sixteen weeks!

- - - - - -
today at work, someone actually asked me if i was lactating yet. hahahahah. i am starting to believe that some people truly think pregnancy is some sort of disease or invitation to ask any question ever. also, no. not lactating...though i am growing a third arm + sweat profusely (...the last part is sadly true).

but i'm sixteen weeks! dude is as big as an avocado + my butt is as big as an elephant so thumbs up all around! also have i mentioned how much i love avocados? also is avocado toast the new donut? i'm on to something.

bonus jonas! my avocado toast + egg from this morning.
awwww yeah.

just look at that yolk run, people.

- - - - - - -

a happy picture + some words about being happy.

a happy picture of us happily dancing this summer.

...very much ripped off from kenna's wedding photographer...

it's fine. we're fine. 

i'm so happy to be happy. earlier this year, things were heavy + we had to work hard.

like. so hard.

i was very much depressed + completely checked out. it was pretty awful. 

but we came out on top! (exclamation point)(...i made it sound easy but refer back to hard work)

 and i now have a testimony of working hard +

seeking help when you need it + of being honest and owning your feelings. 

 also of comfortable couches in counseling offices + of having no shame -- when you need help, 

go get it! it's the most important thing in the world.

(bonus! you can feel like a celebrity + drop phrases like, 

"well, my therapist said..." + really freak people out)

also of good friends + a stupidly supportive family. 

this is all long way to say : i don't feel bad about ripping off this happy picture

because i deserve it, dammit. i'll be gushy if i want to be. 

marathon-ing // in which i talk for one mile about meghan trainor + pee in the woods.

- - - - - - - - - 

 (the funny part about this picture is i felt like i was FLYING. literally thought i was going so fast. i later watched the video jeff took + almost choked laughing at how slow i was actually going.)

well, by the pure grace of god, caffeinated energy chews, old kanye west jams + amy poehler's audiobook yes please, i finished the marathon. despite the whole getting-up-at-three-a.m. part + the where-are-the-bathrooms? part + especially, especially the why-does-everyone-here-have-amazing-legs aspect, it wasn't that bad.



i ran the race with my avery-friend! unfortunately her knee started acting up during the downhill parts + we separated for the last quarter. in the dramatized movie reenactment of my life, this part will be extremely heart-wrenching + maybe she will die or something + then everyone will hate me + quote lilo + stitch to me, "ohana means family. family means no one gets left behind" + then i will turn to alcoholism and dog fighting to mend my aching heart + guilt + it will. be. tragic. also, in the movie, i will win the whole marathon or something + have thick blonde hair. you know, to keep it accurate and raw.

in actuality, i looked back + gave her a thumbs up + a nod + then called her like, five minutes later. but, you know. hollywood.

ANYWAYS. i finished the race with a lady named leigh who started telling me how much she loved meghan trainor + due to pure exhaustion, i started to have all these really deep + well thought out opinions about her + her impact on society + yadda yadda yadda. where did this come from?! I DON'T KNOW! i'm convinced something happens to you when you're beyond exhausted; for me, it was not caring at all if people saw me peeing on the side of the road or singing out loud to my music +, evidently, talking ad naseum about meghan trainor.

we finished the race + i hugged leigh + then hugged this old man i didn't know + jeff just stared like, what the h-e-double hockey sticks happened this morning? it was all a blur.

now i'm nursing a foot injury + a nasty sinus infection + binge watching the office. i don't feel one bit bad about it because I RAN A MARATHON! i can binge watch netflix + eat bagels + beg jeff to bring me bubbly beverages if i want to! i'm hoping i can drag this out for a bit. at least until i get pregnant because i plan to not move for nine months. (cue evil laugh) i'm hoping to do another one but maybe this time actually train because holy shiz, what was i thinking?

p.s. this is coming to you from my fixed laptop! bless you little apple angels! they even cleaned it up + everything! it was sooooo dusty + dirty. the guy at the store asked me what i did for an occupation + i told him i worked in a saw mill + he sort of, kind of believed me. it was that bad.

p.p.s. look at the sunrise!!! if i were a different person, i would be like THIS WAS SO WORTH THE PAIN! or maybe like WAKING UP EARLY = WORTH IT. i wouldn't go as far to say THAT, but it was pretty.

hi! on a thursday!

