an evening jog with brooke.

Tuesday, September 25, 2012


yesterday evening i set out for an after-work job (if i give it a title, it sounds like it happens often? right?) with a lofty goal: eight miles. i could do it! these four-mile MAXIMUM legs of mine could handle it. what's an extra four miles but an EXTRA FOUR MILES, anyways? i felt like the universe was cheering me on.  

immediately as started jogging, i was feeling it. i felt like blake lively running on the beach in sisterhood of the traveling pants (...why is your hair down, blake?!). a mile into it, i had to go to the bathroom. like, HAD TO GO. i ducked into a nearby harmon's, sampled some stinky cheese, did my business with minimal effort (aren't those the best?), and was back on my merry way. with my hair up. and i was feeling it.

a few minutes passed and i came across a stable full of horses and grew uncharacteristically excited over the whole thing. the horses, the cheese, the stable, me jogging...something was in the air. i made the loudest kissing sounds i could muster up and yelled a few times "heeeeeeeeey, horsey! horsey! horsey!"

...i don't even like horses? why did i do that? do horses even like the kissy sound? (...i submit not...horses one, two, and three were completely un-phased. horse four expressed annoyance in a horsey way...)

i evaluated the current state of my sanity for the next twenty minutes. boy, did time crawl...

and then i was back! i was feeling it! hello, pretty dandelion! how are you doing today, tree with red leaves? high-five, oncoming jogger!

yes. i high-fived a jogger? i don't know what brought it upon me. i just stuck my hand out, gave him a few head nods and a sheepish smile, and slapped his hand hard. WHY DID I DO THAT? i think he gossiped with the horses about me after...

another twenty minutes wondering if i was still mentally sound. i decided conditionally? not around horses or beefy joggers or super-sales at the old navy?

but i was still feeling it. boy! was i feeling it! i was audibly huffing and puffing and yipping and pipping. eight miles! i can do this! 

and then it began to rain. no, pour! 

at first i was loving it. oncoming cars were staring at the crazy girl running, thinking about how dedicated i was? how fit i must be? boy, is she motivated? i splashed a few times in the puddles for a special effect as if to announce to all the warm passengers: "I AM LOVING THIS, oncoming cars! I LOVE THE RAIN! THIS WAS A GREAT IDEA AND I DON'T REGRET THIS! WEEEE!"

...the novelty of the whole thing quickly faded as i froze and my sunless tanner (i miss you, free tanning at waikiki beach!)(having a native husband always makes you feel pale!)(i know, like...i know...) dripped dramatically down my face and unto my shirt. i was like a commercial for gatorade, with my colored sweat. maybe chocolate flavored? or foolish flavored, limited edition?

the universe was not on my side that evening. no, the universe was laughing at me and my streaked tan. 

thankfully jeff came to the rescue and picked me up a mile away from our house. i hadn't realized how far i had ran due to my insane behavior. 

"i honestly don't know who that person was for the past seven miles," i told jeff as he stared at my streaked face."i high-fived a jogger?"

"that's serious!"

...and then i took a warm bath and finished the last season of 30 rock and came to my senses: blake lively ran with her hair down because she was feeling it, too! i'm normal! 






2 comments:

  1. Ba ha ha ha!! You are a nut! The most I've ever done to a passing jogger is blurt out good morning. Oh I love you!

    ReplyDelete
  2. have i ever told you that your blog is one of my favorites? well it is. your writing skills are phenomenal brooke. please never stop blogging.

    ReplyDelete

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