a night-cap.

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

my blonde-friend morgan showed me this video tonight -- TFF! (too freaking funny)

p.s. don't you think sharing youtube videos is like, the most personal/horrifying thing since revealing how much you weigh during the winter months? (i'm dense, okay?) every time i share one with a group i end up just staring at the other people and judging the sincerity of their laugh. i know a pity laugh when i hear one, mom...


an evening jog with brooke.

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

yesterday evening i set out for an after-work job (if i give it a title, it sounds like it happens often? right?) with a lofty goal: eight miles. i could do it! these four-mile MAXIMUM legs of mine could handle it. what's an extra four miles but an EXTRA FOUR MILES, anyways? i felt like the universe was cheering me on.  

immediately as started jogging, i was feeling it. i felt like blake lively running on the beach in sisterhood of the traveling pants (...why is your hair down, blake?!). a mile into it, i had to go to the bathroom. like, HAD TO GO. i ducked into a nearby harmon's, sampled some stinky cheese, did my business with minimal effort (aren't those the best?), and was back on my merry way. with my hair up. and i was feeling it.

a few minutes passed and i came across a stable full of horses and grew uncharacteristically excited over the whole thing. the horses, the cheese, the stable, me jogging...something was in the air. i made the loudest kissing sounds i could muster up and yelled a few times "heeeeeeeeey, horsey! horsey! horsey!"

...i don't even like horses? why did i do that? do horses even like the kissy sound? (...i submit not...horses one, two, and three were completely un-phased. horse four expressed annoyance in a horsey way...)

i evaluated the current state of my sanity for the next twenty minutes. boy, did time crawl...

and then i was back! i was feeling it! hello, pretty dandelion! how are you doing today, tree with red leaves? high-five, oncoming jogger!

yes. i high-fived a jogger? i don't know what brought it upon me. i just stuck my hand out, gave him a few head nods and a sheepish smile, and slapped his hand hard. WHY DID I DO THAT? i think he gossiped with the horses about me after...

another twenty minutes wondering if i was still mentally sound. i decided conditionally? not around horses or beefy joggers or super-sales at the old navy?

but i was still feeling it. boy! was i feeling it! i was audibly huffing and puffing and yipping and pipping. eight miles! i can do this! 

and then it began to rain. no, pour! 

at first i was loving it. oncoming cars were staring at the crazy girl running, thinking about how dedicated i was? how fit i must be? boy, is she motivated? i splashed a few times in the puddles for a special effect as if to announce to all the warm passengers: "I AM LOVING THIS, oncoming cars! I LOVE THE RAIN! THIS WAS A GREAT IDEA AND I DON'T REGRET THIS! WEEEE!"

...the novelty of the whole thing quickly faded as i froze and my sunless tanner (i miss you, free tanning at waikiki beach!)(having a native husband always makes you feel pale!)(i know, like...i know...) dripped dramatically down my face and unto my shirt. i was like a commercial for gatorade, with my colored sweat. maybe chocolate flavored? or foolish flavored, limited edition?

the universe was not on my side that evening. no, the universe was laughing at me and my streaked tan. 

thankfully jeff came to the rescue and picked me up a mile away from our house. i hadn't realized how far i had ran due to my insane behavior. 

"i honestly don't know who that person was for the past seven miles," i told jeff as he stared at my streaked face."i high-fived a jogger?"

"that's serious!"

...and then i took a warm bath and finished the last season of 30 rock and came to my senses: blake lively ran with her hair down because she was feeling it, too! i'm normal! 



Sunday, September 23, 2012

the weekend has come and gone and yet i still have a case of the fridays. we both had big tests on saturday and spent most of the weekend studying and/or pretending to. mostly. isn't that just the cruelest? and this dang '8 week no sugar challenging challenge-challenge' robbed me of my normal sunday night sugary-snack coma. see you in late november, beloved tray of neglected sunday-school brownies. 

but i did take two power naps today, read that TWO.

in other news, my movie-picking rights have been taken away. darn you, morning glory (i trust you, rachel mcadams!) and salmon fishing in the yemen

and i did spring cleaning a la plucking eyebrows? 
...is it friday yet?


things of high importance.

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

last night after an exhausting and serious debate, it was decided: the right side of my face is superior to the left (i shouldn't have been surprised -- the left side has been defiled by a scar from a biking accident. somehow(?) half of my left eyebrow disappeared and has to be penciled in ad nauseum. sometimes, if you're lucky, the fading serves as a  sundial of sorts; during the morning it's thick and dark and oh-so-gorgeous and as the day goes one, the eyebrow vanishes! magic?)

