be happy + just keep going came crashing down on me. i sobbed! sobbed, i tell you! fun fact about brooke : i rarely cry. seriously! rarely! partially because there isn't much that makes me sad but mostly because crying is a whole lot of effort, y'know? (except for in movie theaters. i am a big movie theater crier) but when i do, oh lanta. is it a sight! my mother once told me that she hates watching me cry because, obviously, it is depressing but also because she thinks i am going to die. literally, die. i start hyperventilating + my face goes numb aaaaand cue the panic attack. it's bizarre.

anyways!
i'm driving home + i love tap the car in front of me. i am already so, so tired from work + so, so hungry. i'm holding it together + then the policeman asks me where i am from + poof, tears! i can't breath! help! me! he leaves me panting in my car + i stuff some sour watermelon candy in my mouth. so now i can't breathe + i have the ugliest pucker + the people in the car who i hit are staring at me like a crazy person. heaven help me. ha! it was a sight!

but! this was a turning point? i think?
i almost felt like i finally came to terms with the fact that i had been down all month. "my name is brooke + i have been in a funk all october. hear me roar." 
i'm slowly learning that it is okay to not have everything together all the time + to not alllllllways be happy + not alllllllways be funny. it's okay to not know all the answers all at once + to be a bit vulnerable at times. and it's also okay to take a breather from life + blogging + to know the workers at sodalicious by name. it's all okay + it's all going to be okay.

i feel like i owe it to my posterity + to 2013 to find some good lessons out of october. here's what i've learned (besides the aforementioned 'it's all going to be okay, yadda yadda') :

what october taught me : 
:: robbing this quote + subbing in 'happiness' from good ol' dieter f. : "[happiness...light?] rarely comes to those who merrily sit in the darkness waiting for someone to flick the switch." okay, i kind of
:: my mama + my jeffrey + the big man upstairs are good friends who always want to help + to listen.
botched the quote by subbing in happiness, but you get what i am saying!
:: i don't do well with routine.
:: people want to help if you let them.
:: it's okay to not feel okay.


aren't we proud of me? talking about emotions + the warm and fuzzies? my mom challenged me to be more real with people. not, like, annoyingly ranty + depressing facebook status type-real but not pretending that everything is awesome alllllllll the time type-real. because some octobers just suck + just because they suck, doesn't mean you shouldn't talk about them. or something.

also, for the record, i am liking my november. november can stay.
also also, for the record, if anyone brings up this post to me + tries to give me hug of sorts, i will act like you are crazy + tell you that everything is just...awesome. baby steps ;). (kidding, kidding)





2

conference-ing + weekend-ing.

Tuesday, October 8, 2013


this past weekend my nikki-friend came down from southern idaho for some girl time + some general conference. to clarify, general conference is a weekend where leaders of my church give counsel that uplifts + inspires us to be better. lots of silver foxes. lots of note taking. lots of cinnamon rolls. it's a ball! onwards! having my nikki-friend in town was nice; it helped me to appreciate utah county + all of its chain restaurants (cheesecake factory! cheesecake fact-or-eeee!). also! she brought a boy + jeff and i guessed the status of their relationship the entire weekend. hehe. also! i forgot how awkward the word 'relationship' is for those who are just friends? having a thing? oops.

(ten points to whoever can land he-who-shall-not-be-named on the right!'s doppelganger.  are you feeling ryan reynolds? the brother from hannah montana? the animated character norman from paranorman? close, but not quite?)(also do we like my green hunter boots? stress zits happened over those things! green? black? are these the next ugg boot? stress! zits!)

i worked all day saturday (let me expound : all. day. i arrived at work at 7:45 in the morning + left the mall at 11 that night. eleven!) and missed the morning + afternoon session but! i am catching up. slowly. here's some of my favorite highlights from saturday: 

"doubt your doubts before you doubt your faith." // "the acorn of honest inquiry has often sprouted + matured into a great oak of understanding." - dieter f. uchtdorf (...who i always picture on a bike? his last talk created that visual): 
it's hard for me to remember that in life there are definite ups + definite downs + that the same holds true with my testimony. this talk was a big ol' slap in the face that hi! doubts are normal +, when addressed correctly, can help you to be thirty five thousand times stronger. seriously, that's a quote. (...that's not a quote)

"don't assume you can fix everything. but fix what you can." // "if the bitter cup does not pass, drink it + be strong. trusting in happier days ahead." -- jeffrey r. holland (who i saw buying shoes while working at nordstrom. i just stared at him, petrified. let it be noted i was wearing five inch platforms + a vest made up fur. yikes.)

