yep, i'm pregnant(!!!!!!!!!!).

WELL HELLO! now i feel like i can finally blog. i wanted to keep my pregnancy under wraps for as loooooong as possible + felt like anything i ever drafted out felt so...maternal. and transparent. it was like, 'today is great + I AM GROWING A PERSON + i love diet coke. kardashians.'

but now i'm here! and pregnant!
i am so, so excited + already so, so protective. in my dream world, i would escape to an island + have a viewing ceremony three years later + everyone's hands would be thoroughly sanitized + my kid would probably still be in a glass case. IT IS WEIRD. I KNOW. and no, it's not because 'i am ashamed, or something?' -- thank you stranger on a plane for asking. how dare you. also please excuse me because i have to pee for the sixteenth time on this red eye flight. nope. honestly, i just felt like it was SO important + i was SO excited + whenever i actually care about something, i have a r e a l l y hard time talking about it.

it's all a complex, I KNOW. i could tell a perfect stranger about the one time i *may or may not have* had a complete stomach explosion while driving my brother-in-law's car 70 mph in exercise pants. but ask me what i want to do in five years or about my family/marriage/religion? crickets.

this all a long way to say : nope, not ashamed(????? still so floored at that comment). in fact! SO EXCITED! like, i think about being a mom + what is the best stroller? am i eating enough? can you order hand sanitizer by the truck load? what should i name him? what is he going to be like? is he going to be cute? will he like me? how do i discipline? these are my thoughts. all day long. i. can't. wait. i am so lame.

...but also do you want to hear about the time i had a complete stomach explosion while driving my brother-in-law's car...?

i'm ENGAGED!

after one full month without my ring, it's baaaaaaack!
jeff picked it up from the shop last night + immediately fell down on to one knee and proposed.
just kidding.
it was 11 p.m. and i was like,
hey did you get my ring today? 

and he was like,
oh yeah! it's on the windowsill.
...
d'ya want me to go get it?
...
then i was like,
PROPOSE! propose again!

and he was like,
hey b, will you marry me?
...aaaaaaaaand?
i have a ring! you're great!
...aaaaaaand?
let's float at the lake again! 
?

and then like a modern day topanga, i proposed myself. to myself. it was a beautiful moment.
...and then we watched walking dead for the rest of the night.

and now you know the story!
but also i will miss my temporary tat.

happy july second // *almost* THREE YEAR OLDS

so, totally not a selfie.

- - - - - - -

also can you believe jeff + i are approaching three years? 

i like three-year-old us.

sure, we are dinged-up + chubbier + have been through THE ROUGH PATCH (vol. 1 of 3,203,447, or so i've heard) but hey! three-year-old us has more fun + more depth + less 'what are you thinking about?'-ing. because i freaking hate that question. hahahah. 

round of applause for shotgun weddings everywhere! 

...you are welcome for the most romantic sentiments about marriage + love + other some such things.

you didn't expect much from me, right? 

WHAT UP MAY!!!! // the past month.

HI GUYS! it's brooke here, remember me? i'm reporting live from moscow, idaho where i'm currently sitting under three blankets downing my third diet coke of the morning + debating whether or not to move today. you know, tough stuff.

this past month has been GOOD. or maybe it was just that april was so bad? have i said that before? well let me tell you again : april was so bad. but may! may was so good! may is the month where i am reminded that i am a sane + functioning person most usually...sometimes + that i actually do like my life. oh. okay.

ANYWAYS MAY!

i started the month running a half marathon with my nikki-friend. it was very spur-of-the-moment + we were remarkably untrained but it was so fun. seriously. at one point nikki peed on the sidewalk + that will forever by a favorite memory, hahaha. we kept a pace. was it a good one? meh. but it was a pace! and we finished! and we got a giant medal that i keep in my carry-on suitcase. in fact, i pulled it out a few days ago at our hotel just to show it off to morgan. it's whatever.

we went to morgan's restaurant in park city, zoom, and shut. the. place. down. i think i'm still full (just kidding. i'm not. i just ate like, thirty five pretzel thins -- bring on the gluten headache, y'all!). i'm talking three appetizers, entrees, and four desserts. that's what's up. morgan gave us a tour of the kitchen + we watched some mild kitchen drama unfold + i felt like i was on some reality tv show. so basically : all my wildest dreams came true.