hello from a thursday morning! i am currently sitting in my purple muumuu drinking my fourth diet coke of the day. whoops. if we are being super honest, i have spent the last hour googling ben higgins (new bachelor!), birth stories (...i know nothing. i am fascinated.)(also SIDE NOTE : like, so many people get their makeup done before they give birth because of pictures. YES QUEEN!) and new zealand competition eater (HAVE YOU SEEN HER?!?! she eats FIVE POUNDS of ramen!). also bios of teen mom because janelle.

this week was exciting + by exciting, i mean i had to go to the lady-doctor twice.
i actually kind of like the lady-doctor + feel oddly confident with my legs stirrups. hahhaahaha. i'd like to take that back.
anyways, when i walked into his office it was floor to ceiling covered in tribal garb. like, FLOOR TO CEILING. rugs, blankets, statues, beads, oil paintings. at this point i was still feeling uncomfortable so i told him that my husband was a native american + offered him the five tidbits i know about his tribe (MICHIGAN! CHERRIES! TURTLES! CASINO! ...CHERRIES?). he ate it up.

when i went in again, he had a few students with him who were observing (who did not find any of my jokes about seeing my underparts funny?) + proceeded to tell them that i was a full-blown native american + asked if i played lacrosse? because the native american in me would be great at it? have i been to a pow wow? how often do i visit my tribe? i gently reminded him that it was my husband, not me, who was a native american but he t o t a l l y didn't hear me / ignored it + continued to ask questions so i just rolled with it + retold the story of pocahontas as my own. by the end of it, i was basically an indian princess with an open back gown.

this all reminds me of my 19th birthday party (it was a surprise! SURPRISE!!!!!) when i walked in + a boy who was in my class + who i interacted with basically every day shouted "EMILY! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" + i was very, very confused because WE TALKED EVERY DAY! hahahah. it was too late to correct him. emily it is.

anyways, my family is coming today which is exciting. i need to clean + sort out some self-tanning blunders.
HAPPY THURSDAY!

sometimes // YOGA

- - - - - -

sometimes i feel like yoga class is just one hour long 

struggle to hold in a toot. 

(while doing fart-inducing poses)

namaste.

r i g h t now //

right now i am :

* wanting to know my future. just a glimpse. considering calling a psychic.
* sweating my brains out. utah. so. hot.
* spending all the time i can with my paigey poo.
* absolutely, positively destroying my skin with all this sun time.
   woops. fifty year old me will be a leather purse.
* trying to do yoga again? ...get back to me on that one. hahahah.
* resisting the urge to drive thru mcdonald's every. single. day. for a soft serve ice cream.
* fleetingly baby hungry.
* looking forward to being a wedding attendee again this next month!
* wondering where we will be this time next year(???). such a strange time in life.
* watching an unsettling amount of HGTV. i love you, joanna gaines!

- - - - - -

idaho + me in a cheetah dress (FOR MY POSTERITY) /

that's about it. 

p.s. i leave for georgia tomorrow! praying for a run-in with nene leakes. 

p.p.s. CAITLYN JENNER. blew my mind this morning! i was eating breakfast with jeff + scrolling through instagram, like a truly engaged wife, + my jaw DROPPED. TO. THE. FLOOR. also screen shotted it because i want her hair color. it's fine.

Brain dump + the return of the running selfie ||

Oh. My. I just finished Parenthood last night + bawled. Has there ever been a more touching finale in the history of television? I just love Zeek so much it is actually concerning. I sat on my bed with tears streaming down my face as Jeff stood in the doorway completely confused. Ha. It was just so good! I felt closure + like, yay! Everyone is taken care of! Everything is going to be okay! But also as a self-appointed Braverman, I felt sad that I wouldn't see them again. OH! MY! GOSH! Now I want to cry all over again.

Also can we talk about The Bachelor? This season has been especially great. I feel like my hat goes off to the producers for making such good television...but now can we have a follow up show about Kelsey? Woof. When she was just staring at Ashely I. (with the eyelashes) I truly felt uncomfortable. Was that whole date centered around the confrontation? Like, what exactly were they planning to do in the middle of nowhere with just a four post bed and some wine? That dirty dog. Just kidding. But also the helicopter get-away was so dramatic and perfect. Also I'm obsessed with Kaitlyn Bristowe. Voting her for Bachelorette.

ANYWAYS! What else? I've been running more as of late. I stupidly talked my Nikki friend into running the Provo City marathon with me in May. Ha. I feel like this could segue into a whole new ramble about how Nikki is the perfect friend to talk into anything. Truly anything. I remember one time we played a game where we closed our eyes + got dropped off in the middle of nowhere with no phones and had to find our way back. Every one needs a Nikki.

