The Great Soda Challenge || A Diet Coke-off

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Once upon a time, I decided to give up Diet Coke. Officially.
I held out for two months and convinced myself that I didn't miss it or need it in my life. I specifically remember phone calls to my mother where I talked about my newfound energy and how the thought of forty four ounces of soda made me want to throw up.

What a load of junk. 
Much like watching Mad Men and working in retail and Zumba, as much as I wanted to like it, I couldn't fake it for long. I mean, c'mon. Diet Coke is my one vice (...next to reality television,
celebrity gossip, and buying oversized clothing).

SO! In the words of Caroline Manzo from Real Housewives of New Jersey (Caroline, where are you?!), I'm taking this next level and "being the best." I'm pretty sure I misquoted her there and I'm pretty sure ten million people have said that same sentiment but hey, next level! Caroline Manzo! New Jersey!
(...in case you are of the socially superb, I'm referring to the episode where her daughter is talking about wanting to go to beauty school...)

I am pretty particular with my Diet Coke; it must be from a fountain (a can if I'm in a real pinch) and the ice must be pebbled + not too watery + the cup can't be flimsy and should preferably be a thick styrofoam. A vanilla + a slice of lemon if you have it, coconut if I'm feeling adventurous, and almond joy creamer if I'm feeling chubby.

This is all a long way of saying, yo. I ranked the fountain drinks in Utah because I take myself way too seriously + am a ridiculous human + love me a stiff drink on the rocks.

Sonic : 4.5
The analysis : Is there anything better than a Sonic Diet Coke with vanilla and lemon during happy hour? I think not. Pebbled ice, styrofoam cup, fresh lemons, and the opportunity to see pre-teens fumble with 44 ounces on ROLLERSKATES?! 

Hires Big H : 5.0(!!!!!)
The analysis : Holy sweet mother of fountain drinks, Hires Big H. They have this ice that's a hybrid between pebbled ice + shaved ice and I want to take a bath in it (actually no, no I don't. That sounds cold). They have 'Tropical Diet Coke' which is essentially dirty Diet Coke (coconut + lime) but with more lime and less coconut and it sort of tastes like pineapple? Don't overthink it and get yourself a large.

McDonalds : 3.0
McDonalds in a sweet tea cup (styrofoam) : 3.3
McDonalds Diet Dr. Pepper in a sweet tea cup : 3.5
The analysis : McDonalds' is like a vanilla bean ice cream cone. There's really nothing spectacular about it but you know what you are going to get. Fizzy Diet Coke. On melty ice. Plus it's a dollar and there's a drive through window.

Will's Pit Stop : 3.5
The analysis : I used to be ultra-enthusiastic about Will's; I even raved about their flizz-to-flavor ration on Yelp. While their ice isn't spectacular + their cups are kind of flimsy, they deliver.

Maverik//7/Eleven//Flying J : 1.1
The anaysis : Flat as a fifth grader.
                       Hey, that was funny! Praying people have scrolled this far.

Sodalicious : 4.6
The analysis : If we are being perfectly honest, they could hand me carbonated milk and I'd be happy. They have the nicest employees who will remember your name and ask you about your love life. Ain't nothing better than Anna K. and a Dirty Diet Coke.

Swig : 2.3
The analysis : I want to like Swig, I do! But I just don't. Two points for yummy concoctions + styrofoam cups + .3 because it's Wednesday.

Crest : 3.7
The analysis : Let it be known, the Crest nearest me doesn't carry Diet Coke but does carry Diet Dr. Pepper...which is weird. But! Their Diet Dr. Pepper is so good + they have a drive through and coconut flavoring. It's really all about the drive through. Ain't nobody need to see me barefoot and braless.

Guzzles : 1.2
The analysis : This is right across from Target. It serves Diet Coke. That's about the only plus? Oooof, I'm a cruel Diet Coke reviewer.

Fabulous Freddy's : 4.7
The analysis : People. Of. The. World. Fab Freddy's. They have a drive through, flavored drinks, and a reward program so that you get points for gas and other purchases that you can use in the store and on drinks...  that are already like, 75 cents. I stop here during my Nordstrom Rack runs and it is a match made in heaven.

Honorable mentions : 
Chick Fil A (their lemonade rocks + I always get a Diet Dr. Pepper. Styrofoam cup(!!!).
Carls Junior (overpriced, but always fizzy!)
Holladay Oil (buy a cup for $10 and get fifty cent refills all summer long. Plus drink flavorings!)

