if you were to marry a jeff stapleton (pt. II)

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if you were to marry a jeff stapleton, expect:

1. rolling your eyes hard while suppressing laughter when he blasts 'the lazy song' by bruno mars for the fifth morning in a row and declares that for some reasons he just feels like he shouldn't do anything today? maybe just lay here in bed? he doesn't feel like picking up the phone, leave a message at the tone? 
2. dinners that make you scratch your head (with gratitude?). tuna melts + orange smoothies! chicken dumplings + steak! spaghetti + sushi!
3. made-up songs for everything and anything, mostly to the tune of 'stronger' by kanye west.
4. quotes. lots and lots of quotes. be it inspirational star wars ramblings or a text patterned after an update on gossip girl (my new text-name is 'b' -- i'm mostly okay with it...) or vague saturday night live quotes from a mediocre sketch. 
5. humble brags. they're cute?
6. furrowed eyebrows that will make you think for the first few months of marriage that he is angry, but really just indicate that he is focusing. le duh. you'll usually spot them when he is cleaning, studying, baking, or dancing. 
7. the latest bed-time in the history of man. holy, night owl! 
8. jealousy over his long + lean legs. if only! crossing my fingers that our kids aren't cursed with my tree trunks and dive into the gold mine of a gene pool that is jeff stapleton.
9. wearing out your welcome hard. jeff stapleton has trouble ending conversations + leaving; he hasn't embraced + mastered the irish exit quite like i have (i don't return from most bathroom breaks ;))
10. lots of smiles + head bobbing, because he's just happy to be there! 

p.s. you lucky dog! jeff stapletons are a rare and wonderful breed. 

read pt. one here.