Anyways, running. I feel like there is this strange correlation between running + the amount of selfies I take. Like, look at this madness (all separate days, all in the same shirt + sports bra. Different wads of gum. Laundry is hard okay?) :

Hahahahaha. It's embarrassing. Every day after I finish my run I snap a sweaty picture to myself + send it to Jeff and he responds, "Yay! Go you!" half-heartedly. It just feels right.

Anyways. The end.

Rules of life pt. I

Never say no to a photo-booth.
Being a people-pleaser is tiring.
Be a generous laugher + tipper.
Pebbled ice + styrofoam cups are worth the drive.
Even the most sour people like to hear their hair looks nice.
Always maximize the cha cha, real smooth part of the 'Cha Cha Slide.'
(Six seconds of sexiness, ready go!)

TODAY I...

|| Shot a wedding + arrived frighteningly early.

|| Walked into a gas station to find a boy eating assumedly stale Christmas peeps

while crying into a walkie talkie + thought : Hmmm. Been there.

(also Pink's song Try was playing in the background)

|| Drank so much soda. SO MUCH. 

|| Took this super emo self portrait. It was cloudy. Don't blame me.

|| Laughed out loudly watching Friends. Season 8, I love you.

|| Bumped into like, everyone from my freshman year of college + 

instantly regretted my sweat-inducing turtleneck. 

|| Made a Lizzie McGuire reference that didn't land. 

|| Probably racked up the water bill to $4,382. Three baths is always a good idea(?).

|| Patiently waited behind a man attempting to buy cigarettes by 

unsuccessfully pointing. Left, left, down, left, right.

AND that, my friends, was my Friday.
Wash. Rinse. Repeat.
(well, sort of. My wedding tomorrow is at the same place...eery?)

Batting 1000 : BUBBLY! FUN! HAPPY! LOUD!

A picture that has nothing to do with the post.

Also this is very vain.

And self-deprecating.

The best kind of combination!

Sometimes I meet people for the first time + think, shoot, I totally misrepresented myself. I should have paced my personality a bit.
You see, my Avery-friend + I were talking at the gym yesterday about how often times we come on a bit too strong. I don't know how to explain it but...Oh! I just thought of the best simile (metaphor?)(simile!) :

I occasionally feel like a preview that kicks serious butt and you are like, this movie is going to be the funniest, most interesting movie of the year! Then you go and see the movie and you're like, huh? All of the good parts were just in the previews. Why am I just watching a chick sit here + watch the Bachelor + walk around Target + laugh at all her own jokes?

Ha.
That was really good.

For example : Just yesterday, I met an Internet-crush who was as fabulous in person as she is on the Internet, and mid-way through the conversation (I ambushed her in the gym locker room), I realized that I was literally screaming. My brain went through a sequence of thoughts :

Why is my voice so high right now? 
How do I get it down from here?
Should I keep this voice up through the duration of the conversation?
How weird would it be to switch back to my normal voice?
Why are my eyebrows cemented half-way up my forehead?
Why am I swaying my head back and forth so much?
Did I just squeal?
Where did that cackle come from?!

You get it.
Or do you?

Say you do?

Double-life ||

A random, self-indulgent rambling for your Sunday evening enjoyment.
But first! A PSA :
Linen pajama sets, people.
GAME CHANGER.
Also duck lips, also mirror selfie, also yadda yadda yadda...

As soon as I walk through the door of my childhood home, I revert back to being 15 : highly dependent, slightly confrontational, exceptionally loud, curiously hyper-active. I truly feel like I lead a double life, Utah Brooke and Idaho Brooke. Idaho Brooke doesn't know how to do her own laundry + texts her mom to make her breakfast + eats whatever, whenever at all hours of the night + (let me drive this point home) is so loud. SO loud. Like, makes your head whip around in the grocery store because why is that girl so loud?! type of loud. 

Utah Brooke, on the other hand, is slightly more introverted + CAN do laundry and make dinner (eh, sometimes) + feels just fine binging on Netflix + finds slowly perusing the aisles of Target while talking on the phone to friends + family to be the best kind of therapy. Also Utah Brooke is like, way more calm. 

Do you get what I am saying? DOUBLE LIFE. 

Shoot, get me on TLC. 

