and her small heart grew three sizes that year...

Monday, December 31, 2012


this past year, i feel like i have learned how to love things so hard. let me explain:

i never really bought into the idea of love and all of its trappings. the thought of a guy somewhere in the world holding half of my heart really made me want to vomit (the visual!). i always scratched my head at the stories where a homely girl meets a vampire and falls in love with him and becomes this sparkling goddess vampire slayer (...twilight...). why did i need a man to make me glitter in the sunlight? turn up the destiny's child, will ya?

i already felt complete. unquestionably single, but complete.

my roommate in college and one of the three people i feel comfortable using the term best friend with, avery, is your token cool friend. you know what i mean? we had a sort of hunter-gatherer relationship where she would hunt and gather all prospective friends...and i would sit in our room watching netflix with my retainer in. it was a truly beautiful thing. she validates the fact that, because you are friends with her, you are partially cool. you have to be! 

"sorry ma'am, but you are not allowed to be at this party for the world's most elite, i'm going to have to ask you to..."
"...but i'm friends with avery miyahara!"
"oh! in that case! come on in, person dressed like a colonial lady! welcome to the world's most elite party! have a mini corndog?"

you following? i swear, if sweet mary and joseph and just told those pricks of innkeepers that they knew avery miyahara, the entire christmas story would have gone a lot differently. they would have been put up at the finest establishment! is this irreverent? this is irreverent. onwards!

avery and i performed magic in our tiny dorm room at 1121 chipman. those two semesters together, my cool-avery silently helped me to whittle away all the dumb stuff that had burdened my soul all through high school. suddenly, all my insecurities just seemed kind of, well, stupid. thick thighs? pffft. a permanent food baby? pfffft. more-than-occasional upper lip hair? pff...actually, no. that one still sucks. 

in sum, i became complete. 

and then i met jeff.

oh, jeff. 

this past year together has helped solidify the fact that yes, i was still a complete person without him and am still that same complete person with him. meeting him didn't make my skin glitter or freeze my blood or anything major. he didn't come bearing half of my heart (the visual! gross!) or suddenly make me realize that i was a ten-cow woman. t-rust me, i already knew that (joking!). 

but he did make me love things harder. it was like on the grinch where his heart grows three times bigger; i loved things more. three times more, in fact! fountain drinks, television shows, even my idaho and family, things i already loved, i loved more

...and, unfortunately for you all subjected to my selfies or occasional brag-fest, this i loved myself more, too. jeff took all the things i already loved about myself and shouted them back at me lovingly. you do have the best taste in apples, brooke! you are suspiciously attractive when you sweat, brooke! (i glisten guys, i really do!) you do find the best drive-through salads, brooke! 

it's like jeff has blown up my heart so big that it could burst; case-in-point: i commented on a friend's instagram the other day that 'my heart was warm' after looking at her pictures. what? when did i become affectionate? (answer: still not; let's not hug, ya?)(kidding!)

i love that boy. more than i love myself, i promise. and i love that 2013 is like this big plot of land with fresh snow that i can't wait to defile. 




6 comments:

  1. i love this post.
    so fantastic!
    continue to love more!

    K

    ReplyDelete
  2. i should probably just create an auto response to every post you ever create. the words I LOVE YOUR BLOG would be in there, and i would probably mention your perfect wit and gorgeous looks. this post was amazing. UH-MAZE-ING brooke. it's so amazing that it totally deserved that emphasized uh-maze-ing. how many more times can i say that word? amazing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. you can say the word uh-mazing 17,000 more times because i LOVE to hear it, baby! ha! thank you so much my dear :)

      Delete
  3. found you via kylee ^ on insta and even though I normally stalk undectected, I couldn't help but leave an all caps AMEN to this post. and agree with how awesome of a writer you are.

    ReplyDelete

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