happy birthday, dear morgan!

morgan is my tall, blonde friend. she goes to culinary school here in provotown but we have been friends forevsies. she is the friend i text when people are in the bathroom stall next to me making weird noises. or when i am making weird noises, rather. she is the friend that will help me pop a zit and relishes in cracking my knuckles and can win any ugliest face contest, unfortunately. she’s a dead ringer for khloe kardashian in that she is somehow simultaneously loving and disruptive (“you look so hott, you big, fat idiot!”). she can make me laugh so hard that i pee my pants and am literally in pain but she also can lounge on the couch and watch crappy reality tv with me, providing only the most witty commentary. she knows everything about celebrities, fashion, makeup, and hair. she’s like that cool older cousin.

but she’s not my cousin. she’s my tall, blonde friend. duh.

and it’s her birthday! and she’s turning TWENTY! everybody wish morgan a happy, happy birthday! 

p.s. once upon a time, i had to shoot the p.k. goal to qualify my high school team for the state tournament(…i was the last resort, everyone else had already shot!). naturally, i missed. i was so, so sad and fell to the ground crying(it was kind of adam morrison, 2006 ncaa tournament type of moment, anyone get my reference?). no one and nothing could console me. the next day, morgan showed up at my house with a plate of sympathy brownies, iced with purple frosting and a little heart made out of red sprinkles in the middle and all was good in the world again. and that’s just the type of person morgan is.

also i hope this wasn’t too saptastic.

morgan’s not much of a sapster

dirtily dashing.

on saturday, a group of friends and i ran(well…they ran, i walked and admired their endurance) in the dirty dash. never have i ever been so dirty. but seriously, mud found its way to every nook and cranny…EVERY nook and EVERY cranny! i am forever changed. 

highly, highly suggest doing this race. and then following up with a long shower, a plate of nachos at costa vida(…mooch them, preferably), and a five-hour snooze. oh! and then watch ‘moneyball’ afterwards and oggle brad pitt!

sunday evening treat...

my mommy showed me this video this evening and i thought that his handlebar mustache was too cool not to share. enjoy! 

*to view more profiles like allan’s, click here (watch sheryl’s! watch sheryl’s!).

thursdayness.

happy, happy thursday!
 

after getting nearly twenty hours of sleep yesterday, i decided that today i needed to be productive and use all that energy up. i woke up fairly early (7 o’clock!), downed a black forest cake yogurt (i think it was delicious?), and took a long walk around…places. i usually don’t intend for my walks to be long but with my failing sense of direction, they always are.

the next couple hours were kind of bleck. class. work. bleck. also today mr. manager man told me that he appreciated my unwavering sense of fashion, but i should perhaps try to be a bit more practical with my attire. ha. bleck.

but have no fear! my day turned around again when i walked down to a little eatery on campus and purchased a pb&j sandwich with marshmallows, some red hots, and a drink filled to the brim with ice that could contend with sonic’s.

with the aforementioned and a blanket and book in tow, i made my way outside and had myself a little picnic. the book ended up just being for show. i really just laid there, watched the track girls run by, and suffered from slight eater’s remorse.

the end.

p.s. everyone wish a happy belated birthday to my brother beau as well as a big ol’ congratulations! he landed a kick-a job where he oversees student interns on a trip to cambodia for the summer. kick-a!

getting better, like hermoine granger.

two posts in one day?! could it be?!

yes. because my thursday just kept getting better! like hermoine granger’s acting skills!

good: getting stopped at the soccer game and told that i looked exactly like victoria from ‘how i met your mother.’ i imdb’d her and decided she was a  suitable doppelganger (isn’t it the worst when someone tells you that you look like someone horrendous? or that you remind them of someone completely awful?).

better: sonic happy hour. well, it wasn’t actually happy hour. but those sweet, 44 oz. of carbonated goodness make any hour of the day happy.

best: modern family, morgan randall time, and another package filled with love and lemon head cookies from my mommy dear (and a cosmopolitan magazine…scandy dandy, i am a learned woman!)(also feel free to bug her for that recipe; i am a cookie connoisseur and i can say those are easily my favorites).

//phil: guess it’s just one of those things that we’ll never know, like what really happened to the titanic. //claire: …it hit an iceberg. //phil: maybe.

in the summertime...

 

in the summer time, me and some friends went and watched edward sharpe and the magnetic zeroes at a park in salt lake city.

lots of sweaty indie people, lots of swaying, and lots of outfit-choice-regrets.

but such a good time. i felt so ‘urban outfitters’ the whole evening. ha. now all i need is a townie bike, skinny legs, and a strong liking towards men who have mustaches and wear shpants.

