hiiiiii(atus).

wasn’t that title witty? i said ‘hi!’ to you while also acknowledging the fact that i took a brief holiday hiatus while also being all cute and funnylicious.

(…while talking about things that are ‘licious’, my mom and i decided this week while watching ellen that fergalicious is perhaps the most lucky woman in all of the land; her bod is rockin’, she’s married to josh duhamel, and she is the only girl in black eyed peas which means she’s automatically the hottest…lucky b…)

(wait, do you guys think she looks kind of horsey? also wait, she’s number 19 on the list of ugliest female celebrities! WAIT this list also deemed beyonce number 7…discredited…)

anyways, my week was sort of wonderfulicious.

i saw my friends, saw my family, drank so much diet coke and diet dr. pepper that i am now sweating it (no seriously…i am), and ate my brains out.

ever since i left for college in june, my family has gotten way, way fancier. they now buy poptarts? barq’s root beer instead of off-brand shasta? jewish rye bread?!

i was telling my brother and his wife (okay…i just love saying that; his ‘wife’–it reminds me of the scene in parent trap where the then-adorbs lindsay lohan is rambling on about how much she loves saying ‘dad’) about this in the car, and he told me that back in his day, the only junk food in the house were chocolate chips for cooking and that he had clean his room, empty out the garbage cans, and clip my father’s toenails for my mother to make him a  chocolate milkshake.

now my siblings get chocolate milkshakes every single night just for existing…

lucky b’s…

the end! byeee(…sexual)!

side note: my brother didn’t have to clip my dad’s toenails, ever. also he said that “just for existing” line originally…i didn’t just make it up…shamefulicious…