...it was also decided that sean lowe as the new bachelor is good for the eyes but maybe not for the soul? those opened-mouthed kissed week after week...oh, heavens! and the terrible choices in shirt colors (...is he perpetually sunburned?!)...

...additionally, it was decided that peach-stops on the way back from work can change lives (LIVES, people!), crushes on tina fey/liz lemon are okay so long as i can justifiably have a crush on kevin james (pre-weight loss, of course!), tuna-loaf should never, under any circumstances, be made again EVER, and mum's the word on repeat outfits (nobody even SAW me on tuesday, after all?). 



Tuesday, September 18, 2012

(the far right photo was at the peak of my jeffarazzi annoyance. ha.)

september makes me itchy for change. it might be the shifting of seasons or the barren agendas or perhaps it's just that i'm brooke and this always happens? this september i got especially change-crazed; i even messaged jeff at work about living in michigan? what? 

jeff vetoed the michigan idea...and the 'let's buy a cat!' idea...and the 'call me bubbles?' idea, too. he convinced me to channel my craze into something less...permanent (a short stint in 'bubbles'-hood can have lasting psychological damage, you know?). like a hair cut. 

so i did it! and i even put some color in it! but feel free to call me bubbles ;). 

p.s. my hair was chopped/washed/colored/complimented thoroughly at salon k in provo by  karissa--  i super recommend her! she was so fun and talented and gave me a diet coke 'for the road' (the whole salon sympathized with my recent off-brand switch) and her kardashian is kim? 


the least sexy.

Sunday, September 16, 2012

friday is our designated 'date day.' i always feel lame saying it and don't much like to talk about it on account of it makes me feel old (i do like the alliteration, though!). jeff took the reigns on friday and picked out a thai restaurant down the street for our d.d.d(esignation). i was excited! so excited, in fact!, that i spent a frustrating hour trying to pick all his brothers' hair out of my sweater. because i give hair cuts, you big weird.

right as we sat down, jeff ordered. there was no time for drink-picking or menu-pronouncing (my grandma's rule: don't eat what you can't pronounce; i was had limited options for most of my life -- especially when i had a short stint in lispiness due to orthodontics!). curry! pad thai! water, please! 

the waitress returned suspiciously fast with our food; i am nearly positive she just nuked some leftovers and called it THAI! i was so hungry that i didn't care. we dove into our bowls in silence and were completely finished in seven minutes (SEVEN!). i don't even recall chewing? 

we were there twenty minutes total. TWENTY MINUTES CAPITAL LETTERS. jeff suggested we get some more noodles at winco (unlawful sampling at the bulk bins could be dessert?) and i discussed my newly found knee zit (who even gets zits on their knees, anyways?).

...we ended the night in comfy sweats watching netflix'd episodes of 30 rock...

when i told this story to my mom, she just laughed and said: "oh, married life!"

to which i replied: "oh?" 

also the verdict is still out on knee zits.


8 week challenge! (or something like that?)

 jeff and i stupidly accepted my families '8 week challenge weight loss challenge' challenge (challenging?). it's this whole challenge (challenge!) which entails no sugar six days out of the week, exercise, vegetables, and other such things? 

anyways, in order to hold some sense of accountability (and since we all know i am the pits at challenges)(challenge!), i have decided to post a little update on sundays about our week and how it was for us. it will involve little whining and some humor and will probably only last a week? (no judgement passed if i am a fit of chocolate covered gummy bears and chocolate chip cookies...tuesday?). also i promise there will be no awkward before and after pictures-- unless i end up looking like heidi klum, in which case there will be a lot of afters.

wish us luck! (and you can join, too! click here!)


real coke?

Friday, September 14, 2012

there are very few things that truly rev my engines (politically)(sexually...that's another story)(only kidding!). very few things that would make me hold a picket sign or strain my vocal cords from chanting. is that bad? i am sort of, kind of sometimes easily swayed. i have my firm beliefs on the big things (uggs are ugly but in some specific situations, extremely practical; a movie is the worst first date; eggs with a1 or ketchup, only), but on the little things...eh, i'm kind of here and there. 

i remember one time in writing class, my teacher told us all about the wild horses and how they should be allowed to roam freely! forever! she used so much pretty language and exaggerated arm movements that i left the class nearly shouting: "FREE THE HORSES!" another time i was at the farmer's market and a man told me if i signed his petition for more money towards nursing homes, he'd give me a free hamburger coupon and sign it i did! all caps, even! (...and that was the best hamburger i've ever eaten, by golly!)

just give me a compliment and the promise of free food, and i am on your team! go us! out to change the world, one wild horse at a time! 

as i was walking home today, i noticed a group of young men handing out fliers. and free soda. i marched over to them and asked what they were all about? and can i have one of those? they told me that they were out to change byu-- they were petitioning to have caffeinated soda on campus!

it might have been the fact that they handed me a REAL coke (you guys! jeff did some silly calculations and realized that if we buy the shasta knock-offs instead of REAL diet dr. pepper and diet coke, we will save something like $500 a year? say what?)or the fact that one of the boys complimented my skirt, but i am all about it! go us! out to change the world, one caffeine buzz at a time!

but in all seriousness, please give us some straight coke, byu? and do you really like my skirt? 

