therapeutic thankfulness.

as of the past seven hours, it has been awfully easy to get all entangled in the negative. like that there’s never any toilet paper in my stall of choice, or that i have a large zit on the inside of my nose that aches every time i inhale sharply, or that i have to skip the kook’s concert tonight to write a fatty research paper on a topic i basically hate.

but, hmmm, anyways…

oh yes: being thankful.

it’s times like these that i have to stop and make a little mental list about the things i am thankful for. well, after i stop and make a little mental list of the people i want to kick in the head repeatedly.

thus: my mental(…but not, because i am typing it…just go with me) list about things i am thankful for! (you guys don’t get to see my ‘kick-in-the-head’ list, sillies!)(okay…a teaser: my jogging teacher. for making the jogging final so dang hard! i have failed it twice already and still have yet to pass it but…uh…) ready, go!

i am terribly thankful for my family. my parents were truly hand-selected just for me. and i love that my mother is one of my best friends in the entire world and that she didn’t veto the idea of eating frozen yogurt for lunch for 10 days straight. and that i have a father that i find so funny (DON’T tell him…) and has an uncanny way with words. and that he loves my mom so darn much and treats her like the queen of the world. i am thankful that i have younger siblings that i look up to because they are so sweet and kind (but not too sweet or too kind…because that would be nauseating!) and hilarious. and quirky…you guys are weird. i am thankful that they will play endless games of ‘true colors’ and b.s. with me (oh, and i am thankful for paige for introducing me to popcorn with brown sugar and frozen bananas with peanut butter and chocolate…and for having skinny legs that i can pretend are genetic). 

i am grateful for my older brothers that are way smarter than i’ll ever be. and also more patient. and kind. and just all-around better people than i am. ha. also i am grateful that they have both lead lives that i can earn serious cool-points over (“yeah, my brother’s in a band…”; “not a big deal buttttt my brother speaks the cambodian language fluently…”). and i am also thankful for all of my cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents. for being cooky and weird and supportive and protective and attractive(no seriously, both sides of my family are good-looking bunches). and that they do things like leave nice comments and meet me at greyhound bus stops at 6:00 a.m. to make sure i am of the living and bring me diet coke and mcdonald’s oatmeal (holy, thank you aunt jill!).

i am grateful for my friends, both here and there and everywhere. i am grateful that you guys know how to make me ugly laugh and how to console me when i ugly cry(why are all of my extreme emotions so…ugly?). and that you guys understand how important courtesy laughing is to my self-esteem and that i will inevitably eat off your plates. and that i like to do really boring things like go to costco and grocery shop. and that you guys make it so fun that it feels like a trip to disneyland!

i am thankful for the big dude upstairs. i am thankful that he has this plan for me (pleeeeease say it involves ryan gossling somehow!) and knows me by name. and that he listens to my sometimes super petty prayers about not getting fat ankles or running into someone that’s good-looking on campus. and that he, you know, created the world and stuff.

i am thankful for being HERE, right now. well, not really here HERE…seeing as i am in the library and the library tends to make me all anxious and itchy…but HERE. at byu. surrounded by smarty pants, happy people. at a university that pushes me (SO, so hard) but also lets me take really fun classes like cooking, volleyball, and photography (next semester! eeeep!). and that byu puts up lots of pretty christmas lights and plays christmas music.  

hmmm…i guess i am thankful for my job. actually, i am. i am thankful that i HAVE one and that it works so well around my schedule and that i work with nice people who tease me endlessly about my outfit choices. and that the job title makes me sound all fancy. and sometimes i get free food.  

i am thankful that i have so much to look forward to. my upcoming birthday, winter break where i can see all of my friends from home, christmas, and studying in italy next fall!

i am thankful that i am 18 and nine-tenths and that the biggest of my worries are getting rid of the inner nose-zit (any suggestions?), waking up on time, and fighting the freshman fifteen…or hiding it…i am thankful for layering, too.  

…and i am thankful for lots of other stuff. like that my eyebrow grew back. and hair cuts. and cozy socks. and the smell of clean laundry. and the ducks that waddled around the stairs by the broadcasting building today. and that kourtney kardashian is having another baby. and for hulu and pandora and pinterest and twitter and facebook, too. and the opportunity that i have (ready, set, corny!) to be creative every single day, through the outfit i pick out, or the music i listen to, or through this silly little blog.

oh, and i am thankful for all the people who actually read it. i am sorry for rambling all the time. i like you guys.

…

well, this was therapeutic…but i’d still like to kick my jogging teacher in the face.