IT'S MY PARTY // 22 years, people.

- - - - -

Today is my 22nd birthday(!!!!). 

I remember being ten + thinking by the time I was 22 I would surely have

three kids + graying hair + a four-car garage. I used to think 22 was 

so old. Now that I'm here + reporting live, I can firmly say : 

I still feel like a 10 year old.

But my birthday! Today was great. In classic Brooke fashion, I locked my keys in 

my car this morning...spoiling my day full of errands + TREAT YO SELF-NESS. Ha. But you know what? I am glad I did. Today was full of long (LONG!) walks to get my caffeine fix + long baths (yes, plural) to be extra indulgent + long sessions on the couch, catching up on all the television I have missed these past couple weeks. And then Jeff came home! I ran to him like a puppy to its owner -- KEYS! CAR! LET'S GO! We went to Alamexo in SLC where I decided I, for no reason at all, wanted to be the most favorite person in the restaurant + tried to win the love of our waiter (have you ever had that desire? Sometimes I get the itch; I imagine the waiter going back to the kitchen and bragging about how they have the best table ever + how they are so lucky -- ONE DAY!). We dined on fresh guacamole, corn, salsa, and enchiladas. Oh! And the best churros I have ever had in. my. whole. life. 

We ended the night on Temple Square where I begged gaggles of adolescents to take our picture. Ha. Twenty points Jeff for obliging and for twinning with me.
(also, let it be noted, he started my birthday fiesta with a plate of salty, burnt bacon...MY MAN!)

(If you don't like your bacon burnt to a crisp, you ain't livin'...)

...and now, finally (this was going to happen eventually)...

I'M FEELIN' 22! 

Ha...

I've waited all year to say that. 

Anticlimactic. 

Currently...

I'm sitting in a hotel room with an inexplicable Persian influence. I'm fairly certain they wash their sheets with curry powder, but I can't be sure. On the bright side, it's kiddy corner from a McDonalds + there's cable (with Bravo!) + a bathtub. I rank a Level 0.5 on the Hotel Snobbery Scale. But I am quite bored -- I am watching the premier of Ladies of London for the third time this week and over-thinking my eyebrow shape. So, let's take some stock...

BUT FIRST : I am the queen of the salad. I really am. I have no talent in the kitchen but give me a salad bowl and some vegetables, and poof! I am in my element. I made this steak salad for Jeff and I on Sunday and it was heavenly.

- - - - - - -

I've seen this post popping around the Internet. Indulge me. Also, unrelated, but is the guy from The Singles Ward movie in the new Wendy's commercial? Get that man a Hollywood star!

And now...
Currently :

Making : a giant mess of my hotel room. I take full advantage of having two beds and sprawl all the contents of my suitcase all over the place whilst exfoliating with the complimentary coffee grounds (try it!).
Cooking : nothin'. Debating walking to the store for some Honeycrisp apples + pistachios.
Drinking : Dirty Diet Coke, duh.
Reading : 'Wedding Night' by Sophie Kinsella. It was nine dollars at Costco and is a romantic comedy in book form...and, once again, it was nine dollars at Costco. It's one of those books I feel slightly self-conscious reading on a plane.
Wanting : longer hair. I think?
Looking : forward to July when my sister comes to visit me. Falalaaaaa!
Playing : a game called, 'How long can I not work out for?'
Wasting : money. Whenever I am apart from Jeff, I tend to indulge in a little/lot of retail therapy.
Sewing : ha. I actually laughed out loud.
Wishing : I enjoyed running. I talked to a girl today who is running an Ultra-marathon this next weekend because it's just 'an addiction.' WHAT!
Enjoying : this weather.
Liking : the idea of a tropical vacation.
Wondering : if Beyonce and Jay-Z are still together? What the, Solange?
Loving : Red Mango's peanut butter frozen yogurt. Yum.
Hoping : no one saw me walk braless into the grocery store twice today. Unhooked my bra a bit too early.
Marveling : at how sexy Sonja is looking on Real Housewives of New York. Also when did their intros get so bad?! "I may not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but I'm ready!" "Sometimes Sonja has to go commando, what can I say?" No. Stop.
Smelling : curry powder + Coach's Poppy (I just got it in rollerball perfume. Thank you, ULTA. You are my happy place.)
Wearing : a black tee shirt from Old Navy and black sweat pants...from Old Navy.
Following : too many people I don't actually know on Instagram.
Noticing : how much my feet hurt. Holy crap.
Opening : up some microwavable brussel sprouts. It's time.
Feeling : more bored than I was before I started this. Like, significant amounts.

