let's all pretend...

can we all just pretend i'm actually related to chris stapleton?
okay. cool.

p.s. him and justin timberlake at the cma's. 
p.p.s. my dad got me hooked on him. so hip.

phone dump + some catch-up.

"you're the catch-up girl! not to be confused with 'ketchup girl' 'cause that's not you at all. you were strictly a mustard + relish girl from day one -- there's a little condiment humor for ya."

woof! hi! okay so you know how i took that giant break from blogging?
...probably not. who am i kidding? anyways, here's a bit of catch-up for you from the past couple months a la phone dumpage. or something. i definitely misuse 'a la' but i. don't. care. onwards! phone dump! hit it, guitar man :

// floated the provo river with my family...+ got caught in a total storm. it was pouring rain the whole time + even started to hail! i actually thought i was going to die. of course this happens to us.
// shot a sh'load of weddings at the prettiest places with the best people.
// had eyelash extensions. love myself.
// went on a little hike with my sissy-poo. we climbed all the way into the waterfall + froze our butts of. oh the mems.

// celebrated my brother chad's wedding at my favorite place, the lake! i was in town for a friend's wedding + it all worked out seamlessly. p.s. shooting high school friend's weddings? best ever. i got to catch up with all my old pals and see my friend get married? tops.

// celebrated avery's wedding 2.0 in california + spent most of the week sleeping on the beach
+ catching up on my real housewives. actually, i spent most of my time sleeping in the guest room at the stapleton's because i. was. so. tired. (...and so unknowingly pregnant. may or may not have gone to a sushi bar. i'm an idiot).

// went to idaho for an orthodontist appointment(?). it is as dumb as it sounds. ha. also chopped off my hair + took an indulgent selfie.
// baked a pineapple upside cake + had it for breakfast for the next two weeks.
// visited new mexico for a wedding! we went on a breaking bad tour + jeff posted a lot of photos of himself on his instagram, ha! he is a mega-fan of the series + l o v e d new mexico more than most people probably do. but look at that view! also they had a bahama bucks so i was happy.
// took this really awful picture.

// visited sundance with my grandma, mama, + sister. the views! the. views. it was soooo pretty. sure do love these women in my life.

// helped move by sister in at byu-idaho + took a little pit stop in stanley, idaho to visit redfish lake! so. so. so. pretty. it was practically empty there.

// my fam came down for general conference! ...now that i'm blogging this, i'm realizing that my family has visited a. lot. these past couple of months. ha. sorry jeffrey. just kidding ;).

// went to MOTHER FREAKING new york city! oh. my. gosh. it was the time of my life! i went to take my friend lily's engagement pictures which is like, the coolest thing ever + she was the best host + i had so much fun + i can't wait to go back in a few weeks + i'm so happy we are friends + the brooklyn bridge! + the top of the one world trade center at night!!!!! + i don't even care that this is the longest run-on sentence in the history of run-on sentences because I WENT TO NEW YORK!!!!!!!!!!!!! all the exclamation points. okay i'm done now.

// celebrated this cutie's birthday.
// carved pumpkins. mine was...horrible.
// celebrated the first snowfall!
// obsessed over the leaves. all the leaves. so pretty.
(i'm losing steam here. are you still scrolling?!?!!!!!!)

// and now we're back. let's never do this again?

p.s. today i am flying back to idaho to shoot a wedding this weekend! pray i don't freeze!

'member when i said...

remember when i said the broncos got their butt whooped? 

he's not transparent or anything...

womp womp. 

denver, colo{rad}o

get it? colo{rad}o. ha. i try hard.

this weekend we went to denver for a broncos game with kenna + kevin.
they mentioned they were going to the game about a month ago + we instantly invited ourselves + then pretended like that was the plan the whole time. if there's one piece of advice i can offer : always invite yourself. also always carry gum + stop staring.

anyways! we arrived saturday night + headed to dinner followed by dessert at little man ice cream. so. so. so. good. i got vegan munchies + salted peanut butter cup + did not regret it despite the frigid temps outside. it was actually so good that we went back the following night + braved the line + weather.

we went to brunch the next morning at a place in the lohi neighborhood called linger. so, highly recommend. kenna + i split hangover ramen + breakfast dosa + everyone at the table was jealous of our ordering powers. did you know i am the most food jealous person ever? i hate not ordering the best.

then the game! go broncos! go football! ra-ra-ra! it was kind of a flop. peyton got hurt? or something? + sat out for most of the game + we sort of, definitely got our butts kicked. on the bright side, the concessions were top notch (we inhaled two hot dogs, a plate of nachos, a soft pretzel + a coke) + the national anthem made me cry because america! home of the brave! god bless it!

we made it back ALIVE this afternoon. i was white-knuckling the back seat for about two hours. driving on snow will always always scare me.

thanks for letting us be mooch-y, kenna + kevin! go broncos! go football! ra-ra-ra!

p.s. felt like this for most the game (click here).
sports!

p.p.s. please do not get used to these high quality photos. ;)

-----

i've learned that people will forget what you said, 

people will forget what you did,

but people will never forget how you made them feel.