 

mckenzie claire has been hosting talk shows a la photobooth for years now. she gives the latest 4th grade gossip, tells stories about her day, and even invites special guests on to bashfully say hello.

i found this gem on my computer a few days ago. it’s a must-see! she even gives a fancy house tour. it’s like mtv cribs except…not at all.

she’s the next wendy williams, right?

love you, crazy girl.

hiiiiii(atus).

wasn’t that title witty? i said ‘hi!’ to you while also acknowledging the fact that i took a brief holiday hiatus while also being all cute and funnylicious.

(…while talking about things that are ‘licious’, my mom and i decided this week while watching ellen that fergalicious is perhaps the most lucky woman in all of the land; her bod is rockin’, she’s married to josh duhamel, and she is the only girl in black eyed peas which means she’s automatically the hottest…lucky b…)

(wait, do you guys think she looks kind of horsey? also wait, she’s number 19 on the list of ugliest female celebrities! WAIT this list also deemed beyonce number 7…discredited…)

anyways, my week was sort of wonderfulicious.

i saw my friends, saw my family, drank so much diet coke and diet dr. pepper that i am now sweating it (no seriously…i am), and ate my brains out.

ever since i left for college in june, my family has gotten way, way fancier. they now buy poptarts? barq’s root beer instead of off-brand shasta? jewish rye bread?!

i was telling my brother and his wife (okay…i just love saying that; his ‘wife’–it reminds me of the scene in parent trap where the then-adorbs lindsay lohan is rambling on about how much she loves saying ‘dad’) about this in the car, and he told me that back in his day, the only junk food in the house were chocolate chips for cooking and that he had clean his room, empty out the garbage cans, and clip my father’s toenails for my mother to make him a  chocolate milkshake.

now my siblings get chocolate milkshakes every single night just for existing…

lucky b’s…

the end! byeee(…sexual)!

side note: my brother didn’t have to clip my dad’s toenails, ever. also he said that “just for existing” line originally…i didn’t just make it up…shamefulicious…

surprise! i'm home.

at 12:05 on wednesday my lovely book of mormon teacher announced that class would be cancelled for the following monday. at 12:06 on wednesday i texted my mom saying that i had no important classes for the rest of the week and wanted to come home NOW instead of on tuesday night. 12 hours later, i boarded the grayhound in salt lake city and, 13 hours later, i was home.

the grayhound was…gray (promise i’ll tell more stories later)(i’m trying to suppress the memories for now).

but i’m home! and it’s white like snow! 

surpriseeeee.

p.s. …okay, a quick preview of my grayhound experience: a man behind me hawked loogies all. night. long.

stealing the bounce.

imagine: it’s summer. you’re barefoot and jumping on a trampoline (naked!). up, down. up, down. up, down. you inhale deeply, taking in the peacefulness of the rhythm: up, down. up, down.

suddenly, you hear footsteps. you look and see a portly, disheveled little girl undoubtedly wearing unbecoming denim overalls attempting to climb on the trampoline. after multiple grunts and mumbled profanities, she finally rolls on, exhausted. you’re annoyed at first but then get back in the rhythm of jumping…up, down. up, down. up, down.

now she’s jumping. up, down, up down. she is hopping closer and closer, maintaining eye contact and a maniacal smile the whole time. her weight is shifting; as she goes up, some things stay down and vice versa. up, down. up, up. down. now she’s right next to you. jumping, jumping, jumping and…up, down, up, down…down, down, dead. the b**** stole your bounce!

i’m the b****, the squatty one. with the shifty-weight and poor choice in denim.

i’m the bounce-stealer.

whenever someone has something really, really great happen to them, i metaphorically steal their bounce. i start living vicariously through them and get so uncomfortably excited that it leaves them bewildered, thinking: ‘why the heck is she so excited? and why does she have such poor taste in denim?’

 i stole my roommate avery’s bounce. she works at a little surf store in provo-town (yes, a surf shop in landlocked utah) and yesterday they went on the news in salt lake! or something! i really don’t understand what she was doing but i do know that she had to model outfits on the LIVE TELEVISION! (or something…again, i really don’t know)

but anyways, behold the babe who went on LIVE TELEVISION! (i think i was meant to be a stage mom…but, really): 

and what were you wearing, you ask? ask no more! my uncanny ability to turn any precious-photo-capturing moment into a sexy-brooke-pose-exposé failed not! meeeeow:  

…up, down. up, down, down, down, dead. 

p.s. watch the LIVE TELEVISION show by clicking here.
p.p.s. HAPPY BIRTHDAY LILY! love you madly.

things i want my sisters to know...