(we had tickets for the sunday morning session...and forgot them on top of our refrigerator. it's fine. we stood outside and i, let me just toot my own horn here, single-handedly scalped four tickets through the use of wit + flipping my wedding ring around. just kidding about that last part.)

"what is my ultimate priority?" -- elder oakes: 
my heart was sinking as i listened to this talk. i spread myself thin + don't like a lot of free time in my day. i mean, i do. but i don't. i realize that the first couple things that seem to be cut from my schedule are the things that truly matter the most. maybe i should allot a little less time to pinterest-ing and candy crush? maybe? ;)

"good timber does not grow with ease. the stronger the timber, the stronger the trees." // "may be become spiritually refined as we go through sunshine + sorrows." // "shall i falter or shall i finish?" 
holy. thomas s. monson was killing it per usual + had me tearing up within the first couple minutes. sigh.

"repentance is not a punishment. it is the hope filled path to a more glorious future.'' -- richard g. scott

- - - - - - - - -

and voila! there you have it. 
inspired, uplifted, cinnamon rolls.



0

"what have you been up to, brooke?"

Sunday, October 6, 2013


let it be noted : my computer is slowly dying. the disc drive is constantly jammed + it constantly overheats + my spacebar is testy. so! if my sentences all starttolooklikethis...you'll know why. darn you, steve jobs! (on another note, jeff + i saw his movie on monday at the dollar movie. one enthusiastic thumb up!)


- - - - - -

it's october. when exactly did this happen? like, i fully understand that it happened the day after september 30th but reaaaaaally?! i was just getting over summer + now i am all consumed in pumpkin spice everything and sweating from every pore in my body because utah can't decide what the weather is (mid-40's in the morning + 80 degrees in the afternoon? what do i even wear anymore?!).


now, for some catch-up:



:: i'm employed! i decided to get a job on a whim + am now working as a b.p. sale's associate at nordstrom aaaaaand blowing every paycheck on the new inventory because oops. i like it! i feel like passionately talking about leggings + the sweater of the month is kind of what i was made for. kind of.

:: i shot a wedding in northern california a week ago. i stayed with the bride's parents who were straight out of georgia. after only two hours of talking with them, i started talking with a heavy southern drawl + calling people yankees. woops.

:: 'fixed on drama' by m.a.c. dudes! get it! it makes you feel so dark + romantic + dreamy.

:: when did i become one of those people who coos over pretty sunrises?! i lived on a street called 'sunrise drive' for pete's sake! but lately utah has been delivering. also it's been like, a month since i started yoga + i've only audibly tooted once. in a silent class. full of people i didn't know. oh! the tragedy! we were moving from 'shoulder stand' to 'fish pose' + poof! out it came! namaste, yogis. namaste.

:: sexy gym date with my morgan boo. side note : this is a rare september moment where her + jeff weren't glued to the television watching breaking bad or texting feverishly about it. did you all watch the season finale?! jesse! be free!

...and that's about it. october! october! october!
(i drew a blank on how to gracefully end this. chanting the month of october just felt right.)


5

unsolicited marriage advice : find your happy, girl!