THRILLING.

Also, an update : Microwaved brussel sprouts smell like toots.

the secret life of the american teenager...or thursday before lunch.

:: between lifting stuff up + putting it back down at the gym yesterday (isn't the gym such a silly place? just heavy objects to lift...and put back down...and lift again! oh, bother), i showed morgan the stream of self-indulgent pictures i took yesterday afternoon in preparation for brooke vs. the d.m.v. of utah round two. were my cheeks highlighted enough? my eyebrows filled in okay? you know, standard precautions.
morgan then told me that i should post this stream of selfies...but only on my blog, because blogs are slightly less self-indulgent than other forms of social media while still being completely self-indulgent. it's wonderful. she's a smart one, that morgan.

just being carmen san diego. you're welcome. p.s. my shirt is now on sale for $12.00 + is so comf. run! 

:: i'm debating chopping my hair off. not that i have much to chop off anyways. i have had 'make an appointment at salon' on my to-do list since last week. mind you, 'watch third episode of the bachelor' (andi so wins) + 'apply self tanner' has been on there, too. very important things to remember! hashtag the secret life of the american teenager.

:: speaking of the bachelor, i'm mildly sad that lucy the free spirit was eliminated. she was so nice! and her fascination with showing her chesticles? fascinating. but, i super like renee the bartender of the world (wouldn't she make a great one? she's so understanding), chelsie the girl who wouldn't jump and stretches metaphors (...just jump off the damn bridge, wouldya?), and, of course, andi the lawyer -- homegirl packed a one piece, has a sexified voice, and is most probably sippin' on diet coke at the pool party + during the group date? props. crossing my fingers dog lover will not get eliminated because she is a meddling hoot. 

:: if you follow me on twitter, where all good blog posts go to die, you might have read that i met chris powell from extreme weight loss on my plane from phoenix to salt lake city. i positively love that show + watched it religiously over christmas break while puking out the contents of my stomach. something about his voice soothes an upset stomach? i dunno. anyways, i thought i recognized him + began to stare. did i know him? was he from moscow? were we best friends in the past? finally, he muttered a 'hello, how you doing?' which confirmed that i had been intensely staring at him for uncomfortably long.
oops.
i began to gush about how much i loved his show + how i have watched every episode as he took his seat behind me. then i continued watching vanderpump rules + lost all credibility.
also, to add : him + his wife bee-lined it to wetzel's pretzel's after they got off the plane. props, chris powell, props.

:: finally, finally i set up my voicemail. along with best buy + movies longer than ninety minutes, voicemails give me anxiety. eek. side note : did any one ever see the straight-to-dvd movie, one missed call? it's about voicemails which proves that other people must find them horrifying, too.
anyways, amongst a few calls from my old work + the chiropractor i found on groupon (...the hour long massage involved lots of mouth breathing + deep pokes, yowza), there was a voicemail from my brother-in-law who is now on a mission wishing me a happy two years. oh, the drams! it was precious.
...wasn't there a friends episode about this?



the end.

the end of an era : farewell to my license picture!

- - - - 

today i spent an obscene amount of time at the driver's license division in orem. what is the driver's license division? is it different than the d.m.v.? honestly, i don't know. no clue. i've googled it + it just keeps bringing up the d.m.v. of alaska. alaska, i tell you! i once half-dated a boy who worked in alaska over the summer + he came back sunburnt. so there's that.

i went in slightly optimistic -- the d.m.v. and/or driver's license division and/or alaska is sunny in the summer gets such a bad wrap. it's like monday. why does everyone hate monday so much? i really don't. it's just so easy to complain about. though, while we are here, i really do hate january which is sort of like the monday of the year. y'know?

but alas, the d.m.v. (driver's license division) failed me. the result of my optimism : two hours of sitting, fifteen minutes of contemplating handing the sniffly + over-anxious teenager next to me a tissue, a pounding headache, and no driver's license. see you tomorrow, window three!


or will i? i'm struggling.
you see, i'm not a photogenic person. at all. don't even try to talk me out of this one.
i've completely accepted this fact + am fine with it + will continue living my life ducking out of pictures + blaming the horrified look on my face that just happens on 'bad lighting.' it's fine. but the best picture of me ever taken, my pride + my joy, is my license picture. i love it. at airports, i love handing it to the security people + basically beg them to compliment me on how amazing it is ...for some odd reason, until now it never seemed narcissistic or at all concerning that i seek validation from t.s.a. employees?
ho hum.