 

“The happiest people I know are not those who find their golden ticket; they are those who, while in pursuit of worthy goals, discover and treasure the beauty and sweetness of the everyday moments.”
― Dieter F. Uchtdorf

faux-thanksgiving.

my oldest brother beau and his wifey (i originally typed ‘new wife’ but then deleted it because it made him sound like a polygamist; stereotype: confirmed!)(…but they are newly married, preshdiddly) rosemary aren’t going to be able to make the long trek up to northern idaho for thanksgiving this year SO we brought the thanksgiving to them!

we had a faux-thanksgiving this year in our hotel. my mother slaved away in the kitchen (…of my dorm…) and we ate delicious stuffing, turkey, mashed potatoes and gravy, candied yams, and pie with plastic forks and paper plates. deliciously tacky.

afterwards, we all headed to the byu vs. university of idaho game. though i go to byu, i sided with the underdog and let my true vandal colors fly (…that’s a lie; i was wearing gray). we sat in the vandal-fan section and were accompanied by drunken alumnus who yelled things like: “EVEN IF WE’RE LOSING, AT LEAST WE’RE NOT BORING!”; “JOSEPH SMITH WAS A VANDAL FAN!”; and, my personal favorite, “THIS ONE’S FOR FREE WILL!”

…what? we had a good laugh. at any other football stadium, the inebriated die-hard would probably not stand out so much, but amongst the large families and little children (big-ish exaggeration; stereotype: confirmed), they stuck out like a sore thumb (i really don’t understand it but couldn’t think of anything else to say, apologies).

THIS ONE’S FOR FREE WILL! …and faux-thanksgivings. and sore thumbs, too.

thank you!

 

apparently blogging about my bike accident earned me some real, spicy sympathy in the form of hot tamales. i was overjoyed when i received this package today from my aunt jill; i really love my family!

thanks aunt jill!

happy friday!

i have reverted back to my high school days. my mother woke me up, waved me off to school in her big, blue truck, and brought me a large diet coke to down before my book of mormon midterm…also, she may or may not have done my hair.

needless to say, i am loving having my family here. my sisters’ enthusiasm during lunch even made me reconsider my current distaste for the cannon.

happy friday and happy 11/11/11!

family in provotown!

steel-cut oats, costco, and my family in town all at one time is like justin bieber’s christmas album. in other words, it’s the best, most magical thing in the history of human existence (or of right now…that works too)!!

i’m so happy they’re here. i really kinda, sorta like them…almost as much as my dad liked that massage chair.

now coo over the cuteness of this picture and pretend like i’m being all affectionate of sorts and giving kenz a hug rather than dragging her along the book aisle in a head lock and earning a look of bewilderment and fear from the kid on the right.

…coooooo…

EAT.

i’ve decided what i want to do with my life: be that guy. or be with that guy (he’s charming, no?). 

also my family comes tomorrow! i am beyond excited! and beyond hungry! and beyond procrastinating!

that’s all.

games with hipsters.

during certain shows(i feel like liz lemon!), i work with an obscenely hipster-like guy who prides himself in his anti-mainstream haircut and indie elitist music.

he loooooves his music and loooooves that no one else knows it.

anyways, the game: so, i get terribly bored at work some days and have to find ways of entertaining myself. some days that means sneaking into the bathroom and taking self portraits in the mirror (…like you don’t do it too! you do, right…?), other times that means doing calf raises and clenching my hineyside for as long as humanly possible (my record: 46 seconds; just try to beat me).  

the other day, him and i were working together and it was particularly slow, so he suggested that we play some music. naturally, i shied away from the role of playing dj (my music taste is so inferior! speaking of, beyonce’s ‘love on top’…to die for or to die for, right?) and left it up to him, mister elitist indie music man.

after seven minuets and 456 calf raises, i grew bored with listening to his music (it wasn’t even good! there is no way he liked it! it sounded like heavy traffic and creepy whispers!) and grew even more bored with watching his satisfaction over his music taste. it was all too much for me and i knew i had to end the music sharing session before things got hairy. as the strange music played, i concocted a foolproof plan…

the next song he picked, i screamed: “oh my! i love this song (i didn’t. at all.)! i know this band (didn’t, at all)! they’re my fave!”

he seemed impressed and changed the song, challenging my music knowledge.

“AAAAH!! my favorite! this song always played on the radio at home!” (lie.)

“BAH! you are reading my mind! this song is my favesters. we are so similar. wow.” (lie. favesters?)

“OH MY! i heard this song on the top 40 countdown this week!” (lie.)

the more i commented, the more he feverishly scrolled through his iPod, trying to find a song that would shut me up. we ended up nixing the music idea and sitting together…silently…so mainstream…

p.s., watch this.

sympathetic comments welcome.