...now I need a Diet Coke.

because it's the middle of the week and nothing has happened...my most favorite snacks!

i am eating twenty three out of twenty four hours of the day. i need + have to be. i eat when i'm bored, i eat when i'm super happy, and i even eat when i'm running (gasp!)(yes, i've choked a few times or two). i'm a grazer. over the years, my budget and taste has changed...and also my metabolism came to a screeching halt..., so my snacks have had to change, too.

...this is all just one long-winded ramble to say that i am the fairy godsnacker! have i built credibility yet? can i cut your hair? onwards! below is a list of my favorite snacks in the universe that will blow your mind and rock your tastebuds...or will suffice on a particularly snacky sunday.

|| cucumber spicy sandwich: cut up a cucumber into small slice...or don't. it's up to you. but for the sake of this snack, cut up the cucumber! then! take two cucumbers and spread laughing cow cheese on one of 'em. grab some lunchmeat and put it in between the two cucumbers. holy balls! explaining this is hard! anyways, add some salt + pepper and, most importantly, a squirt of sriacha on the top. enjoy and think about me! 

|| rice cake hamburger...or something like that...: take a rice cake and make a personal decision to not compare it to cardboard. add low-fat (or full-fat! you do you, girl!) cottage cheese, salt and pepper, tomatoes, ice-burg lettuce, and some avocado. yummy, yummy, yummy. 

|| strawberry + spinach freeze: blend together a handful of frozen strawberries, spinach, + a wee bit of almond milk. oh! and a little spoon of vanilla. the consistency should be thick and...thick. you can freeze it for a bit longer to thicken it up a bit. sometimes i'll take some light cool whip and add it to the top, too. then eat! you can top it with granola or sliced bananas or...cheerios? 

|| pb+j to go!: take a spoonful of crunchy peanut butter + some frozen blueberries and stick it in your mouth. easy, peasy, lemon squeezy. 

|| apple sandwich: i've seen this one popping up all around pinterest and it makes my soul so happy. these are the best! core an apple and cut into little donut-like slices. add peanut butter, small chocolate chips, and granola and top with another apple slice. so, so good.

|| balsamic baby tomatoes: cut up some baby tomatoes, salt + pepper, and balsamic vinegar. then thank me. try with cucumbers, too! 

|| sweet, sweet potato: ha, my names are pathetic. but! i'm a huge fan of sweet potatoes. i eat 'em topped with anything. one of my most favorite toppings are...blueberries! weird, eh? i take blueberries and laughing cow cheese and add them to my sweet potato...and then i do a few fist bumps over the flavor. 

|| one minute apple-pie in a cup: apple pie in a cup?! what a notion! take sugar-free applesauce and put it in a cup...or a bowl. actually, put it in a bowl. microwave for one minute and top with frozen yogurt, light cool-whip, chocolate chips, slivered almonds, walnuts...you get the point.

|| no-need for explanation: beets, tuna fish, and diet coke straight outta the can. 

and now to end this, a picture of me + my friend morgan on a run this afternoon. we mostly wanted to show off the difference in our workout attire (...i look like rocky balboa and she looks fashionably fit; investing in cute workout clothes always pains me...), but also wanted to brag about how we went running. you can clap now.

...are you still clapping? good. 

the least sexy.

friday is our designated 'date day.' i always feel lame saying it and don't much like to talk about it on account of it makes me feel old (i do like the alliteration, though!). jeff took the reigns on friday and picked out a thai restaurant down the street for our d.d.d(esignation). i was excited! so excited, in fact!, that i spent a frustrating hour trying to pick all his brothers' hair out of my sweater. because i give hair cuts, you big weird.

right as we sat down, jeff ordered. there was no time for drink-picking or menu-pronouncing (my grandma's rule: don't eat what you can't pronounce; i was had limited options for most of my life -- especially when i had a short stint in lispiness due to orthodontics!). curry! pad thai! water, please! 

the waitress returned suspiciously fast with our food; i am nearly positive she just nuked some leftovers and called it THAI! i was so hungry that i didn't care. we dove into our bowls in silence and were completely finished in seven minutes (SEVEN!). i don't even recall chewing? 

we were there twenty minutes total. TWENTY MINUTES CAPITAL LETTERS. jeff suggested we get some more noodles at winco (unlawful sampling at the bulk bins could be dessert?) and i discussed my newly found knee zit (who even gets zits on their knees, anyways?).

...we ended the night in comfy sweats watching netflix'd episodes of 30 rock...

when i told this story to my mom, she just laughed and said: "oh, married life!"

to which i replied: "oh?" 

also the verdict is still out on knee zits.

R&R.