i s'pose this is good? i'm trying to find the light. after all, i really don't recognize that girl wearing a button up + giant pearl earrings in my picture. it was kind of a strange outfit choice, even at the time. i remember watching a youtube video that day about looking good in license photos (bless the people who youtube that crap, also bless the people who make all the one direction tributes -- liam! be still my soul!) + having to dull down my excitement over passing the test because my friend (...nikki, cough, cough) didn't pass. hahahah.

it was awkward. i was bronzed. and fifteen.

fifteen was a weird year; i was dating a boy who eventually grew dreadlocks  (reference #2 to a boy i dated ... these things just happen?) + who told me our 'song' was 'all my life' by kc + jojo. yes, that happened. we watched a lot of movies where i felt like i probably wasn't the target audience (undercover brother + most anything with tyler perry...shockingly decent movies!) + he had an unnecessary 'y' in his name that just made my heart pitter patter. it all seems like a different life! i was head over heels + completely naive... then i was quickly crushed + listening to a lot of take a bow by rihanna + should've said no by taylor swift. this literally makes me cringe to type. it was a dark time with ill-applied liquid eyeliner.
oh, fifteen...
i'd gladly erase you but also those tyler perry movies weren't half bad?


...and now it's over! tomorrow i have to go turn in my license (...i think? please tell me you can keep 'em. i'm getting this sucker framed) + say goodbye to fifteen year old, bright-faced brooke who was so, so naive. i mean, kc + jojo people!

wish me luck + pray i don't get too chandler bing with the camera.

hilary duff + twenty years of life... or where i try to make something of my last year. go with it.

- - - - - -

i'm nearly twenty one, you know? this upcoming monday! get your party pants on + your streamers ready + don't give me too much attention because i thrive on that stuff + before you know it i'll be twirling around singing a nearly unrecognizable version of santa baby + staring at you, begging for your approval + reminding you that you created this monster, now give me a hearty courtesy laugh!

i'm just joking, sort of?

my morgan friend + i were talking about life today. real deep, no? well, we were talking about life in between long, heated manifestos about how hilary duff truly followed the straight + narrow and about our love for deep, gothic flowers. whatever those are. any hoots, were were talking about how fast life can move! it feels like a year is such a long time + then, poof! you are left scratching your head and thinking, was dying my hair darker really the most noteworthy thing i did this year? 
answer : sort of.

my twentieth year was one where i just left things gel. i'm a wife +, while there are some definite logistics + parameters, it means whatever i want it to mean, you know? like this whole marriage thing has me saying 'who gun stop me now?' fifty five times more than a normal adult woman should. i'm an awful full-time employee...and student and that is okay, i can make ends meet many other ways. i love to cook but would much rather get eye rolls for brining in store-bought cookies than have to whip it up myself. i need my girl time and i need my alone time. weekly.  and that's so okay. i'm sort of more introverted than i expected? i'm not always happy + funny. oh, + i'm not an ombre type of girl. i just ain't.
i learned to not care so much what people think. i never thought i did, but also i kind of do? i feel like each year i'm giving less damns about the approval of other people which is awesome yet really scary for my future? i predict a lot of muumuus + not a lot of bras. mmmm.

i like this twenty-year-old brooke, despite the thousand things she started + quit + started again + quit for good this year. ha! but hi! twenty-one! new license + a new start! (group poll : i don't have to add those 'x' amount of pounds i gained since my last license, right? right.) also i'm talking in third person? this should stop?

the point of this all is...welp, back to hilary duff? she's my safe place.

that one time i wanted to know what i looked like while having an animated conversation.