Thursday, September 19, 2013


- - - - - - - - -

you guys, i've been married a year now and am almost able to purchase alcohol // adopt a child // be elected as mayor (or all three! at the same time!)... most obviously this warrants me to pretend that i am fully of sage-y, marital wisdom. i've decided to start sharing my *completely unsolicited* marital advice. take it for what you will! some of it comes from my own personal experiences, some comes from my family // friends, and some comes from romantic comedies and real housewives of orange county

let's all get our eye rolls out now+ vote brooke stapleton for mayor in two thousand fifteen!


husbands are great for many things like killing spiders (...this is a lie. i am chief spider killer in this house!), telling you that no, the color yellow doesn't make you look like you have jaundice but does make you look like a giant parakeet, and encouraging ranty yelp posts. but here's a secret : they are not magic. i mean...sure. they can bring the magic now and then (heh, heh! get it?), but they themselves are not magic. fwhaaaa?!

let me explain : in my marriage + family class (what? it's interesting + i needed s'more credits. put down your judgy eyebrows!), we talked about how many people, especially young people, find themselves disappointed by marriage. though their spouse//partner may be a loyal + loving person, they find it all a little bit ... magic-less.

our teacher talked about how many people get married honestly + truly believing that their spouse is some sort of magician that will get rid of all of their problems once they get married. after they say i do, they will find themselves with all the drive in the world to mend their relationship with their sister. or after they say i do, they will magically grow strong testimony of the church of flying waffles + canadian bacon. or, most especially, once they say i do, all their personal problems + insecurities will disappear.

truth : jeff makes me feel like ten million dollars. truly! he is so complimentary of me + is as supportive as an entire cheer squad through all my fleeting interests + endeavors. he has helped me to like the things that i didn't love about myself before (wide hips are great for birthing! thick thighs can earn me a speed skating scholarship...maybe! scraggly hair is...i have a great personality?) + makes me feel appreciated five million times over.

*but*
i still have my issues! i still get mega-depressed after i eat big meals + still whip out ten million self-bashing if i catch a look at my reflection on a monday in an old navy dressing room mirror (mondays and i just don't love each other + old navy's lighting makes me look tired ). i am still wildly inpatient + still have no compassion for people who whine about referees. these things haven't gone away. if you aren't happy with yourself before you get married, you probably won't be happy later. eh? eh?

so, my unsolicited advice : love yourself first. get to know yourself! i've done very few things right in my life, but one thing i can mildly brag about is that i feel like i knew myself before jeff + genuinely liked myself before jeff. i loved my own company. like, a sickening amount. adding him to the mix just made it a giant love-fest of narcissism and selfies. a truly beautiful union. i know who i am as a person + know who i am as a wife. i don't feel like i've lost any bit of my identity, rather just added to it! a husband//boyfriend//partner//corgi won't make you happy, just happier. you have to find your happy first.
and i realize that last paragraph was one long, high-pitched toot of my own horn. deafening, really.
find your happy, girl!


now tell me how much you disagree in the comments. or don't. please don't. 
and i promise i only take myself mildly seriously. so laugh condescendingly if you must. 


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2

an uneventful saturday pretending to be eventful through bullet points.

Sunday, September 15, 2013

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days that start with cancelled plans are sort of glamorous. we had our alarms set + car filled with gas for an adventure to logan to hang with jennie + company, but the weather had an agenda + foiled any dream involving a sunny day spent outside up north. by nine thirty, we were scratching our heads + asking what the heck should we do with our day?!

it was mostly uneventful. i took two naps + spent most of the day in leggings. but this is a blog about spontaneity + pizzazz + look how fun we are. i want our kids digging through the archives of this space on the internet + seeing that their now-balding parents never wasted a saturday. never! so, by the use of bullet points, here is our mostly uneventful saturday pretending to be eventful through the crafty use of bullet points. ha!

the camera loves me!