...let the wild horses roam free!



Thursday, September 13, 2012

i'm going to go out on a big, fat whim and say that this week was sort of the start of fall? officially? this was the first week where i didn't have to simultaneously walk to school and air out my armpits -- that's a big feat, you know? today was especially delectable. the air was so crisp i just wanted to suck it all up and i am almost certain i heard some leaves crunch -- i have missed that sound. 

today jeffrey took me on a school-date to the cougar-eat to share(?) chocolate milk and oatmeal raisin cookies. he has a weird way of drinking chocolate milk in which he puts his entire mouth over the bottle? also his beard has earned him a few 'honor code' references. also today i ran to the store because i was craving pickles and vanilla pudding, these things happen you know? i then attempted to open the jar of pickles while driving while changing the radio station and spilt the jar all over my leapord print pants and car. now i smell like pickles and really don't foresee any more pickle-cravings in the immediate future. 

 and that's all. (p.s. happy basically-weekend!)


a dollar cone, too.

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

yesterday afternoon while i was sitting at work (at my desk! my very own desk!), i got a phone call from morgan's mom telling me that she had been in a little car accident and that i should go get her. i exhaled deeply and slammed down the phone -- most likely startling the focused programmers in my department -- and sprinted for the door. adrenaline was rushing! mind was racing! legs were moving uncharacteristically fast!

as i neared UVU, i could see that she was in no real harm (thank the high heavens!). her treasured car named after her grandmother (oh, judy!) was being towed away and she was chatting up the boy that she just hit. apparently he know's jef holm? and apparently he bought the car four days ago? oops. also, let it be noted, his name was tucker.

morgan and i went to mcdonald's (the place where we celebrate and wallow in our sorrows) for a stiff drink and a dollar cone -- she had just totaled her car, you know?

it all reminded me of the day that i hit two cars -- yes, two cars -- in one day. i was pulling into church and scraped the car next to me. i left a note explaining the situation and how sorry i was and that the right thing to do was forgive, right?

three hours later, i backed into the car next to me.

at that moment, i truly thought my life was over. i had just hit two cars for heaven sake!  i would forever spend my life indebted to these two mini-van owners...license-less.

sometimes during my bad days, it's so hard to see out of them. to remember that tomorrow is another day and that i will soon escape this moment of MY PARENTS ARE GOING TO KILL ME-ness. i have to remember that life goes on. that eventually i will, hypothetically speaking, go on to drive again. and hit three more cars (no judgement here! practice makes perfect! we learn from our mistakes!).

am i being profound yet? i know you consider me your source of inspiration and wisdom?



Tuesday, September 11, 2012

 original image: via
i remember the television was on. the television was never on in the mornings at my house; my older brother clay ruined that for us when he fell into  a deep, crusty-eyed trance watching cartoons and was late for school. but the television was on and my parents were frozen. my mother waved my siblings off to school and i walked over to my neighbors house; this was routine. this was normal.
when i banged on the front door, no one answered. i let myself in and found them in the back, gathered on their parents' bed staring at the television. i remember feeling so young and so confused -- i wanted to feel sad! but why? what was going on?

i remember walking into school and feeling it again -- the sudden halting of life. i knew that something was going on that was bigger than me, bigger than the silly morning announcements over the intercom or the attendance that needed to be taken. but i didn't know what was happening or why it was happening -- i just knew it was big.

my teacher tried to explain everything to us but it all seemed unreal. it didn't seem like it was applicable to me and my small-town family at all; when was this going to end? when was life going to leave this moment and move on?

now -- eleven years later -- i understand the impact that it had on my town, thousands of miles away, and all the lives that were sacrificed and effected. i still remember it; the brief freezing of time and of life for those few hours that morning. i am now able to understand the events of 9/11, but still struggle with the 'why' of the whole situation. i am so grateful for this country of ours and that i am able to be here to remember today.



