little feats.

the life of brooke at byu is a taxing life. people are always wanting to hang out with me and braid my hair and have tickle fights and i’m like “guys, i have to get stuff done here!” THUS i have become a slave to to-do lists. at the beginning of the day while the lights are still off and avery-dear is still sleeping, i sit at my desk and write down all the things i need and want to do that day (…sometimes; but for the sake of this: i am a ‘slave’)…and then proceed to watch avery sleep for the next hour. only kidding! i don’t have that kind of time, you crazies!

  and normally, almost always, sometimes i cross everything off the list at the end of the day (sometimes i write down things that i have already done, just to make myself feel all accomplished and important).

 

but anyways, this break i have accomplished NOTHING spectacular and that makes my stomach sort of squirmy-like. so i decided to brainstorm all my little feats this break that are yip and pip-worthy…

behold:

1. using y’all casually ad nauseam–making my texan friends proud!
2. eating over 20 apples and finishing off 2 cases of dr. pepper 10 and diet barq’s rootbeer.
3. walking into the high school basketball game and successfully achieving the ‘i’m in college and i’ve learned important things’ stroll.
4. bowling a 47. how is it that i am so bad?
5. watching the whole second season of workaholics and the movie sherlock holmes TWO TIMES.
6. really, really getting into character as the sheep in the nativity play this christmas (family rule: you don’t get out of the play until you’re married–anyone interested in getting hitched?! last night i made a killer quesadilla AND i read a lottttt of cosmopolitan, if you know what i mean…).
7. …making a quesadilla.
8. retelling the same story over and over again about how i won the intramural basketball championship at my university…(and now i’ve told it again!)
9. zumba-ing for the first time EVER…I LOVED IT. it was so, so fun shaking my thing alongside faculty from my elementary school and parents’ moms.
10. going to old navy or ross nearly every single day this break for some random something or other.
11. burning the crap out of my face whilst tanning and then craftily making up stories ON THE SPOT about how i got wind burnt while skiing or am just all heated from working out so hard at the gym.
12. getting told i look all grown’d up from my seventh grade english teacher.
13. avoiding eye contact with lots of people who i kind of, sort of, but not REALLY know from the HS while in public.
14. …and, if eye contact is made, striking up really terribly insincere and inauthentic conversations about high school memories? and their college experience? and how much weight we’ve gained?
15. somehow managing to eat three separate dinners every night.

…and now i am going to write all of these things on a to-do list and cross them out while yipping and pipping.

am i boring you?

hypothetically speaking, it will stay christmas forever and ever if i never shower or change out of my pajamas and continue to down mass amounts of sugar? right? apparently i am testing this theory. i spent the day lounging around the house and skyping these people. the boy on the left, landon, is getting set apart to leave for his mission tonight. in other words, the choppy group skype date where i spent 3/4 of the time staring at my own face on the screen was the last time i’ll talk to him for two years…byeeee landon!

in other news, i snuck in a trip to the gym today and a visit to the chiropractor where he, once again, told me that i was jewish. what? why? the part about the gym really was quite irrelevant but…i went there…

…i walked to safeway with my mom and decided that i like shasta cola and pink lady apples more than honeycrisp. compelling!

furthermore,  i took two baths today! two!

…also i’m left-handed?

a very merry christmas.

waking up at 4 a.m. to watch part of a christmas story. lining up at the stairs from oldest to youngest. watching the snowman for the 19th time. breakfast casserole prepared by my grandma (even though she wasn’t here!). christmas day happy yips and pips. my brother driving? turkey dinner. not showering or moving all day long. church and chad ruining pictures. little naps. slumber-party groggy feeling.

christmas.

merry christmas eve!

today started with ihop pancakes and sherlock holmes and is ending with christmas movies and cheetah print pajamas. goodnight, everyone! 

p.s. merry christmas eve!

exclamation point!

squeal! squeal!

 

you guys, tomorrow is christmas EVE. which is almost, sometimes, basically better than christmas, essentially.

maybe i feel this way because i really like the hype, the wait, the anticipation. sometimes i get in really, really long lines just to be in them. por ejemplo! for example! when i was…thirteen…i once stood in a really, really long line at a water park in utah for a really, really tall slide. i loved the line. i had fun in the line. then once i got to the top, i didn’t go down the slide, to obvious! nay! rather i marched all the way back down to my mom and then later in the day went through the hour-long line again. because i liked it! (not because i was scared! no way!)

but, anyways. tomorrow. christmas eve. SQUEAL!

