and her small heart grew three sizes that year...

this past year, i feel like i have learned how to love things so hard. let me explain:

i never really bought into the idea of love and all of its trappings. the thought of a guy somewhere in the world holding half of my heart really made me want to vomit (the visual!). i always scratched my head at the stories where a homely girl meets a vampire and falls in love with him and becomes this sparkling goddess vampire slayer (...twilight...). why did i need a man to make me glitter in the sunlight? turn up the destiny's child, will ya?

i already felt complete. unquestionably single, but complete.

my roommate in college and one of the three people i feel comfortable using the term best friend with, avery, is your token cool friend. you know what i mean? we had a sort of hunter-gatherer relationship where she would hunt and gather all prospective friends...and i would sit in our room watching netflix with my retainer in. it was a truly beautiful thing. she validates the fact that, because you are friends with her, you are partially cool. you have to be! 

"sorry ma'am, but you are not allowed to be at this party for the world's most elite, i'm going to have to ask you to..."

"...but i'm friends with avery miyahara!"

"oh! in that case! come on in, person dressed like a colonial lady! welcome to the world's most elite party! have a mini corndog?"

you following? i swear, if sweet mary and joseph and just told those pricks of innkeepers that they knew avery miyahara, the entire christmas story would have gone a lot differently. they would have been put up at the finest establishment! is this irreverent? this is irreverent. onwards!

avery and i performed magic in our tiny dorm room at 1121 chipman. those two semesters together, my cool-avery silently helped me to whittle away all the dumb stuff that had burdened my soul all through high school. suddenly, all my insecurities just seemed kind of, well, stupid. thick thighs? pffft. a permanent food baby? pfffft. more-than-occasional upper lip hair? pff...actually, no. that one still sucks. 

in sum, i became complete. 

and then i met jeff.

oh, jeff. 

this past year together has helped solidify the fact that yes, i was still a complete person without him and am still that same complete person with him. meeting him didn't make my skin glitter or freeze my blood or anything major. he didn't come bearing half of my heart (the visual! gross!) or suddenly make me realize that i was a ten-cow woman. t-rust me, i already knew that (joking!). 

but he did make me love things harder. it was like on the grinch where his heart grows three times bigger; i loved things more. three times more, in fact! fountain drinks, television shows, even my idaho and family, things i already loved, i loved more. 

...and, unfortunately for you all subjected to my selfies or occasional brag-fest, this i loved myself more, too. jeff took all the things i already loved about myself and shouted them back at me lovingly. you do have the best taste in apples, brooke! you are suspiciously attractive when you sweat, brooke! (i glisten guys, i really do!) you do find the best drive-through salads, brooke! 

it's like jeff has blown up my heart so big that it could burst; case-in-point: i commented on a friend's instagram the other day that 'my heart was warm' after looking at her pictures. what? when did i become affectionate? (answer: still not; let's not hug, ya?)(kidding!)

i love that boy. more than i love myself, i promise. and i love that 2013 is like this big plot of land with fresh snow that i can't wait to defile. 

hats of to you, 2011.

2011: ready, go!

in january, i witnessed the most insane flood that moscow has ever experienced (at least i’m ALMOST sure), discovered my love for high buns and bright lipstick, made lots of resolutions that i’m nearly positive i broke within a week, and got a new phone that unleashed the narcissist hidden inside of me.

 

in february, i received my acceptance letter to byu and was too tired to muster up any excitement, watched jesse jackson give a speech but really listened to the juicy gossip being told in front of me, went to sky-high for the first time ever, and sat on the student side for the last time ever watching high school basketball.

in march, i road-tripped to utah with my family and jason and paraded all around provotown, welcomed my cousin dan home from his mission, won a bingo game with mckenzie, visited my kylie-friend in san diego (and was happily stuck there for five more days due to backed up planes) and went into a food-coma every single day, and played in my last club soccer game…ever! 

in april, i made the adult-decision to attend summer term at byu, listened to general conference and learned about the simple expressions of love, wore heels to school for the first time ever, went to the renaissance fair with my family, and watched a lot of high school baseball.

in may, i went to my last high school prom with my friend logan and left the night with a crown, sash, and realization that that high school was basically over, skipped school A LOT and opted for bike rides and picnics instead, put the finishing touches on the senior skip day, seriously soaked in the beautiful weather and really loved on moscow, fell off my bike and busted open my head, and did not get raptured.

 

in june, i graduated from high school and nervously gave the graduation speech, had the most fun graduation party at my house and attended an all-night one put on by the high school (…where i was hypnotized!), said goodbyes to my family and friends and moved to utah…only to see them two weeks later in portland at my grandpa’s funeral, and spent a weekend at a cabin in utah. 

in july, i spent fourth of july on the lawn of a fancy country club in salt lake, rode a horse, went on a seriously awkward hiking date where i was pressured to where a cowboy hat?, had the most fun five days ever in the hometown of katie and avery in southern california, and nearly got kicked out of the hospital’s cafe for stealing refills of vanilla and cherry diet coke. 

in august, i saw edward sharpe and the magnetic zeros at a twilight concert series, explored san fransisco with my family, watched my brother get married and my grandma dance crazily at the reception, surprised jason at his family reunion in red fish, idaho, took my first college final, and visited home for a few weeks where i squeezed in some beloved lake time, went to a foam dance party, and prepared to go back to byu where i was rooming with avery(!!!!) and living right across the hall from rachael and lily(!!!!).