yesterday : 
  • went to the morning yoga class. flung myself against a wall attempting to do a headstand. stifled my giggles for the rest of class.
  • arrived at costco before the samples were set up. walked the frozen aisles with my stomach grumbling. also, let it be noted, jeff wrapped up half of his chicken bake because my at-home cooking is that impressive. 
  • sat in melissa's kitchen + spewed out unsolicited marriage advice. as one does. 
  • broke my sugar fast with my morgan-friend + ate some apple pie + ice cream. instant headache! instant sugar anger! it was all very monumental.
  • scouted out locations for that photo side of my life. mostly just drove aimlessly around spanish fork looking for a suitable bathroom. 
  • sat on morgan's couch with her + jen and talked about jen's newly married life + morgan's date this tuesday that i am so excited about that i am posting it on social media. ha! 
  • went to a pie-a-betes party for my token diabetic friend, callie (click that link! read her blog! it's so funny!). games included 'diabetic celebrities', 'sculpt callie's favorite things', and 'diabetic fact or crap.' remarkably, i didn't eat the pie there. also, i almost kicked jeff off of our team for pictionary because he chose to draw his picture in neon yellow so no one could see it. what?! what?!
  • applied to be a cashier at winco + told jeff to double-cross his fingers + pray that i get the job. 
  • ...started worrying about the future of my life if i am asking someone to pray that i get a job as a cashier at a grocery store (...but ever since win a date with tad hamilton, i've kind of fantasized of scanning people's bulk cereal + milk. cross your fingers for me!!).
  • took full advantage of our free month subscription to amazon prime + watched all season two of workaholics. not that i condone that show. ;)



aren't we fun?! we are fun. 
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5

that one time i wanted to know what i looked like while having an animated conversation.

Friday, September 13, 2013


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as a child, one of my favorite toys was a voice recorder. my parents were unconventional, i suppose. no barbie jeeps or teddy bears over here, just rejected office supplies ( but also i thought i was a dog with my derek-neighbor + i played with barbies until i was like...thirteen. that's besides the point.). i thought it was so jarring to hear the sound of my own voice + got an absolute kick out of replaying it over + over again + making myself sound like a chipmunk with the fast forward button. self entertainment at it's finest! ...also the start of my narcissism, but aren't all bloggers?

today i reached a new level of low. or narcissism. toe-may-toes, toe-mah-toes. but actually it's toe-may-toes.
i texted my mom in an attempt to walk down memory lane about my love affair with the voice recorder. i wanted to sort out the details + figure out how old i was + when my parents decided it had gone on too long and took it away from me + also could they mail it to me because i really wanted to hear the sound of my own voice today.

i know, i know. it's bizarre.

anyways, i spent a good fifteen minutes talking to myself today on my macbook. i couldn't stop! i wanted to see what it looked like when i was talking from the side + how my face looked when i was surprised + how loud i chewed cereal. the important things, you know.

i actually think i may be going insane. who's going to give me a diagnosis?
here's the last of the videos. it is sort of a conclusion to all my findings. it's also where i realize how insane i was being. all good things to share to the blogging world.

onwards. i call this brooke in real life or the tipping point of my sanity or how i like my face from afar or why did i keep touching my hair?! or, quite possibly, the diary of amanda bynes 2.0. enjoy with popcorn.


video

happy friday, folks! 

0

little thank you's.

Thursday, September 12, 2013

 something i've been working on as of three seconds ago is being more grateful for what i have right now. in class today, our teacher posed the question : what if i told you that you already had all the tools that you needed to be completely happy + joyful? how would that change things?

during the end of my high school experience, i was over it. i remember my weight training teacher (ha! ask me if i ever lifted a weight? no. i did, however, master the art of the four-legged race with my ryan-friend + became sort of, kind of better at ddr maxx) asking me what the best part about my year was going to be. looking back, was he trying to reach out to me? was i one of those visibly troubled youth? was i the jesse to his walter white?! i looked at him + said : leaving moscow ... indefinitely.

sassy. also! let it be noted! i was riding a stationary bike at the time + trying to see around his head to watch the ellen show. this is when she was on at eleven a.m., of course.

in my head, i wasn't going to be fully happy until i got out of northern idaho. which is one part teen angst but most parts totally silly. why wasn't i relishing in the fact that my mom did my laundry, made my dinners, + (don't judge me)  curled my hair?! why wasn't i squealing with delight when i checked my calendar + saw that, yep, i had no obligations. why wasn't i loving on my girlish figure that is long gone since meeting the byu cafeteria? why was i setting these parameters on my happiness level?! 

let's just blame it on being seventeen?

so, here's my concerted effort to be grateful for what's around me (...except for the ants that have been crawling around my desk + laptop as of late...why is this?!) right now. sure, i can look forward to what's to come (babies! a *hopefully* real income! an actual use for my birthing hips!) but...

where am i going with this? 

awww, yes. here are my little 'thank you's' for the week. because i'm working on being more grateful, ya know? 