*wtcc? (why the cotton candy?): christmas eve party desserts.

food-guilt.

christmas break has been a time in which an early breakfast leads to a later breakfast that induces mid-day snacking that turns into lunch which calls for a second, more suitable lunch which compels an early dinner which, in turn, constitutes a large-yet-completely-rational helping of ice cream and chocolate-covered pretzels because “i basically didn’t eat dinner.” wait, what? the closest i have gotten to touching a scale was when i peed next to one and even that was enough for me. the white square undoubtedly full of disappointment evoked brief feelings of food-guilt…

 

…that led to a visit to the hole-in-the-wall pizza parlor in moscowland and a large slice of baked potato pizza (thank you, pie hole!) and a vow to use a different toilet because, after all, christmas break is no time for ill feelings!

p.s. to swimsuit season: I AM SORRY.

airplane lies.

traveling is my favorite thing.

 

and i don’t say that to make me sound all adventurous and exotic and interesting and wily (but if it does: BONUS!)(…this reminds me of a REAL date that ACTUALLY happened where a blast from the EFY past rolled into town and took me on a 45 minute date…where we sat outside of the dorms…and asked me if i liked traveling because he wanted his future wife to travel the world with him? now i will go back to suppressing that memory forever and ever). because i am not. i have only been out of country once and that was canada and they didn’t even have canadian bacon.

when i say i like traveling, i mean that i like the airports, and the overpriced food (there is no such thing as a wendy’s value menu at airports!), and the moving walkways that make you feel so speedy, and the airplane bathrooms, and the obligatory conversation with the person next to you.

yesterday i sat at the very front of the plane (the leg room!) in between two men flying back from san diego that had a very different interpretation of how to dress for the weather.

the man to my right was middle-aged and wore shorts and sandals with socks. he was initially my favorite until he kept self-consciously assuring the rest of the plane that he was wearing shorts “because he thought we were going to landing in the daylight.” he lived in lewiston and worked at safeway and gave me a business card for his marketing buisness he was going to start-up (i had no idea what to do with it so i shoved it in a copy of the skymall).

the other wore a beanie, parka, and running shoes. he was moving to nicaragua in six months, ordered a ‘naughty cup of jack-coke’, was a certified sky-diver, loved to work out and lift weights, felt like he wasn’t challenged enough in college, liked to light his couch on fire after football games, and was, i’m guessing, an active and devout member of every fraternity on frat row.

i am nearly positive he was pulling my leg. which is fair because i pulled his leg hard.

i was wearing my glasses. embodying my glasses, really (they’re SO fake). i had my book that i had no intention of reading out and kept pushing my glasses up the crook of my nose and was acting all young and tortured because why not? he asked me what year i was in school and i replied that i was in my ‘fourth semester’ because that sounds fancier. he asked what i was studying and i said that my problem was i was too good and interested in everything: animal abuse, cosmetology, women’s studies, preschool teaching–how could i choose one thing?! i said that jimmer was nice (true-ish) and that he was in my d&c class last year (FALSE!) and that i had been to dubai and it was nice and desolate and there was an indoor ski place.

he was as unimpressed with me as i was with him. he drank his jack-coke, smirked to himself (he could tell my glasses were fake…i just know it!), and slept for the rest of the plane ride.

and then the guy next to my right turned and told me how he thought we were going to land in the daylight…

but i love traveling? and the obligatory conversations?

no matter. now i am home! and happy besides the fact that all of my electronics are boycotting working! and rethinking my fake glasses! and fully aware that this post was only marginally funny and really long!

scenes of my friday night.

 

there was a slew of sugary cereal, ten variations of the same breakfast casserole, chocolate milk in 3-gallon coolers, and the mr. clause.

raging friday night, per usual.

slow down.

 

if i could, i would slow down time and eat 4,674 more times with these three at rancherito’s and maybe, maybe actually order something for myself.

(have i mentioned that i don’t even really like rancherito’s? and that two years is sounding like a millenia?)

i'm so glad you were born.

it seems i have somehow turned this weekend into a makeshift ‘brooke’s big birthday and friend fawning’ session?

earlier last week, i mentioned how a postcard from my dear friend murny constituted for the best day ever. little did i know (ugh, story of my finals…)! little did i know, that i was going to keep having the best days ever.

for in my mailbox awaited… 

…lots and lots and lots more postcards from some of my favorite people!

the notes made me laugh, cry (almost!), and cringe from the raw sentimentality. each one was so special and reminded me of the friendship that i had with each person (okay…stop…finals are making me sappy).

i am so glad that all of them were born. cyber hug!

and i’m so glad that i was born too…because this life has a lot of best days ever and that’s pretty rad.

birthday pt. two.

