thoughts on an evening walk //

i'm an overly self-critical underachiever. occasionally i will have the paralyzing thought :

WHAT IF I HAD ALWAYS TRIED HARD?
where would i be?
what if i had like, actually practiced my instrument?!
or didn't google-translate my way through spanish?!
or brushed my hair every once in a while?!?

i think i have watched too many episodes of dance moms + have convinced myself that i would have tried hard from the time i was little (like, super hard)(or had an abby lee miller-like character in my life violently berating me), then i would be a star at something. violin? ballet? soccer? reading? I DON'T KNOW NOR WILL I EVER. HOW SAD.

...but then i just flip on britney's greatest hits, keep walking + think, "meh."


BUT SERIOUSLY WHAT IF?
the end.