the mysterious yet illustrious ways of a velour tracksuit.

Thursday, April 18, 2013


let it be known: my mid-march resolution to kick diet coke altogether quickly faded into a resolution to lessen the amount of diet cokes i drink a day (maybe get the 32 oz. instead of the 44 oz.?) which quickly faded into a big, fat screw it.

after four hours of sleep and a heated discussion about the state of chuck and blair, i woke up a bit slap-happy. everything was bright, everything was cheery, and good heavens! has six a.m. always felt this good? before getting to school, i headed to my most-favorite will's pit stop to get a diet dr. pepper. right as i sleepily got out of my car, a fancy car pulled up right beside me and nearly ran over my foot. no matter. onwards!

i went straight to the fountain drink station to fill up my refill cup and stole a few sips or five. while my face was in my cup, i felt a tap on my shoulder and whipped my head around. shoot. i knew sip-stealing would eventually catch up to me...

"i nearly killed you this morning!" said an old man in a matching velour sweat suit. it was forest green.
"ha. no worries. it's early! i hardly noticed because i was on such a mission to get my soda-fix."
"you have to get the diet coke + a little squirt of real coke. they have the best stuff here."
"yes! the flavor to fizz ratio is unprecedented!* i always tell my friends about it!"
"best in town! their ice is lacking though."

my stars. i stared at him as if i had fallen in love + met my idol + realized i hadn't brushed my teeth this morning, shoot? to be retired! in a velour sweat suit! chatting up a young girl about flavor to fizz ratios and pebbled ice! to be retired. to boldly and proudly wear a matching sweat suit in forest green, for pete's sake.

he peeled out in his fancy car and gave me a wave. did i just meet an angel? do angels wear velour? can i be retired already? i stood there breathless and dreamed up my life as a retiree. mostly it involved lots of sweatsuits and reclining bikes.
...then i realized i was about fifty years away from any sort of retirement and thirty minutes late to work. oops.

cheers! to velour sweatsuits!

*i didn't actually use the word 'unprecedented.' i don't make intelligent sentences until after ten a.m., thank you.

3 comments:

  1. "Do angels wear velour?" My favorite line. EVER.

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  2. I always feel happy and cheerful whenever i go out in my velour suit. It suits my personality and gives me all comfort.

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  3. So, after leaving you all hanging with the mother of all scheduling dilemmas (and I just know you've been on tenterhooks waiting for news on both fronts), followed by my long radio silence, it would probably be easy for you to assume everything went disastrously belly up, nothing worked out, and that's why I've been so quiet and sad. Chandals

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