 

the rest of the my birthday just served as an affirmation that i have some of the best and most sweetest friends in the whole world of wide (accidental fat joke). i feel like i am a portly man dating a superstar supermodel; i have no idea what i have done to deserve these friends but i am so, so grateful for them.

as i was getting ready for the night, lily, rach, and avery walked in and sang me happy birthday and presented me with the sweetest gift ever: 19 things that i love for my 19th birthday. the gift included sweet nothings like chocolate covered almonds, a gift card to mcdonald’s, cosmopolitan, nail polish, and a picture book entitled ‘hot guys and baby animals.’ they know me all too well.

after i had opened the gift and gushed over everything, we picked up ally and syd and headed over to spark–a hilariously ironic and suave non-alcoholic lounge. there we ordered drinks and split food and soaked in how suave and grown up we were (“i feel like i’m TWENTY right now!”). 

when the last of the drinks had been slurped, we ran down the stairs and shoved our checks at the waiter. i was really curious as to why we were in such a hurry but thought that maybe everyone was on the same cycle? or really sick of me? or the hour my mom had paid for them to be my friends was up? something to that extent.

we then piled into lily’s car, blasted christmas music, and sped off to ‘the chocolate’ where a surprise was awaiting.

when we arrived, i thought things were a little bit weird. sydney and ally were nowhere to be found, the man behind the counter was sheepishly smiling at me, and lily, rach, and aves refused to walk up the stairs first. ummm…okay?

as i walked up the stairs, the first people i saw were my brother and his wife and my friend and her boyfriend…was this some weird group date that i was barging in on? i awkwardly smiled at them only to be met with a loud ‘SURPRISEEEEE!’ coming from the next room. 

a surprise party.

for me!

the next hour was filled with hugs (and i’m not a hugger), excitement, and complete awareness that i had apparently peed my pants during the car ride over?  

thanks so much to everyone that helped make my birthday so great (or: thank mom, for paying my friends so well). i love you all more than you will ever know…ever, because i’m not the affectionate type.

so far, 19 is pretty kick-a.

sundayness.

 “life shouldn’t be sad. you can always find the upside and the humorous too!”

i love merry old couples.

happy sunday!

birthday pt. 1.

when the clock struck midnight, friends and i hurried off to celebrate my nineteenth birthday as any nineteenth birthday should be celebrated: with mcdonald’s diet coke, fresh fries, and rollerskating. 

earlier that day, landon’s dad came into town and took a big group of us out to tucano’s (truth: it wasn’t for my birthday at all, but it’s fun to pretend). have you ever been to tucano’s?! they just keep feeding you and feeding you and feeding you till you think you’re going to pop. i felt like i was at the fanciest costco in the world with all the samples (and don’t worry, i didn’t refuse any; chicken heart? sure!)

the moral of this story?

ummm…

my birthday was a day in which i happily gained 27 pounds.

(oh. and after tucano’s and before mcdonald’s my intramural team won the division one intramural championship…it’s really no big deal or anything. also, this post is chronologically kooky)

but anyways, after rollerskating i rolled into my bed and woke up a few hours later for a final review in my religion class. and then i gave myself the gift of a few more hours of sleep and got back under the covers (a gift that i’m sure will bite me in the but later…like a cheese plate or butt-hungry pug!).

two hours later, i found myself in sonic (sitting INSIDE! i didn’t even know there was such a thing) with the lovely and blonde morgan. we gulped down route 44′s and munched on tater tots and played with my camera (isn’t she the prettiest?!). 

for lunch (sonic was just a warm up), a group of girls and i headed up to the sixth floor of the wilkinson center to the fanciest restaurant on campus. it was a buffet. buffets may be the death of me–i just want to try everything! the lighting was perfect so of course i had to snap pictures of them (…they were so annoyed); it was such a task trying to hold the camera still while laughing so hard. 

i really, really love my friends.

and i really, really love buffets.

and i really, REALLY love my parents for, you know, bringing me into this life. you guys should go to a buffet or something.

northern idaho.

when posed with the question, “so, where are you from?” at byu, i am quick to answer “idaho…northern idaho!” –i have to make that clarification. i feel like northern idaho is just its own breed, am i right?

 

i found this list on the ‘idahohomestead.com’ website. why was i browsing that? i don’t even know? i guess i’m just excited to go home?

