christmas break has been a time in which an early breakfast leads to a later breakfast that induces mid-day snacking that turns into lunch which calls for a second, more suitable lunch which compels an early dinner which, in turn, constitutes a large-yet-completely-rational helping of ice cream and chocolate-covered pretzels because “i basically didn’t eat dinner.” wait, what? the closest i have gotten to touching a scale was when i peed next to one and even that was enough for me. the white square undoubtedly full of disappointment evoked brief feelings of food-guilt…
 
…that led to a visit to the hole-in-the-wall pizza parlor in moscowland and a large slice of baked potato pizza (thank you, pie hole!) and a vow to use a different toilet because, after all, christmas break is no time for ill feelings!
p.s. to swimsuit season: I AM SORRY.