- - - - - -
as a child, one of my favorite toys was a voice recorder. my parents were unconventional, i suppose. no barbie jeeps or teddy bears over here, just rejected office supplies ( but also i thought i was a dog with my derek-neighbor + i played with barbies until i was like...thirteen. that's besides the point.). i thought it was so jarring to hear the sound of my own voice + got an absolute kick out of replaying it over + over again + making myself sound like a chipmunk with the fast forward button. self entertainment at it's finest! ...also the start of my narcissism, but aren't all bloggers?

today i reached a new level of low. or narcissism. toe-may-toes, toe-mah-toes. but actually it's toe-may-toes.
i texted my mom in an attempt to walk down memory lane about my love affair with the voice recorder. i wanted to sort out the details + figure out how old i was + when my parents decided it had gone on too long and took it away from me + also could they mail it to me because i really wanted to hear the sound of my own voice today.

i know, i know. it's bizarre.

anyways, i spent a good fifteen minutes talking to myself today on my macbook. i couldn't stop! i wanted to see what it looked like when i was talking from the side + how my face looked when i was surprised + how loud i chewed cereal. the important things, you know.

i actually think i may be going insane. who's going to give me a diagnosis?
here's the last of the videos. it is sort of a conclusion to all my findings. it's also where i realize how insane i was being. all good things to share to the blogging world.

onwards. i call this brooke in real life or the tipping point of my sanity or how i like my face from afar or why did i keep touching my hair?! or, quite possibly, the diary of amanda bynes 2.0. enjoy with popcorn.

happy friday, folks! 

a few things i feel the need to tell you.

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i only have school on monday and wednesday. also i am unemployed (officially). that leaves a lot of time to think + ponder + peruse the aisles of tj maxx on my off days. mostly i catch up on editing photos + pluck my eyebrows (...does any one else have to pluck every day? what is this mess?! why am i so hairy!?), if you were wondering. today i mentally noted all of the things that i was going to tell my avery-friend who is on a lds mission in atlanta, georgia at present. i am kind of the worst at keeping in touch with her + more often than not i forget to put these mental letters into actual writing. oops. here's to avery!

(this is my niece kaliyani. the point of this photo is...there isn't one. but it's tuesday! and every one needs a little baby in their life. and also isn't she the cutest? her lips!)

• last sunday i quit diet coke cold turkey. i know, i know. i'm so brave. mostly i just want to cry + curl into a little ball...but aren't i brave? we shall see how long this lasts...
• tonight i namaste'd with my rachael-friend. peeps! yoga! i felt so relaxed the whole time. also i pounded a bunch of brussel sprouts before + had to exert half my effort  to stop from tooting. did i ever tell you about the one time i went to zumba + literally stunk up the back row? and the worst part : when the girl next to me rolled her eyes + scoffed at the heavier man next to me, i joined in! as if it was his fault! bless that pony-tailed wonder.
• on a scale of one to ten, how serious do you take facebook invites? my morgan-friend invited me to her housewarming party on saturday + i completely missed it. but we were snap chatting the whole time?
• lee daniels' the butler. (is that the full name? i'm assuming lee daniels is the director who does not want to go without credit?)(side note : if i directed a movie, you bet i would put my name in the title! i get you, lee daniels. i get you)(unless that movie was lady in the water...because that movie just sucked) you must see it! it was so moving. and oprah! hats off to you, lady! another bonus is realizing you are not the target audience while watching the previews. oops.
• a boy in capri pants complimented my collection of ankle bracelets + began to tell me about how he too collected bracelets from all of his world travels; this one is from spain + this one is from new zealand and... i told him how i just got them from a store in moscow...idaho, that is...and how i have a patch of leg hair interwoven into them because it's impossible to shave underneath all that string. maybe i should start traveling?
• i've been reading! i go through these phases where i am a reading machine + other times i don't ready anything. not even menus! was that funny? that wasn't funny. anyways, i am reading a million in a thousand years. it's so good. and that's all i have to say about it because i'm on like, page fifty.
• i love fall. finally i can start making my body look like a box again! 

...maybe this one will make it to the mailbox? 

unemployed woes, but who am i kidding?

ah, the life of an unemployed twenty-year old. 

it's actually not all too eventful. aren't most twenty-year olds mostly unemployed, anyways?

but i actually made dinner today. and did all the laundry. jeff stapleton raised his brows at me + gave me a look that said, you should stay unemployed forever! 

but probably he meant, i want sex. 

ha! just kidding grandma. just kidding.

triple crossing my fingers that our children inherit his pouty lips + eyes. and also his facial hair because, woof. combine that with my hairy nature + our kids will be shaving at the age of four and i'm fairly certain we will land a TLC show with that plot right there.

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p.s. my father-in-law (dan, dan, the fix-it man!) + my jeffrey have watched breaking bad every night this week on the couch and my heart sort of melts. breaking bad is truly the bridge from father + son to heisenberg + pinkman. i'm fairly certain they will open up a car wash together here soon ;).