“you know you live in northern idaho when…”

your kids are safer playing on an idaho highway than on their old suburban street in california.

almost every vehicle is a 4×4 or awd.

your $80,000 house has a detached garage/shop filled with $300,000 worth of “toys”.

you don’t know how to correctly pronounce: “quesadilla” or “chimichanga”.

the local gas station sells live bait.

little smokies are something you serve on special occasions.

your mayor is also your friend’s grandmother.

you know you should listen to the weather forecast before picking out your clothes.

you know cow pies aren’t made of beef.

winter: you wake up when it’s dark and go to bed when it’s dark.

summer: you wake up when it’s light and go to bed when it’s light.

your nearest neighbor is…heck…haven’t heard or seen him for a season.

it takes 30 seconds to reach your destination and it’s clear across town.

you see people wearing camouflage at social events (including weddings and funerals).

you install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.

you design your kid’s halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with ice.

your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your blue spruce.

you were unaware that there is a legal drinking age.

everyone you know has hit a deer more than once.

the really nice and expensive homes are located on dirt roads.

the big government project in your local town is the paving of a few of the dirt streets.

when the sun goes down you start looking for your coat, gloves, and hat.

in march, your vehicle is 83% mud.

you leave your keys in the car and the next morning it’s still there.

the elevation exceeds the population.

you can’t get out of your car and go inside your house until the mountain lion decides to move off your porch.

you don’t have a key for your house. you’ve never really needed it.

you’ve broken down on the highway and three cars stop to help you.

you can not only see the stars at night, but the milky way too.

people drive 100 miles to shop in a real mall.

your great grandmother is older than the courthouse.

you got a set of studded tires for valentines day.

your back yard smells like forest or scat.

a girls’ basketball game fills the gym.

tourists are easily spotted: they don’t have cracked windshields.

you slept through the night unawakened by a siren.

a fishing derby is more popular than a rock concert.

you can fish, golf, and go skiing all in the same day without really trying.

democrats are like salmon, they are on the endangered species list.

you wave to someone on the freeway because you recognize the truck.

in the spring and summer, every third vehicle you pass is a logging truck. every fourth vehicle is a gravel / dump truck.

you can choose plastic bags or paper sacks for your groceries.

you have to wait for a herd of moose to move off the road.

your main drag in town is two blocks long.

the only 14 hippies and commies are fittingly locked away at some bar in moscow. (ha!)

you know how to pronounce pend oreille and coeur d’alene in a decidedly francophobic way.

you’ve received skis for christmas, and used them christmas morning skiing off the roof.

you know what lewiston smells like.

your definition of a condo is “what californians come to purchase.”

you have more than once, while in another state, said “you call this a lake?”

you think suburban sprawl is the latest innovation…what a novel idea!

you can successfully use ‘hagadone’ as a verb.

you live in the only place outside new england where you can go between three states and a canadian province in under 3 hours.

 oh, sweet northern idaho. how i miss you.

can’t wait to go home; only a few more days!

it's okay.

it’s okay that today that my dinner was soft-serve ice cream with water mixed into it (SO good, try it! costco frozen yogurt works the best).

it’s okay that the lady at gold n’ glow knew my name (it’s inevitable; i am going to be a leather bag).

it’s okay that my internal organs still hurt from holding in a sneeze yesterday (i opened the bathroom door the same time as another girl and saw her as i was winding up to sneeze. i closed my mouth and held it in…i swear my whole body shook!).

it’s okay that i’m just getting started studying for a fatty final tomorrow because i spent all day online shopping for stuff that i’ll never buy.

it’s okay that last night in my intramural game i said “shiiiiii” then quickly, and really obviously, added “zzzz! i said shiz!” (those games get heated! did i mention it was the championship?! don’t worry, we play again tomorrow. ugh.)

it’s okay that i have now lied to my bossypants about my act score (“perfect score! weird, right?”) and gpa just so he would think i am less flighty.

it’s okay that on monday at the store a girl shot her boyfriend a “remind me to never wear this outfit again” look after i told her she looked cute. mind you, i was wearing baggy grey sweatpants, a baggy grey t-shirt, a huge parka, dirty uggs, a wild high bun, and a sparkly headband?

it’s okay that morgan and i save our mcdonald’s cups sometimes so that we can refill them throughout the week ($1.08 adds up!).

and it’s totally okay that my to-do list today had ‘do nails’ and ‘catch up on tv shows’ in front of studying and doing homework. actually, i don’t even think those were on the list.

right?

p.s. that picture is from my lesson in aperture. i’m glad i have fancy friends.

remix'd.

once upon a saturday, my friends lindsay, josh, landon and i had run out of fun things to do. we were in salt lake city earlier that day watching the cougars play the ducks ($4.00 for a large pop!) and had just gotten back from the riverwoods where we walked in and out of stores and shared a chocolate bar four ways (…whilst reenacting charlie and the chocolate factory; i was the bedridden grandma georgina).