avery has been living in my basement (hahah) while she is in transition from student housing to married housing. hi roommate! it has been fun having her + I AM SO PUMPED FOR GEORGIA! watch out ATL (horrible snapchat as proof. you're welcome.)

tandem biking! it's hard! morgan + i (WOW MORGAN! we hung out a LOT this month!) rented a tandem bike one afternoon + MOBBED down the canyon. haha. i felt like i was in a parade/a human centipede. highly suggest it.

i have decided i want to start wearing higher shoes + skirts. so there is that. my first attempt : seven inch clogs. i hardly survived one hour of church before complaining. HOW DO PEOPLE DO THIS ALL DAY? beauty is pain...but do clogs cancel out any attempt at femininity anyways? LET ME KNOW. exciting times, i know.

i had a wedding in washington last weekend (it was so pretty + the couple was the best ever ever) + jeff + morgan tagged along for the ride. side note : jeff sat in the backseat the whole time? it's fine. we're fine. it's fine. anways. washington! weddings! jeff in the backseat!

NOW! we are in idaho. well, actually we are back in washington for another wedding BUT our home base in idaho right now. i just bought a five dollar fishing hat at walmart today so yeah, you could say things are going well. ha. i have reverted back to 'high school brooke' so i have stopped doing laundry + wearing pants + am basically useless. unfortunately my 'high school brooke' legs have not returned but i'll keep you updated.

THE END. for now. that was photo heavy, I AM AWARE.

engage-a-versary

- - - - - -

i am terrible at remembering dates.
seriously. i only remember jeff's birthday because it is one month + a day before mine + frantically search for our wedding date any time i'm asked (...is it august 3rd or 4th?). BUT! miraculously i remembered our engage-a-versary this year + even more miraculously scored jazz tickets for that night (thank you kenna. you come with all the perks.). THUS : engage-a-versary!

most fittingly, we stuffed our faces with burgers + fries + diet coke + then waddled our way into the jazz game where i spent most my time suggesting ways to up the players' appearances (more facial hair! tribal tattoo! fade!). i think the jazz won? i promise i love sports. truly.

anyways, happy engage-a-versary three weeks later, jeffrey! so happy you popped the question. and asked my dad for permission. that had me sweating.

p.s.
guys.
i've been to TWO nba games in one month + i feel like freakin' beyonce.
I HAVE ARRIVED!
(...or have a wonderfully gracious almost sis-in-law)

p.p.s.
i candidly told jeff before we got married that i had like, virutally no perks. besides an especially wonderful family + knowledge of all things idaho/celebrity gossip/real housewives. also i kill at the star performer section of cranium. that counts for something, right?

valentine's with my valentine //

- - - - - -

Jeff Stapleton planned our Valentine's this year + proved that he so, so gets me.
He reserved us a racquetball court where we played a game chock full of sweat, blood, profanity + lots of rule-Googling. I assumed the other people playing on the courts next to us were just as into their game as we were but when I walked out to get a drink, I quickly realized we were the only ones taking it seriously + throwing my racquet against the wall out of frustration might have been a bit much. But what is Valentine's day without a little competition + lots of shots to the throat?!

Woof.

We walked home + got a giant soda + ordered a sickening amount of cheap sushi for a 4:30 dinner. I'm going to say it : sushi is one of those things that you shouldn't try to be frugal about. You know? Because when it is bad, it is bad. All bolded. We overate + felt sick + ended the night watching YouTube videos (I watched Too Many Cooks for the first time ever. I would like 11 minutes of my life back now) + Friends.

Early dinner, soda, semi-justified cursing + an all out war of a competition : my type of Valentine's Day. Three cheers, Jeffrey!

LOVE IS --- plus some life ramblings.

In the spirit of the month of love quickly approaching (tomorrow), here's a post about love. Also HI! Hello! I am back from my short little internet-vacation. We had both sides of our family in town last week + all my attention went to them. And to Dance Moms. Please, I beg of you, if you see a shooting star tonight or have an extra birthday candle, please please please wish that Netflix will put another season out. My life is not the same without Abby Lee Miller's hoarse threats. Also I am pretty sure hell will be the observatory of the ALDC with Chloe's mom ranting. It's like, Maddie is the best. Get over it.

Now enough about dance mom, on to love.

LOVE IS :

...waiting in the Taco Bell line for five extra minutes because they gave you a hard shell chicken taco instead of a soft shell beef. Also love is driving in the car with Taco Bell even though it makes you dry heave.