 

in septemeber, i began a friend-crush on landon, josh, and ally while spelunking in a provo cave, camped in a yurt, ran (well…stumbled) a half marathon in the mud, went to a 90′s dance party where rach, lily, aves, and i were the first to get there and last to leave, landed a job, had an ultrasound in which i flashed the pee-cup-getter, learned that i CAN NOT sit through a full football game and, fortunately, avery can’t either, sat in a fancy suite at the salt lake real game and drank so much of the free diet pepsi, and got really nostalgic over summer term. 

in october, i watched bruce get baptized, went to vegas with rachael, celebrated my cousin sean’s birthday with my aunt, grandma, and mother in town, spent halloween day as a fifth-wheel (WILLINGLY!), drove for fifteen hours straight squeezed in a car with landon, phil, josh, and brighton to portland, rode around on a moped called hidalgo, and watched the entire kardashian wedding with my sister, mother, and grandma in canby, oregon.  

in november, i watched the vandal vs. byu game alongside my fellow idahoans, celebrated a faux-thanksgiving with my family in a hotel room in utah because beau and rosemary couldn’t make it back, made the executive decision to hop on a bus early and come home for an extended thanksgiving break in which i ate ice cream every day, and got hit by a car on my bike? boo that.

in december, i fell in an even deeper love with my friends and college experience, had the BEST birthday ever and was completely and totally surprised at a dessert shop, bought a camera (mostly)all by myself!, went to the first presidency christmas message, won an intramural championship (ha!), ate far too much at tucano’s and had the best friend-date ever with lindsay, josh, and landon, made a silly youtube video, said sad goodbyes to josh and landon, didn’t take finals seriously enough (oopsies…), came home for break and did real idaho-y things like shoot guns and eat potatoes, and celebrated the new years by taking kenziggy pop out for a movie and sneaking in popcorn and sodas and getting surprised that my kylie-friend is in town! 

the end; bring it on 2012.

My Top 10 Favorite Things about 2010 (in no particular order):

1. All the people that filled it up. I felt like 2010 was spent with the people who I genuinely love and who genuinely love me.
2. Saving lives. No really, I did. Well, not really. Once upon a time I was in a wave pool in Boise with my beardy-friend, Jason. We were trying to balance on a stolen tube when we noticed that there was a large, ginger child (in other words, a day walker) suffering to stay afloat right next to us. I quickly jumped off the tube and tried to give it to him, but he was struggling so much that he couldn’t hold on to the tube. Jason had to jump into the water and try to shove him and his now-bare-butt up onto the tube. I began to simultaneously cry, laugh, and urinate from the sight of this. Fortunately, the ginger was saved. Hopefully he’ll enroll his 14-year-old self in some swimming lessons.
3. Being a senior. Though most of my friends have ventured off to different colleges in various states (or to the University of Idaho down the street) and no longer roam the ill-colored hallways of MHS alongside me, I love that I am now a senior. Everything is more fun. And I am that much closer to being done with school (…only to be met with four more years of college).
4. San Diego, California! I was fortunate enough to visit San Diego two times this year, once for spring break and then again the first week of June. The first time was spent with my cousin Ryne and my friend Kylie–we played a lot of chatroulette (I don’t recommend this) and gorged ourselves with HoDad’s burgers and milkshakes. The second time was my most favorite–Kylie and I drove all the way down there to drop her off at college and was met by Morgan and Aleigh. There we gorged ourselves in girl-time, In n’ Out, and Bubba Sparxx.
5. All things summer-time.
6. Playing the role of Mr. Bud Weiser: Folks, Utah is an odd place. Plain and simple. When I visited my toe-headed friend Morgan there this year, Provo did not disappoint. We attended a ‘white trash’ party where there was arm wrestling, macaroni and hot-dog eating, and good ole honky-tonk-ing. Morgan, Hanna and I really got into our costume; Morgan was Becky, a 32 month pregnant chain-smoker who fancied all things John Deere; Hanna was Starla, Becky’s child from an illegitimate father (who was brown); I was the notorious Mr. Bud Weiser, a man who, clearly, couldn’t put down the bottle.
7. Learning that moles really do grow back again. While we were in Portland visiting my Geemama, my sister McKenzie offered to scratch my back. McKenzie prides herself in her mass calcium intake and her fingernails prove it. As I was sitting on the edge of the bed, enjoying the back-scratch-session, I felt a sharp pang and turned around only to see that McKenzie had scratched my most favorite mole right off. I held a grudge over that for a few weeks. Fortunately for our relationship and for the sake of my back, the mole grew back. Thank you for that 2010.
8. That I’m 18!
9. What I learned: To sum it up, I learned that organized sports may not be my calling anymore, that I actually can’t Dougie, and that, despite all of this, I am still okay.
10. That it’s over!