(also, for the record, avery is a concert pro. the lady pushed her way to the front of the line and handled the handsy little hipsters like a champion of sorts.)

the mondays.

 

my first day of work went…swell? i really just followed mr. manager man around and pretended to be busy. i also got some really strange looks from people for wearing a dress, fur vest, patterned tights, and big boots… it’s fall, people, my favorite time for getting dressed! give me a break.

in other news, chick-fil-a’s ice dream is the victor in the on-going competition for best fast-food soft serve.

and that’s my monday.

high-five for it being over?

p.s. i miss you, mckenzie claire!

home, sweet home.

i’m officially a college student. i thought i was before when i started using dry shampoo and not washing my clothes as frequently (okay, ever; new rule: if you don’t sweat in it, you don’t wash it), but i officially am now.

 

this weekend after byu got thumped by university of utah in the holy war (favorite comment of the game: ‘this is why you should’ve gone on a mission, heaps!)(favorite post-game tweet by a friend: ‘a lot of babies are going to be made tonight at the utes after-party, and they aren’t even going to get suspended for it…’), i went to salt lake city to transfer to the university of utah. but just kidding. i went to salt lake city with rachael and avery to go back to rachael’s house and soak in the fact that we were actually in a house and not in the small, cramped dorm rooms for  the night.

i remember during holidays i would stare at my college-going family and friends in confusion as they took second and third helpings during meals and oggled over the simplest of things like three-ply toilet paper and a quarter-less washer and dryer.

now i am one of them!

when i went to rachael’s house, i couldn’t get enough of how good it felt to be in a home with cupboards full of food and multiple couches to lounge and watch movies and tv on and quilted, 3-ply toilet paper. i think i said ‘thank you!’ and ‘this is just the best day ever!’ upwards of five quadrillion times.

i think i spotted rachael’s cute little brothers shooting us the same confused look i described before.  you just wait, guys…you just wait!

it was such a great little mini-vacation that will have to become a monthly ritual (i really missed that 3-ply toilet paper…).

p.s. if you’re ever in the salt lake area, check out the dodo. it’s a hip little restaurant that refills your drinks before you’re half-way done and has the most delicious pesto salmon and dessert that is worth gaining four pounds over.

mama dear.

“please look to your faithful mothers for a pattern to follow. model yourselves after them. look to your mother. learn from her strengths, her courage, and her faithfulness. listen to her. she may not be a whiz at texting; she may not even have a facebook page. but when it comes to matters of the heart and the things of the lord, she has a wealth of knowledge. no other person on earth loves you in the same way or is willing to sacrifice as much to encourage you and help you find happiness—in this life and forever.
love your mother, my young sisters. respect her. listen to her. trust her. she has your best interests at heart. she cares about your eternal safety and happiness. so be kind to her.
a mother-daughter relationship is where a daughter learns how to nurture by being nurtured. she is loved. she is taught experiences firsthand what if eels like to have someone care about her enough to correct her while continuing to encourage and believe in her at the same time.”
-elder m. russell ballard, april 2010 general conference *

 

my mother has always been my best friend in the entire universe. she is seriously the most kind, selfless, and beautiful lady that i know. the woman answers my daily 300 phone calls and counsels me on how to talk to a boy without being awkward or listens to my rants about this and that and some other things or tells me when target closes in orem and treats each phone call like it’s the most important thing in her day. she is the most supportive person in the world and is always there for me, 24/7.

while i’m here at college, i am realizing how much i miss her. i don’t just miss her home cooked meals (i would kill for some moo shu chicken tacos or sunday stew with ketchup on top) and folded, clean laundry piles, but i miss her being there every time i get back from school, anxious to know about my day and asking what she can do to help. i miss going to lunch every day (yes, every day folks; my mom was the best school lunch date ever!) and random grocery store runs and late night real housewives sessions.

this week i was hammered with stress and chaos. i felt like i was running around like a chicken with its head cut off. i was forgetting assignments, switching my schedule around, and sweating the small stuff. my week was completely lifted when i received a random package from my mother filled with cute fall nail polish, a crafted notebook for my college adventures, a card with an encouraging message, and little trinkets to spice up my dorm. she knew exactly when and what i needed and truly made my week.

i’m so grateful to have her as a mother and a best friend.

miss you, mommy!