…today i got hit by a car.no but seriously, i did! i was biking back from my weekly visit to gold n’ glow and mcd’s for my shot of sunshine and refill of diet coke (in hopes of trying to kick my dc drinking habit, i stopped buying it in the large cases at costco. FAIL! it has led me to power walking to mcd’s every morning, flinging $1.08 at the cashier lady, and procuring my large drink with a second refill later in the afternoon), when a silver car coming out of baskin-robbin’s made a right turn…right into me. the hit caused a dent in the back of my bike, a bruise on my buttside, and an interruption to my perfectly happy afternoon.

also his license plate fell off.

as i was lying (spread eagle, undoubtedly) on the ground trying to figure out what in the heavens was going on (and, also, trying to concoct some strands of obscenities to scream at the person…or a flirty little line to drop if he happened to be attractive–meet-cute, right?), a guy (…not cute) ran out of the car  (coming to help me! i’ll forgive you, promise!), grabbed the license plate (help me up with your free hand?), wished me luck (thanks? help me up now?), and sprinted back into the car (okay, byeeeee…).

what! the! heck!

i continued to lie there, hoping to earn the most sympathy possible from all the passing cars, until a guy pulled over and asked me if i was okay (he was married, guys. bummer, right? wouldn’t that have been the ultimate meet-cute?) in which i blubbered back something along the lines of: ‘yes, yes quite. i just…driving back from gold n’ glow…my cruiser bike…i bet he got a pansy flavor of ice cream, like daiquiri ice or bubblegum…’

he left soon after(okay, byeeeee…).

as i walked my dented bike back, ENRAGED, i called my mom and told her about the baskin-robbin’s happenings in which she, ENRAGED, gave me the sympathy i was looking for.

and then my day just got better! my brother and his wife picked me up and took me to baskin-robbin’s (ironic, no?) in which i ordered two large scoops of jamoca (this is becoming a pattern with them; yesterday they dropped off six homemade egg rolls that i immediately inhaled) and rambled about my anger AND i had a package waiting for me at the cannon center from mister hawaiian adventure man filled with coconut m&m’s, chocolate covered macadamia nuts, mango slices, and even a custom fountain pen! hoodelay!

so, what can you offer me? a sympathetic comment? a case of diet cokes? some hot tamales, per chance?

darn you, pansy-ice-cream-flavor-bike-denter man. darn you.

p.s. if you’re ever around me, this story just mayhaps change a bit. like, i may say that the car flat ran over me and i died for a bit but then woke up after mr. baskin-robbin’s himself spoon fed me some chocolate and peanut butter ice cream and now they’re naming an ice cream flavor after me and my christmas miracle recovery. or maybe i’ll say that the guy was cute and now we are getting married. or maybe i’ll leave out the part that i was coming from gold n’ glow.

whatever the story, just let me tell it…’cause i got hit by a car!

it's november?!

oy (i just started saying that, it’s my hot word of the week! oy! i think it’s fittings seeing as once upon a time my chiropractor man told me that i was jewish…wait, what?), it’s november. i disappeared for a while there (one month) and got lost in the land of school, sleep, and work (remember when i was complaining about being unemployed? oy! to be that girl again! on saturday i worked from 2:30-12 a.m! and then the next morning from 8:00-11:30! oy!). i got into such a routine and forgot to add in blogging. or exercising or being especially hygienic, for that matter.

…but i’m back now! i am like a mcrib sandwich, or cougar town, or brett michaels–you never know when i’m going to disappear and are left wondering if i’m going to make a comeback. or maybe you didn’t notice that i haven’t posted in precisely one month (probably, most likely). in any case, hello.

to catch you up:

 

1. miss uvu competition with my cousin.  suppressed giggles, eye rolling; did i mention that someone’s talent was lyrical dancing? did i mention i go on a lot of girl dates lately?//2. the few perks of work//3. irish taco, yum. yum. yum.//4. a farmer’s market in the stadium parking lot. lots of free samples and lots of  ‘i’m just going to look around for a bit, but i promise to be back and get something!’…i’m the worst…(sorry sweet bread/apple/pepper jelly/peach/honey butter vendors!) 

5. & 6. vegas, baby! my friend invited me to celebrate one of her high school friend’s birthday in vegas for a weekend. i don’t think i am suited for that place. i just stared and stared and stared at people. at one point while we were out shopping, i decided to take a break and get a fountain drink at the food court in the mall. i think i began drooling at one point. vegas, baby…?//7. and 8. portland with my geemama, kenzie claire, and my mother. i was so happy to spend time with them. we watched the kardashian wedding (4 hours wasted; dangit, kim and kris…), went to a haunted house, and ate out. it was well-worth the hellish 12 hour drive (story to come, promise!).

happy november! (these next two months are some of my favorites.)