:: thank you mother earth for this cool weather. once school starts, i want to shut the heat off. give me the cold. i don't need heat-sweats atop my stress-sweats.

:: a big, fat thank you to russ the yoga instructor tonight for quietly asking me + my lily-friend if we are ready to begin now? instead of slapping us upside the head for being loud + disruptive. also thank you for the class + for making my bum drip with sweat. that's never happened before. 

:: oh! sweet jeff! thank you for your unwavering patience + hard work. that boy was in the computer lab (neeeeerd) for hours working on a program that moved files? or something? you know, i really don't get this whole computer science jazz but i support it with mcdonald's salads + back scratches. also thank you for having the same humor as me and nearly losing your marbles over 30 rock right now. you're my person.

:: thank you a hundred + ten times over, employee at rumbi's, for quickly delivering my rice bowl to me. i was in a whole new state of hanger (side note : i was at best buy for nearly five hours today! five hours! on the bright side, i came out with a fancy new sprint sliding phone that can receive texts + calls and...slide! minimalism. i'm all about it.) + was actually near tears. 

:: thank you mommy dear, for being the one person i can brag to about anything + everything including keeping up on the dishes + other things of low importance. i love that mommy dear. 

:: thank you crazy lady at best buy for raising your voices at the employees + saying exactly what i wanted to say. also, thank you for allowing me to play the role of 'kind + patient customer who rolls her eyes at crazy ladies.' i liked that role. also sorry for the eye roll, i was in character...you get me. 

:: thank you amazon prime for having the real housewives of orange county : secrets revealed episode. i was dying. also for having tosh.0 season four for free. ...not that i like junky television, or anything?

:: thank you, giant zit under my nose, for grounding + humbling me. i was having three good hair days in a row. you know what good hair days do to my self esteem. i needed you.

:: thank you for this cute + cozy apartment that is slowly coming together (read : actually receives the aesthetic attention it deserves when my mother comes to visit -- she has a thing for hanging pictures + reorganizing?) + for our sweet neighbors right above us with the cutest kids who remind me that yes, kids are adorable but yes, they are loud + disrupt normal sleeping patterns. but the pitter patter of their foot steps make me saaaaah-woon! (am i a creepy neighbor? i'm a creepy neighbor.)

:: thank you local grocery store for your oversized ... and slightly overpriced ... pink lady apples. they are the size of my head which kind of makes my head feel petite for the first time in twenty years? double thank you.


thank you, thank you, thank you. 

1

who is john kerry, anyways? || confessions of a lowly journalism major.

Wednesday, September 11, 2013


( this is my sister paige. who, yes, is perfect. the reason for this picture? mostly i don't have any crummy iphone pictures to throw up here but also, go follow her on twitter. she's so funny. i feel like i need to share this with the world as one does in the wee hours of the morning... )

it's 1:39 a.m. and my alarm is set for 5:15 a.m.
maybe i should start hitting my palm to my face now? *face-palm*

but i can't sleep.
so here's a story:

i'm in the journalism program for reasons including : it's a fast major, i love to write, it involves no math, refer back to reason number one.
i mean, do i want to be a hard-hitting journalist for the wall street journal? meeeeeh. hard pass.
on the first day of class, we had to write our end-goals as a journalist. mine involved having my own little space of creativity + wit in a magazine about food or fitness or...cosmopolitan? i would happily give out unfounded relationship advice + list the top trends in hair + decide whether an outfit is sexy or skanky for the rest of my career as a journalist...and also maybe having my own talk show once i learn how to keep my facial expressions under control?

they are far-fetched and undoubtedly warranted a load of eye rolls from the communications department. but they are mine!