 *let it be noted: my mom is a whiz at texting, checks her facebook daily, and, upon my request, has activated a twitter account. booya.

dear couple...

dear couple sitting across from me at the library,

first off, hello. how rude of me to not introduce myself! i mean, we are sitting but three feet from each other. so close that i could accidentally play footsie with one of you if i decided to move my legs from the curled up ball they are currently in. i feel like if i tried i could probably touch you…

…nope, too much of a stretch. and you thought i was reaching for my smart water, ha!

anyways, my name is brooke. the girl you two decided to victimize with all your lovey-dovey studying. i still can’t quite grapple why you decided to sit at the same table as me. it is like we are on a date or something! well, maybe not a date. because that would be weird. i am clearly the third wheel in this situation unless i can reach out and touch…

…nope, still too far.

the hour we have spent together, sitting right across from each other, has been very telling. i feel like i have watched your relationship evolve. well, i have watched your casual backscratch evolve into a sensual (borderline obscene) massage session. i’m going to put a stop sign on the lower back lingering right now, mr. stripey t-shirt man.

…and there you go again, really? you seem to be fond of a massage technique resembling someone typing on the keyboard, mr. stripey t-shirt man.

also, what exactly are you studying, pink v-neck girl? you have been staring at your computer screen not typing anything for the past fourty-five minutes while loverboy types away rhythmically at your back.

…then again, i haven’t really done anything in this past hour either. besides stare at you guys. are you noticing me staring at you?

…i think you might be.

well, best of luck on your studies? or something? or whatever exactly you are doing?

xoxo brooke

p.s. after multiple attempts at sneakily taking a picture, i had to give up. the couple shall remain anonymous, i suppose.

brags.

 

this year i could have been a vegetable prepper at a catering company, a line server at zupa’s, a cashier at wendy’s, a bathroom janitorial lady at heleman halls, a customer service assistant at nordstrom’s and even a ibc language recruiting lad at some random company…but i’m not. after applying to 2,342 jobs, i can now say that i am a production assistant at byu broadcasting! yippity pippity!

it was actually a sick joke. i have applied to 2,342 places all year-long and no one would ever call me back. on sunday, i was on the brink of discouragement and tears over my long-term state of unemployment and bleak financial future. i decided to (…sappy time) say a quick little prayer that SOMEONE would be interested in hiring me.

and hallelujah!

this fine monday morning, i woke up to a voicemail on my phone from the broadcasting place saying that they were interested in hiring me. then when i was calling him back, another job i had applied for called me and asked if they could schedule an interview. then! as i was checking my calendar to find a time that would work out, i got an email from another company offering me the job.

i was so stressed out and overstimulated i couldn’t even be grateful. but i am now. and i have a job! today has been better than three trillion mcdonald’s ice cream cones.

more to come about this later. for now, i must sleep! because i have WORK tomorrow (well…kind of. i just have to fill out paper work but, you know)!

friday night ramblings.

 

(today is going to be a no-caps night; why am i so indecisive?)

the first half of my day was filled with pure academia (i realize this is the wrong use of the word, but it’s a no-caps kind of night) and slight pretentiousness. i started off my day with my morning jog (lie: i don’t jog enough to have a ‘morning jog’)(lie: …i never jog)(lie: i hardly jogged; i mostly just admired my friends jogging. they’re so spry!) around the temple (…at least i think it was the temple…i was crying so hard from my sore legs/stomach/arms/pride that i didn’t even look up).

following my morning jog (lie…), i wandered to the bean museum (pretentious!) with my anthropology class. to my dismay, it is not filled with beans. rather it’s filled with rad stuffed animals (it reminded me of kirk’s basement on the ali’s season of the bachelorette; his dang taxidermist dad ruined it for him!) and subtle smells of puke.

lovely.

i then dined at the museum of art cafe (pretentious!) with some friends and ate chilled raspberry soup (glorified danimals yogurt) amongst hipsters in stripey tee shirts (pretentious!).

following my m.o.a. meal, i dragged myself into the library and had the most awkward conversation ever with my peer mentor where i realized we never made eye contact once. or talked about anything regarding school. or even introduced ourselves.

(side note: while in the library, i stood behind this very portly woman who was laughing so vehemently that i began to fear she would never stop; that i would be standing there till infinity and beyond, listening to her chuckle)

i ended my day at a back-to-school bash at a dance club in provotown where i realized that my social life is killing my social life. to explain, the more i go out, the less i go out. to explain, when i dance, i scare people.

brandon davies was there. being all moral and stuff?

the end.

sushi and t.m.i.

A wise man once said that when you have nothing else to talk about, you talk about the current condition of your insides:

 

Currently there is a full-blown battle going on inside of my stomach. The sushi I ate today is having a terribly animated argument with the raspberry-lemon sherbet who is also in a quarrel with the dried apricots that are in the midst of a large altercation with the honey-ham slices.