...silently watching Elizabethtown for the third time + refraining to make fun of it. (IT IS MY FAVORITE MOVIE! Why does everyone hate it?!)

...rewinding the Friends intro because your TV-partner missed the claps.

...supporting all of the many epiphanies + wild ideas that midnight and too much Diet Dr. Pepper bring (I should be an air stewardess! I should take improv classes! I should be a group aerobics instructor! I should die my hair blonde! I should try out for Survivor!) (p.s. yes, these are all life-paths I have furiously Googled until 5 a.m. then given up on. Ha.)

...pretending to know anything about video games + computer science + football.

...replacing the last Diet Coke in the fridge with a new one. HALLELUJAH!

TA-DAAAAA!

p.s. A PSA :

Jeff + I saw Into the Woods a few weeks ago. HOLY SHOOT. Guys, it was bad. I love me some Meryl Streep and Chris Pine and Emily Blunt Anna Kenderick...wait, actually why was this so bad? It's too much of a good thing. It really was awful though. I was half-expecting the lady giant to be Queen Latifah and then it would loop into the movie Taxi or something. Like all one big joke intro? The end. Happy February. And to ALL, a good night.

Marriage tips for the masses : Keep yo' girlfriends.

I think I've written about this before, but whatever.
I've been married for a whole two and a half years. Practically five years, almost a decade. Almost ;). I don't know everything about marriage. At all. But I know a few things + am fascinated by the whole institution itself. Like! Think about it! You are picking your teammate for life. It's wildly daunting but also quite simple. You know? Like, you're a person, they're a person + you're just navigating a life together. I think I've really stripped all the romance out of marriage but that's what I'm here for, right? (also, after re-reading, I must confirm : I am not high right now. I feel like this all sounds like stoner-esque wisdom)

Anyways.
Here's one of my unsolicited marriage tips for the masses : keep yo' girlfriends + make time for them.

This may seem so obvious, but hey!

Before I begin : I am totally happy in my marriage. Jeff is truly one of my best friends. He's the chronically positive + calm Jerry to my sometimes frantic, often erratic Elaine. Or something. That metaphor might be a stretch. Maybe more the Phil to my Claire? My family thinks Jeff is a Phil. Which I adore.

Anyways. At the end of the day, he's a guy. Jerry, Phil, Jeff. Guys.
He doesn't really care about my nail polish or understand why I watch fifteen hours of vlogs on the YouTube or want to gossip about Andi + Josh breaking up (actually, he did have some good insight on that one). He doesn't truly enjoy mindlessly wandering Target + I can see the fear in his eyes when we walk into Forever21.
But my girlfriends? They get it.

I read in The Happiness Project this summer that a woman's loneliness has nothing to do with her interaction with males (her husband, boyfriend, male attention) and instead has everything to do with how much interaction she is getting with other women. Girl power, am I right?

Take yesterday, for instance. I went to get smoothies + chat with my friends Jen + Morgan. We pounded our smoothies + harassed the teen boy working there + then flopped on Jen's couch + dissected our lives and insecurities and airport horror stories and sexual blunders (ha). I left feeling so full and exhausted and uplifted. Good girlfriends polish you off and then send you back into life. You know?

This is just one long way of saying that while your husband/boyfriend/lover-pants can be your everything, they can't fill every void in your life. Or maybe this is all one long way of saying that lesbians have been right all along. Take it as you will.

THE END.

Marriage vows. In my head.

Today I mentally updated the marriage-vows-in-my-head to say, 

"I promise to never drag you to a Zumba class against your will."

(but I will force you to watch every season of the Bachelor with me)

(and post gushy things all over the Internet)

That's all.

This post brought to you by a 10:30 p.m. caffeinated drink + an empty movie theater.

REPORT CARD : 

Hundred Foot Journey : B+
Smuggled in treats : B (too much cranberry in my Diet Coke, rookie mistake on my part)
Jeff's mustache : D-
Jeff's fishy face : A+ and then some

COMMENTS :

Empty movie theaters are the only way to roll for
hormone-ridden 14 year old couples + highly narcissistic front-cammin' married people alike.
Also that popcorn was like, six dollars. You're welcome, Jeff Stapleton.
Also the movie made me extremely hungry. Will someone make me
some Indian food, please and thanks?!

our first date.

my first date with jeff stapleton was to a basketball game + grocery store. in retrospect, this date screams jeff stapleton : resourceful, simple, breezy, charming. and craftily cheap, that too. i used my sports pass to get in + the ice cream cone cost a mere fifty cents. he almost made me share him with him, which was like dude. they're fifty cents? + also sharing dairy products is nasty. 

he dropped me off shockingly early + white knuckled the steering wheel as he bid me adieu. i was confused. he texted me fifteen minutes later + said it was the best date ever, exclamation point. i was more confused.

then, poof! we were married. 

a little of what i've been up to...and i happy sunday, because, duh.