…so married-student wards are weird (and so are married students. ha! self deprecation!) at least ours’ was. there was no before-class gossiping or after-class lingering or even during-class note passing! it’s like these people are adults or something! thus, i decided to start shopping around for a new ward (…or go test our other option). you guys, there were SIX babies blessed that day. SIX! and all of them were trendily-named, it was like a competition! (that i will gladly participate in when it’s the appropriate time; it’s inevitable that my kids are going to get beat up on the playground if someone doesn’t intervene with my name options…)anyways, we were still exhausted on monday from listening to all of those cutesy names and were in desperate need of some rest and relaxation. the local park seemed fitting! aren’t we trendy! …is park-going trendy? probably not, but seeking out concerts is! and that’s what we did. we sat down and listened to the music for awhile until we realized that we were in the midst of a park-church of sorts…and then we got up and started swaying with them! the people there were all so nice and the guy conducting had a voice like rafiki :) (…even while he was condoning polygamy?)(no, seriously. but he did bring up some valid points…just kidding!).we ended the night at cubby’s, a new restaurant in town right next to little ceasar’s. recommend, recommend, recommend! i ordered the beet and goat cheese salad because i have a mad-crush on beets…and goat cheese (WIN!) and jeff got the philly sandwich. my salad was one of the better salads that i’ve gotten at a restaurant (it was actually seasoned!) and the generous bite i had of jeff’s sandwich was tasty. plus i am obsessed with the interior of the place.

also i’ve watched all three seasons of arrested development this week, are you judging me? (i have a post of my favorite AD quotes sitting in my draft box–it’s a bit out-of-hand!)

fridates.

…are the best kinds of dates. (and yes, that cinnamon roll is as big as my head…and i have a very big head!)

p.s. suggest! suggest! SUGGEST wallaby’s smokehouse bbq in lindon–it was so good and so cheap and the portion sizes were perfect (…also HELLO freshly cooked roll with cinnamon butter!). plus, the adorable owner walks around in his safari-type get-up and heckles the customers…and there’s a magic show on mondays! what?!  also order the cinnamon roll…just do it. (faturday = pushed to friday…indefinitely)

p.p.s. katniss loves gale. she just does.

blue plate//guy fieri.

i am a self-proclaimed connoisseur of all things celebrity. i COULD NOT tell you what is going on in physical science class at present but i could tell you all about the state of justin and selena’s love life and how jessica simpson can’t wear heels anymore (pregnant jessica is the best jessica!) and how bobby brown got yet another DUI (give him a break, he misses his whitney girl!).

that said, i often times find myself pretending that i am friends with celebrities. my main circle includes gwyneth paltrow, emma stone (BE MY BEST FRIEND?!), and tina fey. we call ourselves the BESTROGEN friends! we talk about girly stuff and giggle-snort and talk about ryan gossling ad naseam and even have a pair of traveling pants! it’s fun and stuff…

…where was i going with this again?

oh yes! guy fieri! and blue plate diner!

guy fieri from diners, drive-ins, and dives is another celebrity friend i wish i had. i adore him and his spiky bleached hair and obscenely tacky button-up shirts. he is just so sweet! that said, i felt like i could trust his opinion on dinner tonight and tried out the blue plate diner in salt lake. it was yum! i think it was yum mostly because guy fieri said it was yum, you know? but also it was yum because the turkey on my sandwich tasted SO FRESH and they had an old jukebox machine and decorated with postcards and they serve breakfast all day long (my favorite) and there was a lady sitting kiddie-corner to us that had the coolest chest tattoo ever that made me wonder things like…well, never mind.

…and to my dismay, no blue plates!

…also it rained (a little) today. WHY PROVO?

tonight.

…i cracked.

remember how i talked about eating healthier? pfffffft (the flavor of the month was mint oreo! MINT OREO, people!).

i justified my craving by explaining that i had a sore throat and had walked up a lot of stairs that day and it was that time of the month and…

MINT OREO (it’s only the flavor of the month for FOUR more days, i had to act quickly!)

leap year.

how to celebrate a leap year:

1. drive to salt lake city and make a pit stop at sonic for happy hour drinks (with two shots of vanilla!) and a large order of tater tots.
2. pull up to the building and debate braving the snowstorm that came out of left field and the two and a half hours of economics class but then turn to one another and telepathically say “let’s skip class.” (truth: it was a long debate initiated by him in the pros and cons of missing class)
3. sprint over to the energy solutions arena, buy tickets to the jazz vs. houston game that is going to start in 84 minutes, shovel down an overpriced dinner, and repeat over and over and over again “WE ARE SO SPONTANEOUS!” and then realize that acknowledging you are spontaneous cancels out any ounce of true spontaneity.
4. watch(ish) the game from the nosebleeds (we were in FOLDING CHAIRS!) but mostly just listen to the gaggle of ten year old boys in front of us and their dating lives. WHY DO THEY HAVE DATING LIVES?!
5. leave game. drive home with heat on high and say HAPPY LEAP YEAR! (or maybe just goodnight?)

