a story about fire and wednesdays and junior high ... SUBTITLE : today.

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

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so, today i was fired from my job.

or, sort of. it was more like a 'you aren't willing to work full-time this fall due to school // you've asked for a total of two months off this summer // what exactly do you do here anyways and why haven't we figured this out sooner?!' but i can't be too specific because i'm almost certain that i signed a paper saying that i wouldn't disclose all the details? let's just say it was one of those junior high relationships headed for dumpville -- they just beat me to the punch in blurting out, "you wear a watch with your basketball shorts and i just can't do this anymore!!" (they didn't actually say that. but in junior high i did dump a boy because of it.)

believe it or don't, this isn't the first time i was fired from a job (the h.r. man corrected me saying that i was terminated. but doesn't that sound so much worse?!). in ninth grade i worked as a concessionaire at the pool and kiiiiind of was the worst employee there. one time i even napped under a pool towel. also i think i took the 'free frozen yogurt' incentive a bit too seriously. wait, no. on second thought, that wasn't free...

i remember when i was fired, or invited to resign, rather, i found the whole thing so comical. i remember looking + thinking of ways to make this funnier. what if i just let out a blood-curdling scream? noooooo! or refused to leave? or took all my clothes off + attempted to sit on my manager's lap? one last lap in the pool? pass out? what if i pretended to have short term memory loss + came into work the next day, handing out churros + pounding down the free frozen yogurt?! my lanta.

while i didn't do any of the aforementioned, this morning was kind of comical. for starters, when i was asked to go to the board-room right away for a meeting, i kept trying to get on the internet at my desk because i hadn't checked twitter all day long + i had blogs to catch up on + the reasons for my termination are becoming all so crystal clear?


anyways, the meeting went quickly + at one point i am fairly certain i shouted out hallelujah! + i even went as far as to say that i had been praying about what to do and they just answered my prayers, thank you thank you thank you.

i did a little skip-hop out the door + didn't look back.
but actually i did because i left my lunch in the fridge and you don't give up leftovers that easy.
oh heck no.

i feel free.
but, like. who's hiring? ;)

also it's wednesday. note to self : don't craft out a title before actually writing any content. 
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  1. this is hilar. I was "invited to resign" once in high school too and thought the same thing...what if I decline your invitation? what then?

    but I am sorry you got fired....welcome to unemployment.


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