on things metaphorical.

yesterday after church i hurriedly made my way to the cafeteria (after gasping and inwardly cursing over  a $150 parking ticket with lily…gasp! curse!) and in a few quick moments with hungry-brain, had piled plate after plate of various foods (large salad, omelette, potatoes, steamed carrots, shredded steak, cookie, grapes…) and inhaled all of it. food-guilt and indigestion set in and i decided it was time for a sunday afternoon walk.

as i was walking, i took in the utah scenery–it really is a pretty place, you know? the snow topped mountains and tall, green trees; the rows and rows of cute little houses and culdesacs that scream family-friendly; the snow…and the snow…and the slushy make-you-fall-on-your-face-outside-the-matt-costa-concert snow.

joyous day.

i had my headphones in and was bumping. the playlist seemed to match my surroundings; calm, tranquil, soft, peaceful (…and the synonyms for ‘calm’ stop now…).

the glorious provo temple was just up the hill and as i made my way towards it, i prepared myself for a real deep and spiritual experience. i braced myself for some personal revelation about…anything? something? what my major should be? if i should trim my hair or not? is scout a suitable name for my hypothetical child? the closer i got to the temple, the more excited i was! i was going to have a real and raw moment here, guys!

then the song changed and temptation filled my ears. justin moore’s song that reminds me of my father and various high school friends (…this song; i love it, but do not condone it!)…oy! i couldn’t resist! but i couldn’t have a real, raw moment listening to tunes like THAT (with cuss words in the chorus! gasp!). thus, i had a decision to make: a. real, raw moment or b. justin moore’s scandily song.

…needless to say, i took a hard right and strolled down a random street with obscenities streaming into my brainium (do you like what i did there?). temptation at it’s finest! and i gave in! (…why am i telling this story again? is it to feel more accountable? hold me accountable, justin moore!)

and then i got hit by a bus! just flatted out! karma came in the form of a big, yellow, angry vehicle and laid me out in the middle of the road with the song still playing in the background.

holy smokes!

i called my mom and told her about the situation. we figured there was a metaphor in there, or a simile? or something symbolic? that life is like an ipod, and we get to choose what we listen to and what fills our brains and…oh, curses! we had a great metaphor in there but i don’t quite remember it…maybe it was that life is like a road and sometimes there are obstacles in life and temptations (like cuss wordy songs or caffeinated drinks or fast food places that are open on sundays?) and you have to make a decision! at the crossroads! like i did! hard right! (except it was wrong…anti-metaphor!) bus to the body!

…and now you know.

p.s. i went in for a fancy job interview on thursday and we spent 75% of the interview talking about once upon a time and how much i hated puberty. wait, what? ha.

p.p.s. also, just kidding(!!!) about the big yellow bus part. it was actually a prius. just kidding again! i didn’t get hit by anything. but when i am retelling this story and using it as a learning point in some deep, spiritual talk i am giving, i am going to say i got hit. for the sake of bringing the metaphor (or simile?) full-circle. and you aren’t going to say anything about it!