- maya angelou 

ramblings from a thursday evening.

- - - - -

please appreciate this super artsy picture from my photo booth.

i call it 'jeff! come over here + put your arm around me!' :

jeff + i are completely obsessed with the gilmore girls. right now we are watching the one with the rory + the dean + the opening of the dragonfly inn. have you seen it?! season four? i'm totally siding with lorelai on this one! like, rory! what? also dean! what? i'm equal parts angry + so, so sad that rory is so lost + confused.

anyways.

today was my day-off from the retail world (falalala!) + i went to the bookstore in search of a highly recommended parenting book then felt overwhelmed because inadequacy! sleep training! emotions! how to be like a parisian! + ended up in the kids' section with my large soda. of course i bought a hard copy of wonder + made an amazon order for where the wild things are. currently these are the only items i have for my child but what more do you need? (...crib, swaddles, carseat, burp rags...). oh! and my breasts! i have those too! books + breasts! i. am. set. 

also. i feel like these two things should be noted :

i saw the martian today alone. a movie by yourself in the afternoon is the best way to treat yo'self. you can arrive uncomfortably early to make sure you catch all the movie trivia questions + previews  (joy with j-law looks so good). it was so! good! + surprisingly so funny. also i cried like five times.

i had the craziest hankering for a roasted veggie burrito today which is weird because where did that come from? let it be known that it was the best burrito i've ever had. ever.

the end. 

wouldn't you know??!!!

wouldn't you know? these pictures are from this summer. we drove to
albion basin loaded up on swig cookies + drinks with nikki + paige +
i told everyone in the car, mark my words, "guys, i think i'm pregnant!"

...and then everyone laughed at me because i had taken three pregnancy
tests that came up negative already + there was just no way.
but guess what? I WAS PREGNANT. i knew it! dollar store tests, be darned!

from halloween --

from halloween where we ordered a sh'load of indian food + tried to stifle our laughter while watching the visit.

spoiler : the twist was good but so many of the other scenes? the diaper?(!!!!!!!) the rapping? so much grandma butt?
m. night shyamalan just can not write convincing characters anymore.

p.s. people! watch scream queens!

sixteen weeks!

- - - - - -
today at work, someone actually asked me if i was lactating yet. hahahahah. i am starting to believe that some people truly think pregnancy is some sort of disease or invitation to ask any question ever. also, no. not lactating...though i am growing a third arm + sweat profusely (...the last part is sadly true).

but i'm sixteen weeks! dude is as big as an avocado + my butt is as big as an elephant so thumbs up all around! also have i mentioned how much i love avocados? also is avocado toast the new donut? i'm on to something.

bonus jonas! my avocado toast + egg from this morning.
awwww yeah.

just look at that yolk run, people.

- - - - - - -

a happy picture + some words about being happy.

a happy picture of us happily dancing this summer.

...very much ripped off from kenna's wedding photographer...

it's fine. we're fine. 

i'm so happy to be happy. earlier this year, things were heavy + we had to work hard.

like. so hard.

i was very much depressed + completely checked out. it was pretty awful. 

but we came out on top! (exclamation point)(...i made it sound easy but refer back to hard work)

 and i now have a testimony of working hard +

seeking help when you need it + of being honest and owning your feelings. 

 also of comfortable couches in counseling offices + of having no shame -- when you need help, 

go get it! it's the most important thing in the world.

(bonus! you can feel like a celebrity + drop phrases like, 

"well, my therapist said..." + really freak people out)

also of good friends + a stupidly supportive family. 

this is all long way to say : i don't feel bad about ripping off this happy picture

because i deserve it, dammit. i'll be gushy if i want to be. 

mckevin ties the knot! // NASHVILLE, TN

just a little throwback because my posterity needs to know this! this needs to be on the internet! this was the wedding of the year + the south will rise again!

it was no secret that i was so excited for nashville. not only do i love weddings but two of my favorite people were getting married AND i got to see the south + pretend to be connie britton a la rayna james for like, a week straight. i. was. pumped.

