september the first.

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status of laptop : dead.
status of diet coke fast : done.
woof.
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September the First has been quite an uneventful day, but i'm telling myself that this is not indicative of the rest of september just like the fact that we didn't cut the cake or throw (retrieve?) the garter at our wedding is not indicative of the rest of our marriage. or is it? i think it shows that we are party poopers or rule breakers. but mostly i think it shows that i hate forced attention. am i on to something here?

it started at the post office where i dropped off some packages of various sorts to be delivered + had a conversation with the man working about handwriting (most that mine is shockingly bad). we laughed over illegible notes that we've written to ourselves + then i made a joke that we should be doctors. not because we are smart but because we have bad handwriting! 
that joke fell flat + the conversation ended right there. womp, womp.
then i got to wondering : MAYBE he had hopes + dreams of being a doctor but vomited at the very thought of blood + now it is a tender, tender subject. or something.
you know what post office man, I RELATE! i wanted to play catcher in softball because SITTING but i'm left handed + apparently that's an issue? SOLIDARITY.

then i drove by sodalicious + how can you drive by sodalicious without getting a soda? it's practically illegal, i tell you!

then on my way home, i passed the amish store kiddy corner from my house + thought TODAY IS THE DAY I GO IN THERE. they had all the butters (FIG! apple! marsmallow!). they had all the syrups (blueberry! pecan pie! cinnamon peach!). they had pickled everything (beets! corn! eggs!). and they even had amish hats for $25. also there was an old man sitting out front in a rocking chair + i still don't know if he was being paid to do that?
(full disclosure, the bottom right picture is from an urban outfitters. selfies feel more normal there than at the amish store. you know?)

i left with medium salsa, because i am a real woman + who gets mild, anyways?, clover honey, plain jane maple syrup + the intentions of going back for a sandwich special + a hat. because duh.

also i caught up on my real housewives of orange county. shannon beador. why do i like you so much? you're crazy. also bachelor in paradise. also after paradise. ...i'm going to go outside now...

now i'm sitting here typing this waiting for jeff to come back from his manly night watching ant man with friends. i think he is going to bring me back subzero ice cream because he just GETS me (...and i texted him : HI! will you bring me back some subzero ice cream tonight? to which he responded : Sure. But delete this text so I can pretend it's a surprise and I get you.)

SEPTEMBER THE FIRST, i declare you over.