Stuff and things and it's F R I D A Y !

• I ain't cut out for California driving. I've been honked at twelve times and flipped off once. But he pulled his car up to mine and was clenching his fist so hard it started shaking so that counts for like, thirty two times? Also can we agree that man was crazy? Let's agree that man was crazy.
• Last weekend at a wedding in Vernal (Vernal! You shockingly charming little devil, you!) I harassed the groom's brother a few too many times, telling him he would be perfect with my sister Paige and asking probing questions and setting up their wedding (I would shoot it pro bono!). The girl who I thought was his cousin finally spoke up and informed me that she was his girlfriend, not his cousin, and they had been happily dating for a year. Woops. 
• On that note, I am thinking of writing my sister's number on my business cards. I hand out her number like, five times a wedding. Do you know any cute, single 17 year-olds? What do you think? 
• Have I ever told you my dream is to live by a lake? Well, my dream is to live by a lake. Though I love the beach, I think I am too butch for it. I prefer to bask in the sun braless + unshaved, thank you. Ain't nobody judgin' at the lake.
   
• I finished The Wedding Night by Sophie Kinsella. I feel like it would be a really funny chick flick but it was kind of meh. Who is excited about I Am Having So Much Fun Here Without You being out? Me! Which is odd to look forward to a book this much but once upon a time Amazon suggested it to me and then told me it wouldn't be out till June. And now it's out! I'm regretting sharing this pointless sentiment. 
• I'm pretty sure 'Treat Yo' Self' is the anthem of my life. Ask the McDonald's employee who took my order twice in two hours because happiness is a Diet Dr. Pepper + ice cream cone. You can buy happiness (for $2.16)
• How many Trader Joe's dark chocolate peanut butter cups shoulder a person inhale in one sitting? Asking for a friend...
• If you are reading this, happy day of birth Kevin. I should call you buuuuuuut...
• Speaking of Kevin, I pronounce his name Kev-EEEEEE-n because my high school Spanish class was forced to watch UP in Spanish (duh) and that's how they pronounced Kevin's name. No one gets it + it's too late to explain. It's fine. And awkward. 
• I watched both seasons of Inside Amy Schumer on Hulu this past week because I am important and have an incredibly busy schedule. Woof, she is funny. But also watch with headphones and make sure your in-laws aren't around? ;)

Happy F R I D A Y !