my after-hours ensembles. it's sexy.

Saturday, July 27, 2013

happy saturday!

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if you were to walk into my house at any time after 3 in the afternoon, you would probably be horrified. you see, i am not lounge cute (or gym cute for that matter). years and years of team sports has thoroughly equipped me with boxes and boxes of ratty t-shirts, baggy sweatshirts, and oversized gym shorts. and i just can't let 'em go.

when i get home, i instantly unwind. i am talking unhooking my bra as i am getting out of my car type of unwinding. i usually walk in, take off all my makeup, throw my hair in a bun, and head to my butch closet. yes, i have a whole closet for it.

side note: one time my brother + his wife came over and halfway through their visit i realized that i had been chatting with them in my robe. oh hi! let's play a game called guess what's going on underneath? yeah, blood-relative? sound fun?

poor, poor jeff. i am sure he was halfway hoping that i would watch television in sexy nightgowns. but actually, probably he was just hoping for something that somewhat showed that i have a womanly shape!


here's some of my gems as captured by my cellular. because, what else?

okay, here is my before pictures. these are outfits that are my go-to's. layers, layers, so many layers. also why? why do i take selfies? i don't even know. but that's besides the point :

see? not bad. not totally terrible. lots of flowy skirts + converse + military jackets + hey look! my waist! not totally bad, not totally good. bones?

and now for my after. oh, good heavens. get your booty ready.

i will admit, the picture on the right is not a wonderful representation of my after-work outfits. believe it or don't, i was actually trying there. i was on vacation in michigan-land with my in-laws and didn't want to completely horrify them. but the one on the left? oh yes. braless. baggy t-shirt. sweatpants cut into shorts and flippy flops. oh, and a soaking wet top knot. yesterday while i was lounging my sister realized that i was wearing capris i have owned since the sixth grade. and this is not one of those "oh my gosh! i still fit in my prom dress!" type of moments. this is shameful, hand-to-the-forehead type of business. like, bright green, terry-cloth, walmart brand type of shame.

oh, you want a picture?

you got it, dude.

and here's s'more. for good measure.

but also how cute is my garland? to make : a roll of honeymoon patience, dollar store thread, and two tacks. also no patience. and no crafty bone either.
and the idaho + california ensemble? so easy to make! just grab a kim mosman + a fatty diet coke. also whaaaa? thanks. i know i am great at decorating. and also yes, i begged my sister to take this picture of me. whaaaa? the papz won't bite these days.

i digress.

so here's my style tips for the perfect lounge wear :

+ nothing is off-limits! old basketball jerseys, sweats that are ten years old, peanut-butter stained tee-shirts. get creative here. maybe even just close your eyes + turn off all the lights while getting dressed and bam! butch-tastic.
+ all or nothing, baby. if you butch-out, you got to commit to butching out. i see so many girls with cute hair, makeup, and yoga pants. pfffffft. the key is to look as gender-confused as possible, people! take off that makeup! throw up that hair! maybe duct-tape down your boobs if you have to.
+ comfort is key! always. bras are not an option here. pride and femininity isn't either, for the record.
+ own it. if the hometeachers are coming over or your friend is stopping in for a visit, don't you dare change into something more presentable. no. own it girl. it's after-hours and you have the right to lounge.

and there you have it. butch on, ladies! butch on.
may we all spread eagle in comfort. amirite?


  1. may i recommend adding fleece pajama pants + a fleece bathrobe to the mix?

  2. my husband asked me the other day as we were walking out the door, " you think that bun looks good?" freaking hater.

  3. i totally live by this braless-tshirts-bballshorts mantra. everyday. always.

  4. girl, enough cyber stalking on each of our part, we need to hang out. asap. you're the funniest, and HOLY COW YOU'RE PHOTOGRAPHY IS INCREDIBLE, at least all the awesome stuff you've been posting on insta. okay lets play. its decided

    anyways this post is great, high school ruined me by also giving me wayyyy to many t shirts.

    1. WHAT!? that means so much coming from you, you have no idea. worshiped you in photo-class FOR REAL.

      and let's play! please!


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