Sunday, September 9, 2012

hi everyone! i moved to blogger -- how exciting is this?! i just felt like i need a change, you know? plus i realized it won't be 'simple brooke' forever. there's jeff too, you know? and since 99% of this blog is pictures and stories about him, i thought i might just include him in the title. kind of. there's still a lot of work to do design-wise but it's coming along. right?

oh, and this is my living room.

this weekend was not long enough. i felt like it went by so quickly and i hardly had any time to mourn over the split of will arnett and amy pohler or paint my toes (quick poll: is black nail polish on the toes a no-go? i kind of think my toes are too fat. but really). we spent an obligatory half at the football game -- it was so blazing hot! -- and quickly made a dessert for the ward social. and by quickly, i mean we chopped up apples and snickers and stirred in cool whip. pinterest calls it 'silly green salad' but i call it slacker-married-slacker. the poor bowl didn't stand a chance on the dessert table. apparently my relief society is full of over achievers? i am fairly certain i saw a dessert that predicted the future, shot off fireworks, and repeated the constitution. all while tasting like peanut buttery goodness. 

poor little green salad.

we stayed longer than we anticipated at the social. and even maybe, MAYBE made couple-friends? maybe? you guys, i am terrible at it. i am way too over-eager and keep scaring them away! who needs couple-friends anyways? 

unless you do. in which case, let's be friends? want to come over for dinner? let's plan a couple's vacation?! i love you. best friends. 


likes + don'ts.

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

this is a picture from our honeymoon. jeff thought i looked like the quintessential modbod shopper with my t-shirt under the long dress combo. you’re welcome. consider me your beacon to modest dressing! (do i smell a sponsorship? c’mon, people!)
:: i am on one of my short-lived exercise kicks. like, a super kick. i’ve been trying to wake up early and run and pick things up off the ground and everything! but being so sore that i literally fall down on the toilet? i could probably live without that (waaaaait…when does the soreness go away, again?)
:: the support and love we got on our wedding day was truly amazing. like, so many congratulations and bed bath & beyond gift cards that my head could spin…but my perpetual hand cramp from writing all those thank you’s? yowza! i have a problem in which i want to write a novel to each person, describing the very moment we met and the reaction when i opened the gift and how much i just love it and what i ate that day and…you get the point. i’m just overly thankful or something? (p.s. to whomever gave me the dish towels: thank you, anonymous gifter!)
:: i love the start of the school-year (the sudden drive to try super hard and buy planners and put on real-people-clothes), but i don’t like that it is so blazing hot here (and deceptively so! the mornings always disguise themselves as ‘jacket-weather’ then BAM! you feel silly in your cardigan!). swoob/swass/swustache…they are all happening. on the daily. so that’s fun.
:: getting married is the best thing i have ever done, and i really do love my last name (i feel distinguished!) but guys! getting married is hard work! not just the before, but the after too. mostly i am referring to the social security office…i have found my h-e-double-chicken-legs on earth! i previously thought it was cafe rio on a busy day but no. this beats it out ten times over.  longest. line. ever.
:: the smell of cookies could honestly just kill me dead. i’m not really a cookie person but the aroma reminds me of my home and my mom and other such things. but the whole baking thing? what is therapeutic about it?! no seriously, what?!
:: i like when my jeffrey brings me home a delicious cubby’s salad for dinner butttt…no wait. no buts. all love.
p.s. thanks maggie for the idea!


labor day.

Monday, September 3, 2012

guess what’s a kind of fun game that we were forced into? having no money. no, seriously…no money.
when we got married, we joined our financial forces (…my bank statement was -33 cents…oops…!) and opened up a new bank account. we ordered fancy new cards and set up secret passwords and signed a bunch of papers…and then two weeks later, we found out that our cards were sent to a random person who 1. guess our passwords and 2. spent $600 on philly cheese steaks and other some such things. long story short(er), our bank account is now frozen and under investigation…great password, no?
so for labor day, we were in search of something free. and mildly entertaining. but mostly free.
after much internet-surfing, we decided on oktoberfest at snowbird; a festival centered almost entirely on sauerkraut and bratwursts…my type of party!
two hours and some serious wrong-turns later, we weren’t at oktboerfest. or even snowbird. but we were in pretty brighton, utah and brighton, utah has public restrooms so brighton, utah it was! 
we determined there are about three things to do in brighton, utah for free (brighton, utah is a firsty-lasty, don’t you think? kind of like joss stone or jay zee). using the restroom is one of the three.
so romantic drive through the canyon it was! and oh! was it romantic! we were hand-in-hand, reminiscing about our shotgun courtship and old arrested development episodes…
and then a wasp flew in through the window and landed in my cleavage and stung me repeatedly.
the end.
p.s. happy one month to jeff and i! what a feat, no? we had a waffle feast this morning to celebrate! …and also to eat seeing as we really only have bisquick left in our pantry. fingers crossed our account unfreezes!
p.p.s. is jeff’s new haircut kind of hilter youthy? morgan told him so and i am kind of on the fence. except for i am more on hitler-youthy side.
p.p.p.s. happy labor day!

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