- - - - -
sorry for the absence, 
but i'm excited to announce something exciting...

baby stapleton coming june 2017! ha. gotcha. i'm only kidding people. last time i did a pregnancy hoax, i had a bearded friend of my jeffrey touching my stomach ten months later. nope sir, that is just a steady diet of tortilla chips + peanut butter you are feeling...

but i have been up to...things! like turning twenty one, for instance. my twenty first was what dreams were made of, people! i had dinner with my friends + a rumbi bowl with my jeffrey (and his brother in tow, hi shane!) + wandered target with a large soda in my hand for no good reason at all. dreams! also jeff woke me up with ninety eight balloons piled on top of me. have i ever told you balloons give me the heebies? just one of the many things me and oprah have in common...

i also got a new job. you might be wondering if i get a new job every two weeks to which i answer yes, my resume is actually a fold out pamphlet at this point but like, isn't that what part time jobs are all about?! any hoots, i'm a substitute. and i'm the 95% certain i am worst. i just sit there + try to get the kids to gossip with me because why was karen crying in first period, anyways?! 
anyways, a story : i subbed a first grade class this wednesday before i left (oh, hi from california where it is currently sixty something degrees + people are wearing ugg boots? why?) and the teacher decided to make a 'naughty + nice' list. the kids on the nice list were able to go to the class christmas party but the kids on the naughty list had to go to the library + feel their anxiety bubble up and explode inside of them. people! these are six year olds! mothers were lined up at the door explaining how their child had cried themselves to sleep the night before + children were bawling their eyes out...oi vey. it was a treat! also hat tip to the teacher for leaving that drama bomb + taking cover for the explosion. ha.

in other words, dear utah : i am adding oodles to your school system. ;)
(i am not actually the worst. in fact,  a 16 year old told me i was the best sub she ever had after i told her i shopped at forever twenty one. it's a small feat?)

onwards! my sister came to visit. when she comes, it's slightly magical. it might be because the whole week is caffeine shakes + sugar highs coupled with little sleep + punchy music. anyways, we had fun. she brings out a side of me that i usually leave tucked away (...this ain't about to be a ciara-like confession, here) + i find myself caring about the kardashians + high school drama a whole lot more + wearing obscene hats that say 'thug wife' on them. it's fun.
also, related : the amount of camo in my wardrobe increased substantially after her visit? hrmph?

like i said before, now i'm in california. we finished all of our christmas shopping yesterday remarkably. i say remarkably because the lines were crazy + we had panda express for lunch. i actually felt my brain throbbing at one point. what do they put in that stuff?! we are hoping to enjoy all that california has to offer for the next week + a half...and mostly just marvel over having a fully stocked pantry because, duh.


happy sunday, people!

unsolicited marriage advice : find your happy, girl!

- - - - - - - - -

you guys, i've been married a year now and am almost able to purchase alcohol // adopt a child // be elected as mayor (or all three! at the same time!)... most obviously this warrants me to pretend that i am fully of sage-y, marital wisdom. i've decided to start sharing my *completely unsolicited* marital advice. take it for what you will! some of it comes from my own personal experiences, some comes from my family // friends, and some comes from romantic comedies and real housewives of orange county. 

let's all get our eye rolls out now+ vote brooke stapleton for mayor in two thousand fifteen!

husbands are great for many things like killing spiders (...this is a lie. i am chief spider killer in this house!), telling you that no, the color yellow doesn't make you look like you have jaundice but does make you look like a giant parakeet, and encouraging ranty yelp posts. but here's a secret : they are not magic. i mean...sure. they can bring the magic now and then (heh, heh! get it?), but they themselves are not magic. fwhaaaa?!

let me explain : in my marriage + family class (what? it's interesting + i needed s'more credits. put down your judgy eyebrows!), we talked about how many people, especially young people, find themselves disappointed by marriage. though their spouse//partner may be a loyal + loving person, they find it all a little bit ... magic-less.