the end. happy leap year! and happy birthday, leaplings!

enchiladas suzas.

ast night the j-man (…i really just love nicknames but have never been good at giving them…suggestions?) begged me to accompany him on a little trip to salt lake city. jeffer the heifer (thoughts?) really had to twist my arm to convinced me to come (…by saying that we could go and eat afterwards!). have you ever been to the red iguana? holy delicious dive.  we split the enchilada suizas and quite literally inhaled it in thirty seconds (then were inwardly (or outwardly) angry with one another for having to split a meal…). i was skeptical at first over the mole sauce but will never, never, never regret my decision! SO TASTY. like, scrape-the-plate-clean-with-your-fork/knife/chips type SO TASTY.

…and then we paid…and then we left…and now i am recommending it to you!

spaghetti factory.

 

there are two things you should know about my family:

1. we are creatures of habit. if we like something, we love it and we will love it until we can’t love it anymore. it’s kind of a ‘why fix what’s not broken?’ type of attitude–if something is working for you, why change it? right? for example, my dad eats wheaties for breakfast every. single. morning and every christmas we eat the exact same meal every year down to the pineapple punch.

2. we are crazy, stupid lingerers (well, the girls are). give us a target and a free refill and we will aimlessly wander for eternities. we linger in cars, we linger in malls, we linger in restaurants.

thus: the spaghetti factory was born.

every time my grandma is in town, we go to the spaghetti factory. it’s not that anyone in my family loves the spaghetti factory all that much but…it works! and why fix what’s not broken, right? everyone orders their same dish (manager’s special with half mizithra and half meat sauce and yes to the spimoni at the end, please!) and we sit down in the stupidly large table and we shout at one another because no one can hear and…it’s tradition!

last night we went and lingered…and lingered…and lingered… 

(and the cutest picture of the night in which true love is captured…) 

…and that’s my family.

food-guilt.

christmas break has been a time in which an early breakfast leads to a later breakfast that induces mid-day snacking that turns into lunch which calls for a second, more suitable lunch which compels an early dinner which, in turn, constitutes a large-yet-completely-rational helping of ice cream and chocolate-covered pretzels because “i basically didn’t eat dinner.” wait, what? the closest i have gotten to touching a scale was when i peed next to one and even that was enough for me. the white square undoubtedly full of disappointment evoked brief feelings of food-guilt…

 

…that led to a visit to the hole-in-the-wall pizza parlor in moscowland and a large slice of baked potato pizza (thank you, pie hole!) and a vow to use a different toilet because, after all, christmas break is no time for ill feelings!

p.s. to swimsuit season: I AM SORRY.

taco vans and elementary crushes.

As our fully loaded Dodge truck meandered slowly up the Lewiston grade, my full stomach began to sing.

Yes, sing. It was as if my stomach was saying a heart-felt thank you.

That afternoon I had graciously given my stomach the gift of tacos and tamales. …and every single sample at Costco, but that is besides the point.

The point: I am now an advocate to taco vans(yes, vans) everywhere

In Lewiston, Idaho, across the way from Effie’s Burgers(also a dive) and kiddie-corner from Dairy Queen lies a completely sketchy van adorned with pictures, Christmas lights, and menus listed in Magic Marker. As you can imagine, it is not the normal place for me to eat–I am used to high quality dining. Fine dining if you will. My normal seat at Cougar Country would guffaw at me nearing the taco van(yes, van) dubbed Cecy’s Tacos.

I approached the van reluctantly. Noting the not-so-scenic scenery that surrounded it and the bargain-brand napkins fluttering on the table.

As I ordered (a Walla Walla taco), I began to develop a crush on the little taco van. It was like an ugly baby, or a misshapen substitute, or my Clark’s wallabee boots.

Once I sank my decreasingly-straight teeth into that taco, complete with avocados, shredded beef, and onions, my elementary-school crush became a full-blown romance.

I wanted to take that taco van out to dinner and a movie of its choice.

I wanted to share headphones with that taco van, blasting cliché love ballods and various Bruce Springsteen songs, and walk (hands in back-pockets) shamelessly through the mall.

I wanted to love that taco van every single day.

God bless that taco van.

Yum(x3).

It's unfortunate my 'I-love-this' face is so unflattering.

Merry Christmas eve-eve!