children are our future...and thanks to me, they will never know what time it is.

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

as i mentioned before, i got a new job as a teacher's aide at a nearby elementary school and oh, how i love it. i love the kids and, quite plainly, they love me. at least i hope? the girls are class A suck-ups which my self-esteem loves and the boys are the cutest and craziest and, often times, the smelliest. also some of them are going through puberty extra early which is hilarious -- the other day a boy who has a big fat crush on anyone of the opposite sex whisper-yelled to his friend loud enough for everyone to hear, "ouch, dude. my facial hair is hurting me."

you too?

today was the first day back since spring break. the teacher briefly prepped me on the lesson today and handed me a giant clock and some worksheets. 

"just review with them how to read time. they are really struggling with it."

them too? 

i may appear infallible, i know, but  reading a clock is my kryptonite (speaking of! thanks to 90's radio on pandora, i listened to that song this morning -- thank you, three doors down). i've never been good at it. i'm convinced i was coincidentally on vacation or at home faking sick every time they would teach it at school. 

but i can do this! i'm better now? right? 

i stood up in front of the class and...why are they miraculously giving me their utmost attention now?! of all times?!...started to give a long-winded speech about the importance of telling time. i wound the clock around a few times and had them repeat after me five o'clock! six o'clock! six thirty! ...what was i even saying? why were they feeding into this jazz?

i taught them some backwards way about how to figure out elapsed time. you just...think of it like money? and count backwards? then divide...and you'll eventually get there... and kept spinning that blasted clock. 

...i ended the lesson with a shrug and advised them all to get digital clocks, like now. if children are our future, i just really screwed 'em up. and this is my public apology. 

(and plus, to cure cancer, you really don't need to know the difference from 6 o'clock and 12:30, right?)


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