elementary school talent show.

For my entire high school career, final’s week always warranted for minimum sleep, thousands of note cards, unkempt hair, and zits. I am always cramming in as much information as I can and trying to make up for sleeping and texting all day during classes. I remember in 10th grade, I was so stressed that my mother gave me some aroma-therapy lilac smelling deliciousness to relieve some of my franticness. She also gave me a flask full of whiskey, engraved with the phrase ‘Good luck, favorite child!’, but that is besides the point.

This year, however, has been different. Finals week has been a breeze. Last night I opted out of studying and instead made cookies (well, I watched the Real Housewives Finale as the bearded one made cookies–they were chocolate chip with Oreo cookies inside of them; inventive, no?) and this morning I went for a seven mile run (irrelevant and a lie; but it impressed you, right?).

To further prove my point, I am currently typing this during a finals session. Point proven.

Moving on. For the Advanced Placement Spanish class (yes, Advanced Placement) final today we walked up to the elementary school to watch our teacher’s daughter’s performance. Right when we walked in I spotted an open seat right in the middle of the parent’s section and quickly took advantage of it (I fit right in, I was wearing my mom short’s). A few parent’s eyed me, trying to figure out who my child was, but quickly turned back to watch the girl singing a wonderfully terrible ‘Firework’ by Katy Perry. I snickered to myself at these parents, thinking that I was a mom, and snickered some more at the rest of my class, forced to stand in the back.
I began to get really into the show. I yelled for the two boys with faux hawks (why?!) who shot hoops for a minute as their talent (they were 7/20…they really need to start making cuts at these deals), giggled furiously at the skinny girl who mumbled through ‘Purple People Eater’ and gawked openly at the surprising number of DILFS at this elementary school (a SURPRISING amount!).
Then, it began. The chubby boy who sported a bowl-cut and yellow cut-off shirt sauntered on up to the microphone and announced that he would be singing a rendition of ‘Eye of the Tiger.’ He started off quietly and gradually worked into a stand up performance complete with yelling, panting, dancing, and overhead clapping (MY FAVORITE!). Naturally, I joined in on the overhead clap and exchanged glances with the kid’s parents (how did I know? the dad was ALSO sporting a cutoff)(…not a dilf).
I began to wonder where my Advanced Placement Spanish class was at the end of JV Survivor’s rockstar performance (standing ovations aren’t contagious? whatttt?!) and turned to give the room a quick scan.
Long story shorter: THEY  HAD LEFT ME! Apparently my Spanish teacher’s daughter had already performed so they had left five minutes after arriving. I had been sitting, swaying, giggling and overhead clapping completely alone while my Advanced Placement Spanish class was back in the room, studying for the final like most normal high schoolers. I snuck out of the small auditorium, making sure to congratulate yellow cutoff boy, and walk-sprinted down to the high school. As I tore through the doors of my Advanced Placement Spanish class, they merely laughed and continued on studying. Anticlimactic.
Oh well, I would trade all the precious study minutes in the world to see that chubby little man singing his heart out again.