...also, related : we are required to read the new york times and are given a quiz about the top stories. oh, if you were to hear some of my answers. like,
why is dennis rodman in the news? ... he's wearing a wedding dress again?
answer : north korea...something or other.

who is john kerry + why is he relevant?
(this is embarrassing! it hurts!) ... he ran for president in 2004? and he is going to try again?
answer : he is the secretary of state. you nerd.

(... and my favorite answer that wasn't mine but was my sydney-friend's* ... )
who is nancy pelosi?
a very popular news anchor.
answer : the former speaker of the house.

bah!
i caved under pressure!
what happened to me?!

...in other news, a nyc gym shames miley cyrus + should i go more brunette?
awww, yes. this is home.



 *names have been changed because of privacy + such. or maybe they haven't? hrmph.


2

a few things i feel the need to tell you.

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

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i only have school on monday and wednesday. also i am unemployed (officially). that leaves a lot of time to think + ponder + peruse the aisles of tj maxx on my off days. mostly i catch up on editing photos + pluck my eyebrows (...does any one else have to pluck every day? what is this mess?! why am i so hairy!?), if you were wondering. today i mentally noted all of the things that i was going to tell my avery-friend who is on a lds mission in atlanta, georgia at present. i am kind of the worst at keeping in touch with her + more often than not i forget to put these mental letters into actual writing. oops. here's to avery!

(this is my niece kaliyani. the point of this photo is...there isn't one. but it's tuesday! and every one needs a little baby in their life. and also isn't she the cutest? her lips!)

  • last sunday i quit diet coke cold turkey. i know, i know. i'm so brave. mostly i just want to cry + curl into a little ball...but aren't i brave? we shall see how long this lasts...
  • tonight i namaste'd with my rachael-friend. peeps! yoga! i felt so relaxed the whole time. also i pounded a bunch of brussel sprouts before + had to exert half my effort  to stop from tooting. did i ever tell you about the one time i went to zumba + literally stunk up the back row? and the worst part : when the girl next to me rolled her eyes + scoffed at the heavier man next to me, i joined in! as if it was his fault! bless that pony-tailed wonder.
  • on a scale of one to ten, how serious do you take facebook invites? my morgan-friend invited me to her housewarming party on saturday + i completely missed it. but we were snap chatting the whole time?
  • lee daniels' the butler. (is that the full name? i'm assuming lee daniels is the director who does not want to go without credit?)(side note : if i directed a movie, you bet i would put my name in the title! i get you, lee daniels. i get you)(unless that movie was lady in the water...because that movie just sucked) you must see it! it was so moving. and oprah! hats off to you, lady! another bonus is realizing you are not the target audience while watching the previews. oops.
  • a boy in capri pants complimented my collection of ankle bracelets + began to tell me about how he too collected bracelets from all of his world travels; this one is from spain + this one is from new zealand and... i told him how i just got them from a store in moscow...idaho, that is...and how i have a patch of leg hair interwoven into them because it's impossible to shave underneath all that string. maybe i should start traveling?
  • i've been reading! i go through these phases where i am a reading machine + other times i don't ready anything. not even menus! was that funny? that wasn't funny. anyways, i am reading a million in a thousand years. it's so good. and that's all i have to say about it because i'm on like, page fifty.
  • i love fall. finally i can start making my body look like a box again! 
...maybe this one will make it to the mailbox? 

1

arm tickles.

