Life in Idaho according to my iPhone ||

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I am currently watching the Where Are They Now? final episode of 90 Day Fiance while lying in bed and poof! a commercial comes on announcing Stacy London's new show, Love Lust or Run. This PLEASES me. I love Stacy London like I love Bethenny Frankel -- in fact, I used to sort of think they were the same person + thought of them interchangeably. After typing out this whole paragraph, I am realizing it is pointless...much like the second 'n' in Bethenny. How superfluous.

Where am I going with this? 

...

...

Anyways? Life. Christmas break. 

I saw this tweet today that said, "We are at the point of Christmas break where you just feel like you are unemployed + living with your mom." AMEN. This is the life. Sort of.

Here are some of the highs of break thus far :

Family Bunko tournament (heated) || Shooting guns with a sort of stranger
 (...random. But so fun.) || Catching Jeff spooning my dog (hahahahahaha) ||
Acai bowls for breakfast || Having my grandma here from San Diego -- she is. a. hoot.
I love that woman + her thick Brooklyn accent || Long drives to Sonic to get my dirty
 Diet Coke fix || Breakfast Club bacon || Walking my dog in sub zero weather with
 only the sounds of old school Usher + T.I. to keep me warm ||
 A pantry of FOOD! Is this adulthood?! || Having everyone home ||
 Attempting (and failing) to win the favorite aunt award || CABLE! ||

WOOT! 

Jeff + I are going camping in a yurt tomorrow in seriously 7 degree weather. This should be interesting.

GOODNIGHT to you, and you, and you. 

TUBBS HILL, CDA IDAHO + pictures of my face

FIRST : Merry Day After Christmas! We had such a good one with family/friends/Seinfeld (Jeff was gifted all the seasons...my family thinks I am a touch Kramer but I want to be full Elaine! Let me live!). More on this later.

IN CASE YOU WERE WONDERING : No, I haven't changed my outfit since I have arrived in Idaho. Why change something that is c l e a r l y working? (...though my mom did hint lightly today that the washing machine is free upstairs so if you want to wash your clothes, feel free! Noted mama, noted)

Today we went to Coeur d' Alene (I will never not have to spellcheck that...) to go eagle watching (...no, I'm serious. How cool, right?!) + hike/walk Tubb's Hill. It was SO COLD but Jeff spotted like, fifteen eagles that mysteriously disappeared every time I looked. I spotted seven seagulls + thought they were eagles every. single. time. I brought my camera + THUS : PICTURES!

...Jeff was supposed to be in this.

...and there he is. 

Where is my neck? I look like a giant thumb.

Also hi tonsils.

Jeff. Loves. Nature.

How pretty, right? We listened to Serial on the drive + I AM HOOKED. Who did it?!?!

And that's it.

I know.

So many pictures of my face.

ELK CREEK FALLS || Idaho

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Just a whole bunch of pictures.

I woke Jeff up this morning to continue my Tour de Idaho. Well, my brief attempt at one.

We headed to small town Elk River to hike Elk Creek Falls + get some fresh air. Or something.

This is me telling our volunteer photographer to get more waterfall + less me.

And this is Jeff smiling through my bossiness.

Someone get this guy a steak.

Brooke in Nature in XL Puffer Vest is the name of this work of art.

Discuss.

Jeff is pregnant with gloves, keys, and cell phones + I am a celebrity

who was not ready for paparazzi.

Tell me you see it? 

IDAHO! 

Sometimes I like you.

Also you are welcome for the high-quality pictures. 

P.S. Christmas is near.

WAHOO! 

A garage photoshoot, y'all.

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Sometimes these things happen.

GARAGE PHOTOSHOOT!

Just roll with it or roll your eyes at Jeff's ham sandwich-ness.

P.S. THREE DAYS TILL CHRISTMAS!

A little of our week -- IDAHO

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Woof! Finals are over (for Jeff. I'm currently enrolled in The School of Life...or something, ha) + I am finally seeing Jeff for more than two minutes every morning. We are up in Idaho for the holidays + have been thoroughly soaking up the free time, homemade cookies + cable.

Whenever we are in Moscow, I am reminded just how sweet this little small town of mine is...and become obsessed with making Jeff fall in love with it. Ha. I waltz him around to all my favorite places in town + act like I am working on the Jungle Cruise at Disneyland - "Now if you look to your left, we have the Co-Op with the yummiest pesto rolls + DID YOU KNOW Josh Ritter is from Moscow? And the kid in Super8? And Josh Peck was spotted in our Starbucks once?"

It's all very animated.

(when my dad saw the above picture he was relieved that I didn't actually take a picture while the play was going on then when we saw the bottom picture, he sighed in disappointment. Woops.)