our teacher talked about how many people get married honestly + truly believing that their spouse is some sort of magician that will get rid of all of their problems once they get married. after they say i do, they will find themselves with all the drive in the world to mend their relationship with their sister. or after they say i do, they will magically grow strong testimony of the church of flying waffles + canadian bacon. or, most especially, once they say i do, all their personal problems + insecurities will disappear.

truth : jeff makes me feel like ten million dollars. truly! he is so complimentary of me + is as supportive as an entire cheer squad through all my fleeting interests + endeavors. he has helped me to like the things that i didn't love about myself before (wide hips are great for birthing! thick thighs can earn me a speed skating scholarship...maybe! scraggly hair is...i have a great personality?) + makes me feel appreciated five million times over.

*but*
i still have my issues! i still get mega-depressed after i eat big meals + still whip out ten million self-bashing if i catch a look at my reflection on a monday in an old navy dressing room mirror (mondays and i just don't love each other + old navy's lighting makes me look tired ). i am still wildly inpatient + still have no compassion for people who whine about referees. these things haven't gone away. if you aren't happy with yourself before you get married, you probably won't be happy later. eh? eh?

so, my unsolicited advice : love yourself first. get to know yourself! i've done very few things right in my life, but one thing i can mildly brag about is that i feel like i knew myself before jeff + genuinely liked myself before jeff. i loved my own company. like, a sickening amount. adding him to the mix just made it a giant love-fest of narcissism and selfies. a truly beautiful union. i know who i am as a person + know who i am as a wife. i don't feel like i've lost any bit of my identity, rather just added to it! a husband//boyfriend//partner//corgi won't make you happy, just happier. you have to find your happy first.
and i realize that last paragraph was one long, high-pitched toot of my own horn. deafening, really.
find your happy, girl!


now tell me how much you disagree in the comments. or don't. please don't. 
and i promise i only take myself mildly seriously. so laugh condescendingly if you must. 

- - - - - - - - - 

an uneventful saturday pretending to be eventful through bullet points.

- - - - - - - - - 

days that start with cancelled plans are sort of glamorous. we had our alarms set + car filled with gas for an adventure to logan to hang with jennie + company, but the weather had an agenda + foiled any dream involving a sunny day spent outside up north. by nine thirty, we were scratching our heads + asking what the heck should we do with our day?!

it was mostly uneventful. i took two naps + spent most of the day in leggings. but this is a blog about spontaneity + pizzazz + look how fun we are. i want our kids digging through the archives of this space on the internet + seeing that their now-balding parents never wasted a saturday. never! so, by the use of bullet points, here is our mostly uneventful saturday pretending to be eventful through the crafty use of bullet points. ha!

the camera loves me!

yesterday : 

• went to the morning yoga class. flung myself against a wall attempting to do a headstand. stifled my giggles for the rest of class.
• arrived at costco before the samples were set up. walked the frozen aisles with my stomach grumbling. also, let it be noted, jeff wrapped up half of his chicken bake because my at-home cooking is that impressive. 
• sat in melissa's kitchen + spewed out unsolicited marriage advice. as one does. 
• broke my sugar fast with my morgan-friend + ate some apple pie + ice cream. instant headache! instant sugar anger! it was all very monumental.
• scouted out locations for that photo side of my life. mostly just drove aimlessly around spanish fork looking for a suitable bathroom. 
• sat on morgan's couch with her + jen and talked about jen's newly married life + morgan's date this tuesday that i am so excited about that i am posting it on social media. ha! 
• went to a pie-a-betes party for my token diabetic friend, callie (click that link! read her blog! it's so funny!). games included 'diabetic celebrities', 'sculpt callie's favorite things', and 'diabetic fact or crap.' remarkably, i didn't eat the pie there. also, i almost kicked jeff off of our team for pictionary because he chose to draw his picture in neon yellow so no one could see it. what?! what?!
• applied to be a cashier at winco + told jeff to double-cross his fingers + pray that i get the job. 
• ...started worrying about the future of my life if i am asking someone to pray that i get a job as a cashier at a grocery store (...but ever since win a date with tad hamilton, i've kind of fantasized of scanning people's bulk cereal + milk. cross your fingers for me!!).
• took full advantage of our free month subscription to amazon prime + watched all season two of workaholics. not that i condone that show. ;)

aren't we fun?! we are fun. 

