here + there.

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hi, hello.
midst my laundry list of pet peeve -- when did this happen? when did i become a cranky old woman?! but actually, no apologies. why are crop tops still being made + why must people still be mixing up their/there/they're?! -- is my annoyance for the 'bad blogger' apology. i have made it a handful of times and cringe every time i hit publish. who am i apologizing too, anyways? and what constitutes a bad blogger? is their a mother blog that is wagging her finger at me scolding me for my leave of absence and over use of cell phone pictures? i think not. i think not!

i took a big, fat leave of absence from blogging. mostly because i was busy and partly because who reads blogs in the summer anyways?! (answer : i do.) i feel like i've been pulled in fifteen thousand different directions + that my butt is starting to take the form of my car seat. (not car-seat, you imbecile! i am not a baby! hehehe.) in the past three weeks, i've been to moscow, seattle, moscow, utah, california, utah, and back to moscow next monday. eeks! although all this traveling and craziness has been a bit of a detriment to my personal health (i think i am starting to sweat diet dr. pepper + this weekend i was up for twenty four hours. TWENTY FOUR!), i love, love it.

eww, what? people are probably reading this expecting me to say something crazy. like, 'i'm pregnant!' or 'i'm a closet alcoholic!' ...bible, this is just a long not-apology. it's an explanation, rather. to any one that has been trying to get a hold of me : i am sorry. ha. no, seriously.

...this is the part where i scratch my head and ask myself, where exactly was i going with this? 
oh, right. cell phone pictures and a catch-up!
well, a half-hearted one. 

:: i chopped my hair off. yahooligans! i decided on a thursday that i wanted my hair off my head. off with you! by a stroke of luck, i got in friday morning and badda-bing, badda-bam...collar-bone happiness! i sort of feel like a mom with this hair? which isn't a bad thing because, oh. how my ovaries ache. a friend of a friend (vague) at a wedding told my friend (vaguer) that i was like, "that cool mom that teenagers can talk to." eh? i'll take it! even though i'm seven years younger than you and kiiiiiind of regretting my outfit now? do you like my shades shirt?

:: i slowly became a low-budget porn start. my name at my job was originally 'jeff's wife' (nepotism! we support it!) then it went to 'brooke' then 'brookie' then 'brookie cookie' and now it's just 'cookie.' which is cute nickname no? well, yes. but when people start believing that's your real name, oh heavens. i have had to start wearing the highest cut tops and makeup with no glitter because i'm 75% certain they are going to start thinking i'm a stripper. sorry to any readers named cookie...

:: i signed up for classes. i'm going back to school! validate me?  you were taking a break from school, brooke? yes. yes, i was. i had a big fat quarter-life crisis where i dropped all my journalism classes + decided that i wanted to be a health teacher. because who better to teach teenagers about gonorrhea + birth control? am i right? anyways, i'm back this semester! everyone throw a parade + make sure i get my homework done this time?

:: i celebrated my one year anniversary. more on that later. i love mah boy.

:: my sis went home. more on that later, too. i love mah sister. and she made varsity soccer! paige made varsity! kick flip! come come on the kick-drum!

:: i got locked in a bathroom + had to put my feet up on the toilet and text for help. back to work! my company switched the bathrooms up for whatever reason + forgot to inform the employees. or maybe they did and we all just didn't read the email? anyways, i went into the right (or was it the wrong?) bathroom and started to do my business when i heard all these men walk in. crap, crap, crap. it was a two-stall bathroom and there was at least six of them. double crap. i sat there quietly and put my feet on the toilet + texted my melissa friend for help. the guys just. kept. waiting. what?! isn't there a bathroom code here? you do not wait out other people's business! you just don't! isn't there a bathroom upstairs? it was horrifying.

:: i offended a business woman horribly + kind of wanted to die. ugh, i am still so embarrassed over this. i had to take photos of small business owners for my job + was so nervous at my first shoot that i just. kept. talking. at one point in the shoot, i said something about women in the workforce (something i totally support!) and it sounded weird and questioning and so do you not see your kids very much then? you guys. i didn't mean it. i didn't! i was just so nervous! the whole day was one big flop. my partner in the project even started auditioning right then and there? it. was. awkward.

:: i accepted the fact that i am not five feet seven inches. because i'm not. dangit.

:: i saw my family more than any person who is, at the very least, 652 miles away from immediate family should. my family on both sides have been in and out of provo + we have been in and out of idaho/california. it's been so nice + fun + has solidified the fact that i want eleven kids. ha. we have been so well fed + well stocked on toilet paper (my in-laws just brought us a box of the cottonelle wipes! living. large.).

:: i ran a marathon. no, no i didn't. but wouldn't that be fun?! remember when i thought that was going to be my thing?! some day, some day.

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so there. 
don't wave that finger at me, mama blog.