I think tonight is probably the best night to make some new friends in the community bathroom?

Speaking of bathrooms(my favorite segue!)(I need to stop trying to purposely bring up bathrooms so I can share my 1,000 bathroom stories)(…especially around the opposite gender…), I have a story! Once upon a time I played basketball. I should probably use the term ‘played’ loosely; I mostly just cheered and clapped and distracted people at practice. But anyways, I played basketball.

Before every game, I would imagine all the possible ways I could embarrass myself in front of the large crowd(okay, the few supportive parents) that came and watched our game, tantalized by our high scores and ingenious plays. But anyways, I would imagine all these ways!

Thinking about potentially airballing/getting overly dike-y/dying on the court would make me so nervous before the games that I would have to speed walk/booty clench all the way over to the bathrooms to relieve my…nerves.

One particular game was no different from the others. Five minutes before tip-off, my brain started swarming with these humiliating hypothetical situations and I sprint-clenched my way over to the ladies’ room.

When I walked in a did a little silent yip in my head because there was no one else in there. I decided to take the middle stall, naturally, and cozied(not a word?) on down into the seat to…relieve.

My nerves were especially loud that game but, who cares, I was alone for Pete’s sake!

All of a sudden(!!!), the doors squeaked and two pairs of overly-tanned legs walked in right as my nerves were about to reach maximum…relief.

I was in full panic mode! What was I to do? I had to finish! I couldn’t just stop!

I folded my legs up unto the toilet seat so that they couldn’t see me and watched through the crack as they made their way to the toilets beside me, waited for them to get situated…and then I let my nerves fly. Over and over and over again.

The toilets flushed and the two girls walked out, gave each other the you-are-disgusting-I-can’t-believe-you-just-did-that face, and walked out in silence as I sat there, relieved.

I think I might have ruined their friendship?

…and probably your night.

Sushi and T.M.I…such a lethal combination.

things i want my sisters to know...

“Things will work out. Keep trying. Be believing. Don’t get discouraged. Things will work out.”
— Gordon B. Hinckley

presh-diddly-squat.

The cute little lovestruck couples all over Provotown are really toying with my heart strings.

awko taco wrap-up.

 

(left: a vow I made with a friend on a Hawaiian adventure to correspond purely in picture mail…sometimes I have to get creative; right: I got a Twitter and I’m a Tweet-machine…follow me!)

the first week of school was a double-stuffed, supreme awko taco with extra awko on the side. seriously.

let’s reflect:

1. a visit to the doctor’s office that led me to having to pee in a cup…and on my hand…and accidentally expose myself to the BYU Health Services laboratory via pee-sample drop-box window…oops.
2. realizing that my goals and aspirations for life really aren’t that spectacular and deciding to, instead, lie to everyone in my ward and tell them that I wanted to be a neurosurgeon (insta-respect!) only to be asked what classes I was taking for the per-requisites (‘uhh…writing…communications…spinning class?…i’m not a neuroscience major…’)
3. almost dying in a cave in Provo due to long, exhausting girl rants with my lady friends.
4. deciding to listen to Marvin Gaye Pandora station while on the temple grounds and quickly realizing that I was blasting ‘Sexual Healing.’
5. starting my Sunday and potential hall mates off with an extremely loud explicative when I realized my alarm hadn’t gone off. hiiiii chipman hall-ers!
6. spinning class and announcing all-too loudly that the bike was ‘killing my Mosman Multiplier!’
7. grabbing my go-to shirt (a denim button up a la Walmart) and my go-to pants (denim boyfriend jeans) while hurrying off to class in the morning and realizing that I was a walking denim catastrophe.
8. dancing with married men in my Social Western dance class (why did I sign up for this class, exactly? answer: an excuse to wear my purple cowboy boots and have the mere chance of meeting a manly man like Garrett Hedlund in ‘Country Strong’)–trying to remember the words to Cotton-Eyed Joe while attempting to not graze hips with my happily wedded dance partner while simultaneously shooting his wife loving, ‘don’t be mad at me! I’m an innocent freshman that wears a rainbow retainer to bed and doesn’t always shave my ankles!’ looks.
9. looking around in my anthropology class of 7,342 people and realizing that a girl that I creepishly Facebook stalked once upon a time was sitting right in front of me…(that class is so big that no one would notice if I never came…or didn’t wear pants! the thought!)
10. bragging three times to the same friend about how somehow had told me my voice sounded like Amanda Bynes (I was just so excited!)

…awko taco.