all i wanted to do was give her chopped up meat loaf! (also: ikea!)

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i went to ikea alone today...

never again.

yep, it was still soul-sucking. perhaps even worse? maybe it was due to the fact that my mom requested that i pick-up the world's most awkwardly shaped furniture + home goods for her. i was smackin' aisles of succulents + bumpin' into people left and right. also it was twenty minutes before closing and none of the employees really cared to help me find 'fyrkantig' and 'grundtal' (dang swedes.)

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in other news, i don't know quite what to make of this yet; i kind of want to crawl under my covers and laugh until i gasp for air over it but also it's sort of sad but mostly it just makes me think huh? why do these things seem to follow me? 

a few weeks ago i was emailed and told that i had earned my very own meals-on-wheels route. fist pump! it was a small feat for me; especially in the volunteer-dense happy valley i live in. dang utahans. anyways, today i delivered the route for the first time on my very own. oh, happy praises! i was wearing a tunic that hid the actual shape of my body and leggings that are actually running pants, or at least i'm mostly sure? oh! and let it be known! i ran a comb through my hair! 

sue was the first person on my list -- sue! sweet, sweet sue! who can't have dairy and needs her meat pre-cut! i bet she'll greet me with fruitcakes and antique lampshades and old-lady smell! 

but then i got there. dudes, there is no way to properly tell this story. let me just cut to it. 

SHE WAS DEAD. or dying? i pulled up to her house with meals in hand and awkwardly navigated my way around the emt's. 

hey, is sue here? i'm with meals-on-wheels! i volunteer! i am relevant! this makes up for all my wrong-doings and sips that i steal at fountain drink machines! or all those times i accidentally take the bags from ikea! 

the emt stared at me. in retrospect, i think he thought i was being sarcastic? like, how could i not pick up on the fact that the lady was being wheeled into the ambulance at the very moment.

i barged into the house anyways and set the meal in the fridge, just like i was trained to do. like a robot, guys! what is wrong with me?! oh, sue. 

life! death! chopped up meatloaf bits! life! sue! 

...and that's my slightly morbid story. 

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