9/11.

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i remember the television was on. the television was never on in the mornings at my house; my older brother clay ruined that for us when he fell into  a deep, crusty-eyed trance watching cartoons and was late for school. but the television was on and my parents were frozen. my mother waved my siblings off to school and i walked over to my neighbors house; this was routine. this was normal.

when i banged on the front door, no one answered. i let myself in and found them in the back, gathered on their parents' bed staring at the television. i remember feeling so young and so confused -- i wanted to feel sad! but why? what was going on?

i remember walking into school and feeling it again -- the sudden halting of life. i knew that something was going on that was bigger than me, bigger than the silly morning announcements over the intercom or the attendance that needed to be taken. but i didn't know what was happening or why it was happening -- i just knew it was big.

my teacher tried to explain everything to us but it all seemed unreal. it didn't seem like it was applicable to me and my small-town family at all; when was this going to end? when was life going to leave this moment and move on?

now -- eleven years later -- i understand the impact that it had on my town, thousands of miles away, and all the lives that were sacrificed and effected. i still remember it; the brief freezing of time and of life for those few hours that morning. i am now able to understand the events of 9/11, but still struggle with the 'why' of the whole situation. i am so grateful for this country of ours and that i am able to be here to remember today.