Anyways, since we have been here, we have eaten at the Bagel Shop (Jeff rated it a perfect ten -- WHAT?!) + Mikey's Gyros (order the SubLamb with Leapin' Lizard sauce...so, so good), seen the Christmas Carol at the University, watched It's a Wonderful Life in the cutest movie house, and banked far too many hours doing puzzles. No. But seriously. At this very moment, Jeff is upstairs doing a puzzle with my grandma + parents. 

Now time for SNL. Because CABLE. Also One Direction.

It's fine.

We're fine.

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IN MY DREAMS (scroll, scroll, scroll) ...

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In my dreams :

I live on a lake in a humble house that is perpetually dirty + perpetually full of family.
There's a giant yard, littered with bikes and towels and sandals and soccer balls, where everyone gathers on Fourth of July to watch fireworks + a fire pit where the art of s'more making is perfected. There are hiking trails surrounding my house + my kids occupy them weekly with their friends and four-wheelers. There's an outdoor fridge stocked with icy Diet Cokes + popsicles + fresh strawberries. My skin is tanned + freckled + Jeff wears a lot of flannels and grows his beard out.
Also there's a Sonic/Target within walking distance.
And great cell reception.
And the Kardashians are still a thing.
And my parents + siblings live down the street + we go for long walks
every morning + they never EVER get sick of it.
And I have a set of twin boys + like, 11 other moderately behaved
children who find me SO FUNNY + slow clap every time I walk in a room.

Mmmm.

Oh please, no. // CRINGE WORTHY MOMENTS

Sometimes I feel like cringe-worthy moments just surround me. Truly. I remember one year, my friend Morgan and I were mooned every time we were in the car together alone. SERIOUSLY. I think in total, we were mooned eleven times. We were so used to people flashing their booties at us while driving that it seemed like NOTHING when it would happen. Actually, that's a lie. The sight of a stranger's butt gives me the shivers. Always.

I digress.

A cringe-worthy moment :

Today at work, a lady outright and confidently asked me if I was pregnant. Actually, she told me I was. "YOU ARE PREGNANT! When are you due?!"

No. No. No. No. No.

I could hear the words being formed in her mouth before she said them + I wanted to shout "FIRE!!!!" or start tap dancing or do anything to distract her from asking the most forbidden question. Ever.

I lied and told her that I had just eaten a lot of bread? Or something? Maybe it's my shirt? 

She scrambled to recover + told me it wasn't because I was biiiiiig, maybe it was just the wind? Maybe it the way I smelled? Maybe she was thinking of someone else?

After two long minutes of silence, she piped :

"Well you are glowing like a pregnant person."

A small consolation? 

I'll take it.

And another because it's Monday :

I was helping an older man find a sweater for his grand-daughter for an hour or so + after hunting down the perfect one (a Tommy Bahama half zip in coral. Ha.), I asked what size he thought she would be. 

He immediately starts staring at my boobs + scrunches his face. Meanwhile, I am wondering : is he doing what I think he is doing? Is he getting pervy old man on me?

Finally, after a minute of boob-oogling, he says, "Well, she's a bit more endowed then you, if you can believe it...maybe a size up!"

...if I can believe it?

So you were doing what I thought you were doing.

...and now I zip up my sweater + refuse to help you to your car. 

SUNDAY SOMETHING // #heisthegift

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I love, love, love the Christmas season. I won't lie + say that I don't love all the commercialized parts : gift-giving, Christmas lights, peppermint bark, Santa Clause. Something about it just makes me giddy. But after December 25th I am pretty much exhausted of commercialized Christmas and ready to move on; I am so not loyal! I start plotting for summer + swear off egg nog forever.
It's true.
But things like this? Things that show the true meaning of Christmas...I DIE over. I really do. And I don't want to swear it off after the clock strikes midnight on the 25th. I love that the holiday season gives us an obvious + easy reason to be more Christlike; more giving, more charitable, more selfless. I love remembering in the hustle and bustle of trying to find the PERFECT GIFT that the real gift is Christ + that we are remembering and celebrating Him. Am I right, or am I right?

This is all one long way of saying : Merry Christmas, I love this video, Happy Sunday, and g'night!

pits + peaks //

PITS : seeing Jeff for maybe 15 minutes every morning in passing. Today he said we had to hug for twenty whole seconds because we actually never see each other. We lasted 12 before one of us...well, tooted. Ha. // not sleeping...I might need to cut back on the caffeine. // Forgetting my lunch forever and always. // Watching lame shows that no one else watches so I can't discuss them ad nauseam (90 Day Fiance? Anybody?) // Breaking out because of my new Clarisonic (apparently that's a sign it's working? Maybe? Internet, don't fail me). // Having a mountainous pile of laundry to sort through. I am overwhelmed! // Uncomfortable shoes on concrete floor all. day. long.

