unemployed woes, but who am i kidding?

ah, the life of an unemployed twenty-year old. 

it's actually not all too eventful. aren't most twenty-year olds mostly unemployed, anyways?

but i actually made dinner today. and did all the laundry. jeff stapleton raised his brows at me + gave me a look that said, you should stay unemployed forever! 

but probably he meant, i want sex. 

ha! just kidding grandma. just kidding.

triple crossing my fingers that our children inherit his pouty lips + eyes. and also his facial hair because, woof. combine that with my hairy nature + our kids will be shaving at the age of four and i'm fairly certain we will land a TLC show with that plot right there.

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p.s. my father-in-law (dan, dan, the fix-it man!) + my jeffrey have watched breaking bad every night this week on the couch and my heart sort of melts. breaking bad is truly the bridge from father + son to heisenberg + pinkman. i'm fairly certain they will open up a car wash together here soon ;).

a story about fire and wednesdays and junior high ... SUBTITLE : today.

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so, today i was fired from my job.

or, sort of. it was more like a 'you aren't willing to work full-time this fall due to school // you've asked for a total of two months off this summer // what exactly do you do here anyways and why haven't we figured this out sooner?!' but i can't be too specific because i'm almost certain that i signed a paper saying that i wouldn't disclose all the details? let's just say it was one of those junior high relationships headed for dumpville -- they just beat me to the punch in blurting out, "you wear a watch with your basketball shorts and i just can't do this anymore!!" (they didn't actually say that. but in junior high i did dump a boy because of it.)

believe it or don't, this isn't the first time i was fired from a job (the h.r. man corrected me saying that i was terminated. but doesn't that sound so much worse?!). in ninth grade i worked as a concessionaire at the pool and kiiiiind of was the worst employee there. one time i even napped under a pool towel. also i think i took the 'free frozen yogurt' incentive a bit too seriously. wait, no. on second thought, that wasn't free...

i remember when i was fired, or invited to resign, rather, i found the whole thing so comical. i remember looking + thinking of ways to make this funnier. what if i just let out a blood-curdling scream? noooooo! or refused to leave? or took all my clothes off + attempted to sit on my manager's lap? one last lap in the pool? pass out? what if i pretended to have short term memory loss + came into work the next day, handing out churros + pounding down the free frozen yogurt?! my lanta.

while i didn't do any of the aforementioned, this morning was kind of comical. for starters, when i was asked to go to the board-room right away for a meeting, i kept trying to get on the internet at my desk because i hadn't checked twitter all day long + i had blogs to catch up on + the reasons for my termination are becoming all so crystal clear?

hehe.

anyways, the meeting went quickly + at one point i am fairly certain i shouted out hallelujah! + i even went as far as to say that i had been praying about what to do and they just answered my prayers, thank you thank you thank you.

i did a little skip-hop out the door + didn't look back.
but actually i did because i left my lunch in the fridge and you don't give up leftovers that easy.
oh heck no.

i feel free.
but, like. who's hiring? ;)

also it's wednesday. note to self : don't craft out a title before actually writing any content. 
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here + there.

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hi, hello.
midst my laundry list of pet peeve -- when did this happen? when did i become a cranky old woman?! but actually, no apologies. why are crop tops still being made + why must people still be mixing up their/there/they're?! -- is my annoyance for the 'bad blogger' apology. i have made it a handful of times and cringe every time i hit publish. who am i apologizing too, anyways? and what constitutes a bad blogger? is their a mother blog that is wagging her finger at me scolding me for my leave of absence and over use of cell phone pictures? i think not. i think not!

i took a big, fat leave of absence from blogging. mostly because i was busy and partly because who reads blogs in the summer anyways?! (answer : i do.) i feel like i've been pulled in fifteen thousand different directions + that my butt is starting to take the form of my car seat. (not car-seat, you imbecile! i am not a baby! hehehe.) in the past three weeks, i've been to moscow, seattle, moscow, utah, california, utah, and back to moscow next monday. eeks! although all this traveling and craziness has been a bit of a detriment to my personal health (i think i am starting to sweat diet dr. pepper + this weekend i was up for twenty four hours. TWENTY FOUR!), i love, love it.

eww, what? people are probably reading this expecting me to say something crazy. like, 'i'm pregnant!' or 'i'm a closet alcoholic!' ...bible, this is just a long not-apology. it's an explanation, rather. to any one that has been trying to get a hold of me : i am sorry. ha. no, seriously.

...this is the part where i scratch my head and ask myself, where exactly was i going with this? 
oh, right. cell phone pictures and a catch-up!
well, a half-hearted one. 

:: i chopped my hair off. yahooligans! i decided on a thursday that i wanted my hair off my head. off with you! by a stroke of luck, i got in friday morning and badda-bing, badda-bam...collar-bone happiness! i sort of feel like a mom with this hair? which isn't a bad thing because, oh. how my ovaries ache. a friend of a friend (vague) at a wedding told my friend (vaguer) that i was like, "that cool mom that teenagers can talk to." eh? i'll take it! even though i'm seven years younger than you and kiiiiiind of regretting my outfit now? do you like my shades shirt?