we flew in on monday night + stayed at a house outside of nashville. there was a walking trail that ran alongside the cumberland river + it made for the most beautiful morning walks. actually i am making this sound too romantic. it was beautiful but i partially feared for my life a few times + got lost like, every day. also there was a turtle! that was cool. 

jeff + i explored nashville the next day. i texted me friend alaina (hi alaina!) who goes to belmont(!!!!) for a list of things i needed to see + we tried to hit everything up. we went to music row + honky tonk central + the country music hall of fame + some park. the parthenon? in nashville? that feels right. at one point it started pouring rain + it was all so very 'sweet home alabama' (also known as the most underrated movie ever).

the kofords were the best hosts. they took us to the grand ole opry (!!!!!!) where we watched thomas rhett play + i almost cried out of sheer excitement. it was amazing. nashville is so cool. they danced + clapped + totally put up with my squeals. the next day we went to pizza + the yummiest ice cream place with their family again. they were so, so nice + so, so cool. kenna! your family! the best! also they're not in this picture because they were being super nice people + grabbing our tickets while i insisted on this photo opp. i am the actual worst.

my calendar is all messed up but there was also a welcome party? and the yummiest cake i have ever tasted? and at one point we went to a museum + painted + an aquarium? also we had a dance lesson? this is all a blur.

and then the wedding!!!!!!

i don't care that this is lengthy because the wedding!

it was the most gorgeous day + mckenna looked so pretty + all the flowers were so good + the food was amazing + they had the best band ever + it was just. so. fun. like, not kidding. we danced all night long + everyone was majorly sweating from all the partying + i could talk about it all day long. wedding of the freakin' year. also the ring ceremony! in my mind there was a harpist? is this true? it was like, angelic + the pictures are so good. fifteen thousand thumbs up.

three months later but congratulations to kenna + kevin + THANK YOU for the best time in nashville! ...nashville, nashville, nashville. i could talk about it all day.

also thank you to the stapletons for housing me + feeding me + putting up with the fact that i was unexplainably soooooo tired all. the. time. (...i could actually be on i didn't know i was pregnant. more on this later)

happy birthday to my jeffrey d.!

- - - - - - -

today is my jeffrey's birthday! he's now officially in his 'late twenties' but please don't bring that up. he's still recovering from realizing that him + taylor swift are the same age. something about the fact that she already owns like, fifteen houses or something? minor details! minor details!

we celebrated today + i gifted him allllll of his favorite foods. because of my lack of self-control around gushers + the fact refined sugar makes me like, so cranky we never have junk food in our house. our pantry is the lamest + would make ten year olds cry with its lack of -ito's + cookies + poptarts. BUT NO LONGER! junk food galore! eighty dollars worth! you're welcome!

but one more time, happy birthday to jeff! he is the funniest, most patient + kindest person. he is easy to please (wink)(but actually being serious. his request today : boxed mashed potatoes, frozen peas + a pineapple upside down cake. shockingly white trash), easy-going + ...also he is very forgiving because i royally messed up his favorite meal, chicken crescents. woops. he is my happy place + my steady. and today he is twenty six!

...now go write on his facebook wall or something.

yep, i'm pregnant(!!!!!!!!!!).

WELL HELLO! now i feel like i can finally blog. i wanted to keep my pregnancy under wraps for as loooooong as possible + felt like anything i ever drafted out felt so...maternal. and transparent. it was like, 'today is great + I AM GROWING A PERSON + i love diet coke. kardashians.'

but now i'm here! and pregnant!
i am so, so excited + already so, so protective. in my dream world, i would escape to an island + have a viewing ceremony three years later + everyone's hands would be thoroughly sanitized + my kid would probably still be in a glass case. IT IS WEIRD. I KNOW. and no, it's not because 'i am ashamed, or something?' -- thank you stranger on a plane for asking. how dare you. also please excuse me because i have to pee for the sixteenth time on this red eye flight. nope. honestly, i just felt like it was SO important + i was SO excited + whenever i actually care about something, i have a r e a l l y hard time talking about it.

it's all a complex, I KNOW. i could tell a perfect stranger about the one time i *may or may not have* had a complete stomach explosion while driving my brother-in-law's car 70 mph in exercise pants. but ask me what i want to do in five years or about my family/marriage/religion? crickets.

this all a long way to say : nope, not ashamed(????? still so floored at that comment). in fact! SO EXCITED! like, i think about being a mom + what is the best stroller? am i eating enough? can you order hand sanitizer by the truck load? what should i name him? what is he going to be like? is he going to be cute? will he like me? how do i discipline? these are my thoughts. all day long. i. can't. wait. i am so lame.

...but also do you want to hear about the time i had a complete stomach explosion while driving my brother-in-law's car...?