Monday, September 9, 2013




i dole out my love fairly easily. i mean, i generally love people until they give me a good reason not to (like donning a foam finger to the vma's...and even then...) + will love any food you throw my way + ...actually, no. this is all foiled. i really don't like cats. onwards! i feel like i've been in love many times, but in many different ways + capacities. there was the, you play football + i need a date for homecoming! type of love that somehow lasted long past homecoming and the you're moving soon + i care about you enough to hang on till april for good face type of love and the you are really funny and have a moped! type of love that transitioned into you are a good friend type of love that quickly fizzled into you are the only person i know at this particular moment in life that watches workaholics + finds costco exciting type of love. 

it's all very romantic + rambly, no?

but i was never in-love until jeffrey stapleton.
oh, heavens. 

i remember the first time that i realized i was in love with him. we were watching we bought a zoo with all of his roommates in his tiny apartment + were squished together on a couch. he was wearing a dress shirt, tie, and jeans which i noted and found...interesting? what exactly was he doing? (he later admitted he was channeling joseph gordon-levitt in 500 days of summer and didn't quite achieve the look he was going for) it was endearing + weird all at the same time.

right in the middle of the movie, after matt damon turned distressed father turned zookeeper gave his son the speech about "20 seconds of insane courage", i lurched for his hand. oh the stomach flips! oh the excitement! he warmly greeted my hand with his hand + proceeded to tickle my arm. tickle my arm! my arm had never been tickled before! praise the land + the sea + this joseph gordon-levitt, arm tickling man next to me. i was in love. i had to be.

it was early on in our whirlwind relationship, but i felt so loved + cared after + why was he wearing a tie again? it was romantic in a sort of jeffrey stapleton type of way. 

and for the record, in the movie of my life at this very scene i request miss independent by kelly clarkson to be playing in the background. it's all so fitting. 

the end. 


5

seaYEAH!ttle.

Sunday, September 8, 2013

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going way back in time...

when our josh and rachel friends threw around the idea of seattle? in august? we jumped and clung on to it like a cat? do cats jump and cling on to things? we invited ourselves + plopped down our money for a hotel + you can't get out of this nooooow! 

and nearly a whole month later, i am still so glad that we clung on to that idea. it was so much fun! and also, that hotel was probably non-refundable? and can anyone think of a better metaphor for our unrelenting ways?

now here's seattle in pictures. lots of 'em!


// on the left, we have our fearless tour guide josh. we love our josh! he put up with my high maintenance travel requests like 'moderately healthy dinners' + a treat to follow (it's all about counterbalance, people) + a required nap time. because traveling is tiring. 

// wrong crowd? 

// sad panda man. kind of breaks your heart, no? 


// oooooh! the colors of the market...and that's all my commentary. but also, there were these really delicious mini donuts that jeff devoured both mornings that we were in the whereabouts of pike's place. they were overpriced. but jeff who is normally temperate in all that he does requested them twice for breakfast! that is something, no?!

// dudes, baseball is a long game. but ball-park food, despite its large price tag, ain't too shabby. also, yes. i am the child that whines for a mariners' shirt. mostly rachel (josh's wife + one of my favorite people. ever. every one need's a rachel) + walked laps around the stadium and stuffed our faces. ...go mariners?!



// kerry park! what a view. or something.

(by this time, i am sure most of you have given up on this post and scrolling so...phone picture time!)

// we met up with my jack + caitlyn friend from high school. they took us to dinner at bizzarro's (which was on diner's, drive-in's, and dives. rubbing elbows with guy fieri, and that's every one's dream!). and they paid for our bill. i feel like i must include that factoid because it was so, so kind. like, we ain't a cheap date! then we went to jack's place of work, molly moon's, and got free ice cream and watched all of jack's coworkers fawn over him. it was very endearing. then we sat by the lake and drifted off into the magical sunset of a successful double date (rare to come by!). 


// bellevue! 


// we attended the prettiest wedding at a house on lake tapps. it was amazing. amazing, i tell you. the couple jet skiied off into the dark abyss + we all cheered + then i poked and prodded to figure out what the heck the owner of this house does and how the heck can i join?! 


// and finally, on our last day there, i met up with brittany for breakfast. oh, brittany! she's actually the coolest + leaves you with the biggest gust of life from trying to keep up with her. ...also we gossiped about high school for about two whole hours. much needed.

// and the biggest thank you ever ever ever to josh and rachel. we had so much fun + will gladly travel sixteen hours in a car just to jam out to one direction + eat taco bell. 

 

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