PEAKS : my birthday! I was feelin' the love. // My dad's cute email yesterday. // Bacon + eggs for breakfast three days in a row, hoorah! // Having a new go-to drink at Sodalicious // sweet Kenna packing us snacks on our trek back from St. George // A long lunch with Rose // visits from Avery // the next Bridget Jones Diary // Key + Peele on Hulu. Ha! // watching all of Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee // 'fancy' sweatpants that are work appropriate // spying on my friends on Spotify // holiday music (particularly Beyonce's Christmas tunes which we play at work) // ripe pears // talks with my mom + sister on my commute // the beautiful (yet confusing) weather we have been having (why is it so warm? Is the world ending?) // city league basketball in American Fork with my cousins

SHOPGIRL

Oh, the life of real employment. I missed it (the discount). 

Just kidding. But can we please start calling me SHOPGIRL? Please and thanks. 

And no, not hiding in the dressing room.

Never.

(P.S. Come visit me at work + hear my super peppy retail voice! 

Mildly horrifying but, hey.)

A double mirror selfie because, hey. I'm not above it.
And that is exactly the time of quality you get on this blog.
Don't forget it.

...also it looks like I have a twin! Like Mary Kate and Ashley. Ashley is clearly the peppier, more-fed one on the left while Mary Kate is all sad. And hungry. Mostly hungry.

THE END.

2 people at Applebee's who don't really want to be at Applebee's...

Last Saturday, Jeff picked me up after a particularly grueling shift at work (how grueling can retail be, you ask? You haven't seen how badly thirteen year olds can destroy a dressing room, have you?! Have mercy!) + declared it was time to eat dinner.

"How about Chinese?"

"Or burgers? I'm in the mood for a burger."

"Maybe Thai food?"

"What about Cheesecake Factory?"

"...I hear there's a yummy Mexican restaurant downtown..."

...this continued for five minutes until we looked across 

the street and saw Applebee's.

Applebee's?

It was a booty call of sorts. Convenient. Open. Ten feet away.

The food was...Applebee's + our waiter told us he thought the 

Frugal Gourmet was a pedophile + we just scratched our heads and ate.

Applebee's, guys.

IT'S MY PARTY // 22 years, people.

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Today is my 22nd birthday(!!!!). 

I remember being ten + thinking by the time I was 22 I would surely have

three kids + graying hair + a four-car garage. I used to think 22 was 

so old. Now that I'm here + reporting live, I can firmly say : 

I still feel like a 10 year old.

But my birthday! Today was great. In classic Brooke fashion, I locked my keys in 

my car this morning...spoiling my day full of errands + TREAT YO SELF-NESS. Ha. But you know what? I am glad I did. Today was full of long (LONG!) walks to get my caffeine fix + long baths (yes, plural) to be extra indulgent + long sessions on the couch, catching up on all the television I have missed these past couple weeks. And then Jeff came home! I ran to him like a puppy to its owner -- KEYS! CAR! LET'S GO! We went to Alamexo in SLC where I decided I, for no reason at all, wanted to be the most favorite person in the restaurant + tried to win the love of our waiter (have you ever had that desire? Sometimes I get the itch; I imagine the waiter going back to the kitchen and bragging about how they have the best table ever + how they are so lucky -- ONE DAY!). We dined on fresh guacamole, corn, salsa, and enchiladas. Oh! And the best churros I have ever had in. my. whole. life. 

We ended the night on Temple Square where I begged gaggles of adolescents to take our picture. Ha. Twenty points Jeff for obliging and for twinning with me.
(also, let it be noted, he started my birthday fiesta with a plate of salty, burnt bacon...MY MAN!)

(If you don't like your bacon burnt to a crisp, you ain't livin'...)

...and now, finally (this was going to happen eventually)...

I'M FEELIN' 22! 

Ha...

I've waited all year to say that. 

Anticlimactic. 

Candid. //

OH. You thought we were sharing this?

Mmmm.

Walking + reading intellectual girl : not achieved.

Having fun isn't hard... 

When you have a library card!

Unless you live in Utah, home of the ever-changing weather 

(seriously, 22 degrees quickly turns into 58 degrees!)

and you decide to walk to the library wearing your huge parka, a fleece sweater,

a thick beanie, and your thermal socks. 

SO SWEATY. SO UNCOMFORTABLE.

SO focused on trying to read while walking...

not because I really wanted to read, but because I wanted people to see

and think : Wow! What a cute + intellectual girl...

Walking AND reading. 

Hrmph.