- - - - - - - -

arm tickles.

i dole out my love fairly easily. i mean, i generally love people until they give me a good reason not to (like donning a foam finger to the vma's...and even then...) + will love any food you throw my way + ...actually, no. this is all foiled. i really don't like cats. onwards! i feel like i've been in love many times, but in many different ways + capacities. there was the, you play football + i need a date for homecoming! type of love that somehow lasted long past homecoming and the you're moving soon + i care about you enough to hang on till april for good face type of love and the you are really funny and have a moped! type of love that transitioned into you are a good friend type of love that quickly fizzled into you are the only person i know at this particular moment in life that watches workaholics + finds costco exciting type of love. 

it's all very romantic + rambly, no?

but i was never in-love until jeffrey stapleton.

oh, heavens. 

i remember the first time that i realized i was in love with him. we were watching we bought a zoo with all of his roommates in his tiny apartment + were squished together on a couch. he was wearing a dress shirt, tie, and jeans which i noted and found...interesting? what exactly was he doing? (he later admitted he was channeling joseph gordon-levitt in 500 days of summer and didn't quite achieve the look he was going for) it was endearing + weird all at the same time.

right in the middle of the movie, after matt damon turned distressed father turned zookeeper gave his son the speech about "20 seconds of insane courage", i lurched for his hand. oh the stomach flips! oh the excitement! he warmly greeted my hand with his hand + proceeded to tickle my arm. tickle my arm! my arm had never been tickled before! praise the land + the sea + this joseph gordon-levitt, arm tickling man next to me. i was in love. i had to be.

it was early on in our whirlwind relationship, but i felt so loved + cared after + why was he wearing a tie again? it was romantic in a sort of jeffrey stapleton type of way. 

and for the record, in the movie of my life at this very scene i request miss independent by kelly clarkson to be playing in the background. it's all so fitting. 

the end. 

the weekend jeff ran a half marathon?

if you follow me on instagram, you might have seen that jeff + i ran a half marathon this last weekend. originally, my brother was supposed to run it with me (...well, originally we were supposed to run a full marathon...but that's for another day, right?) but he had "a work meeting" and was "super bummed" that he couldn't. that boob! ;) my mom suggested talking jeff into doing it -- perhaps suggest that i would do all his chores for the rest of the year? actually cook something? pull out some crazy sexual favors?

alas! he ran it. well, hobbled + wobbled it. but we finished. let this be a lesson about the power of positive thinking and also an indication about my skills in sexual favors. ha! only kidding! i'm like twelve. let's just end this whole paragraph with a cyber side-eye and a big, fat, collective push for me to have my own cosmopolitan column. ha! but really...

please assume we are a fitness-savvy couple now. mostly because we aren't. 

other than that, we spent the weekend lounging around and making plans to run s'more! because when you are stuffing your face with in n' out, you kind of forget how dreadful 13.1 miles really is. *let it be noted: we, especially jeff stapleton, have been dangling around the whole half marathon and thirteen point ONE! miles thing. it's obnoxious and kind of reminds me of how my jordan-friend would always, always clarify that he was going to a.p. calculus and had to write an essay for his accelerated english class (hi jordan!). 

vegabonds (see what i did there?)

all last week i was bursting at the seams. i had planned a list minute getaway to vegas for the semester break. jeff had been putting in some nauseatingly long hours at the computer lab and i was anxious to steal him away for some undivided attention. well, mostly undivided -- our hotel room had cable and boy, have we been missin' out!

when we were driving home, we realized that we did basically everything we do in provo: feed my fountain soda addiction, go grocery shopping, walk around aimlessly, see dollar movies we really aren't interested (but warm bodies! that was good!). but we did it vegas-style so that counts for something, no?

anyways, here's a buttload of pictures. like, a buttload. feel free to scroll.

we stayed at a timeshare a bit off the strip. i think we were the youngest people there by, like, 95 years. 

...eh, we are messy. also i grocery shop like such a woman. poor, poor jeff.

cable, y'all. 

we were matching! in bro tanks? ...what happens in vegas?

the boiling crab! we got a pound of crawfish and destroyed them. i am still not entirely sure if you were supposed to eat the brains? do they have brains? 

we explored a bit and found this sweet park with a flash flood...precautionary...pool? i don't really know what it was. but it was sweet. feel free to roll your eyes at the hipster vibes of these pictures. if it's any consolation  we were chatting about the kardashians the entire time (did anyone see their tell-all with ryan seacrest?!).

the dirty dr. pepper! like, what?! mind. blown. 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

viva! las vegas!