:: i slowly became a low-budget porn start. my name at my job was originally 'jeff's wife' (nepotism! we support it!) then it went to 'brooke' then 'brookie' then 'brookie cookie' and now it's just 'cookie.' which is cute nickname no? well, yes. but when people start believing that's your real name, oh heavens. i have had to start wearing the highest cut tops and makeup with no glitter because i'm 75% certain they are going to start thinking i'm a stripper. sorry to any readers named cookie...

:: i signed up for classes. i'm going back to school! validate me?  you were taking a break from school, brooke? yes. yes, i was. i had a big fat quarter-life crisis where i dropped all my journalism classes + decided that i wanted to be a health teacher. because who better to teach teenagers about gonorrhea + birth control? am i right? anyways, i'm back this semester! everyone throw a parade + make sure i get my homework done this time?

:: i celebrated my one year anniversary. more on that later. i love mah boy.

:: my sis went home. more on that later, too. i love mah sister. and she made varsity soccer! paige made varsity! kick flip! come come on the kick-drum!

:: i got locked in a bathroom + had to put my feet up on the toilet and text for help. back to work! my company switched the bathrooms up for whatever reason + forgot to inform the employees. or maybe they did and we all just didn't read the email? anyways, i went into the right (or was it the wrong?) bathroom and started to do my business when i heard all these men walk in. crap, crap, crap. it was a two-stall bathroom and there was at least six of them. double crap. i sat there quietly and put my feet on the toilet + texted my melissa friend for help. the guys just. kept. waiting. what?! isn't there a bathroom code here? you do not wait out other people's business! you just don't! isn't there a bathroom upstairs? it was horrifying.

:: i offended a business woman horribly + kind of wanted to die. ugh, i am still so embarrassed over this. i had to take photos of small business owners for my job + was so nervous at my first shoot that i just. kept. talking. at one point in the shoot, i said something about women in the workforce (something i totally support!) and it sounded weird and questioning and so do you not see your kids very much then? you guys. i didn't mean it. i didn't! i was just so nervous! the whole day was one big flop. my partner in the project even started auditioning right then and there? it. was. awkward.

:: i accepted the fact that i am not five feet seven inches. because i'm not. dangit.

:: i saw my family more than any person who is, at the very least, 652 miles away from immediate family should. my family on both sides have been in and out of provo + we have been in and out of idaho/california. it's been so nice + fun + has solidified the fact that i want eleven kids. ha. we have been so well fed + well stocked on toilet paper (my in-laws just brought us a box of the cottonelle wipes! living. large.).

:: i ran a marathon. no, no i didn't. but wouldn't that be fun?! remember when i thought that was going to be my thing?! some day, some day.

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so there. 
don't wave that finger at me, mama blog. 

my guy.

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this summer has been so good to me. like, mind-boggling type good. sure, there's been some thing that haven't gone accordingly to plan and some weeks we just sit at home and watch vampire diaries (correction: jeff watches vampire diaries) and eat english muffins but hey! for the most part it has been wonderful. and really, doesn't every one want a week or two of netflix + carbohydrates? thought so.

last night as i was editing a wedding at my ikea desk that jeff had set up hours earlier, i felt content. it was most probably because i was listening to lana del rey with my bra off, but that's besides the point. i could hear jeff chatting to morgan + paige about vampires in the other room and are you really team stephan? i could have sat there forever. i feel so happy where i am at in my life right now. ewww, am i getting sappy here? i don't even know. blame it on the lana.

this summer has been such an indicator to me of how little it takes to feel happiness. i have realized that all it actually takes is my jeffrey. aw, my jeffrey. i could write a sonnet about him. or five sonnets because remember how they are only fourteen lines! ha! for a long while, i thought we were so peculiar. we just aren't super blog cute, you know? seldom does he write me ballads about the way my hair flows in the wind or bring me waffles in bed just because i was such a delight to sleep next to. actually, no that has never happened (i'm a bed hog. oops). nor has he ever walked in the door with an arm full of flowers and a puppy or three.

but woof. he does so much more than that. i didn't realize that i needed a jeff stapleton, but guys! i needed one. he supports all of my wild and ever-changing dreams (for example, in one week i said i want to be a magazine writer! and then i want to be a health teacher! and he said "do it. you'd be awesome!" to both of 'em without even flinching. he was even mildly sincere). i feel like he is my springboard. you know? before i always felt this rush of nerves when i was starting something new; what if i fail?! what will people think!? but with jeff around, i know that even if i am the worst wedding photographer in. the. world, he will still be there at the end of the day. probably in basketball shorts and a button down because that's how jeff stapleton lounges?

he's my guy. he gets my need for commotion all around me (let's go to idaho! let's go to michigan! let's move! let's go to california!), but also gets that i get over-whelmed at the thought of packing and if the bed is not made in the morning, my life is sort of over.
he just gets me. or at least pretends to. i'm a complex human, you know?

awww. i just adore him. he brings out my sappy bone that will start admitting how much i want babies and a garden and why are bunnies so cute?! he makes me huggy and lovey and makes me feel like my quirks are totally okay. no really, they're fine!

and i'm done. i'm done! it's just that the world needs more jeff stapleton's. he's just a good egg. and mine. maha!

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this post actually was supposed to be a love note to july but hey, our one year anniversary is tomorrow so this seems fitting? eh?