like most attractive young adults, lindsay had a date scheduled for later that night and was leaving us. she let us stay in her apartment where we ate all of her cheese and debated reasons for our dateless friday.

that got boring quickly (the answer was too obvious) and we three were all in the mood to dance and sing. well, i was.

five hours later, a music video was born.

it was one of those things that started out really spontaneous but ended up being a full-blown choreographed production. all done in lindsay’s apartment. while she was out on a date.

behold: book of mormon stories remix’d.

p.s. please ignore the entire part where my face is in the camera. i ran out of facial expressions and was trying to hold in my giggle snorts.

we’re definitely going viral.

dad humor.

my dad sent me this e-card today and i just had to share it and his note:

 Just because I believe making fun of a family whose only discernible talent is an ample backside is required.

–Dad

…my family has never been one to send gushy ‘i love you and miss you so much’ emails. yet somehow this conveys the same sort of message, right?

also, for the record, the best kardashian sister is a toss-up between khloe, lamar, and kourtney.

oh christmas tree, oh christmas tree...

after writing class today, i lollygagged around and tried to put off going to work. i walked around, ate a vegetable tree, mingled with people, mingled with myself, and then…ran out of things to do.

don’t you hate that? when you just flat run out of things to burn time. sometimes when i am in a real snacky mood i run out of things to snack on. like, i can’t humanly think of anything else to eat.

(speaking of: today while in the library–it’s my second day in the row there…who am i?!–i was putting off writing yet another essay and googled ‘secret menus’ at restaurants. DID YOU KNOW that you can get grilled cheeses at mcdonalds? or chicken quesadillas at chick fil a? or a smoothie that tastes like a peanut butter at jelly at jamba?! boy howdy!)

so, anyways, i walked to work and right when i walked in my bossman told me that i was assigned to make one studio more “christmas-like.”

merry first day of december for me! lucky for him i had been listening to mariah carey’s christmas station all morning long and was filled with holiday spirit.

…okay, i realize i did an entirely mediocre job BUT i had limited resources. and limited time. and limited holiday spirit (truth: mariah carey’s station got annoying quickly).

but i did it! so, on the rare chance that you tune into byu weekly tomorrow, look at the christmas tree and think of me…or just order a grilled cheese at mcdonald’s. that works too.

happy first day of december!

social media christmas.

in the spirit of christmas and december and sunday, here’s a sweet little video that shows the christmas story a la facebook: 

people are so creative these days.

merry sunday!

more sundayness.

 

today in a lovely moment of pure luck, my friend landon scored an extra ticket to the first presidency’s christmas message at the salt lake conference center and i was the recipient! yippity pippity!  the perks of knowing an iranian (irrelevant…but he is iranian!)! i was planning on watching it on the computer in dorm while eating a full jar of peanut butter, but seeing  it live was extra special (and saved me about 1,393 calories…double yes!).

president uchtdorf, eyring, and presidnet monson all spoke about the true meaning of christmas and what we should try and focus on this holiday season. president monson talked about how christmas is such a time of happiness and cheer and remembering all things that are good and important in life and how we should not simply spend christmas once a year, but we should keep christmas in our lives and in our souls all year long.

afterwards, we walked around temple square (accidently…we were actually lost and looking for our other friends) and ate graham cracker ice cream (…and string cheese with sugary bbq sauce, oddly delicious?) at josh’s house. the whole night was well worth the crammed car ride and potential speeding tickets.

hope your sundays were swell.

p.s. i took that picture with my new camera that i’m sort of in love with.

therapeutic thankfulness.

as of the past seven hours, it has been awfully easy to get all entangled in the negative. like that there’s never any toilet paper in my stall of choice, or that i have a large zit on the inside of my nose that aches every time i inhale sharply, or that i have to skip the kook’s concert tonight to write a fatty research paper on a topic i basically hate.

but, hmmm, anyways…

oh yes: being thankful.

it’s times like these that i have to stop and make a little mental list about the things i am thankful for. well, after i stop and make a little mental list of the people i want to kick in the head repeatedly.

thus: my mental(…but not, because i am typing it…just go with me) list about things i am thankful for! (you guys don’t get to see my ‘kick-in-the-head’ list, sillies!)(okay…a teaser: my jogging teacher. for making the jogging final so dang hard! i have failed it twice already and still have yet to pass it but…uh…) ready, go!

i am terribly thankful for my family. my parents were truly hand-selected just for me. and i love that my mother is one of my best friends in the entire world and that she didn’t veto the idea of eating frozen yogurt for lunch for 10 days straight. and that i have a father that i find so funny (DON’T tell him…) and has an uncanny way with words. and that he loves my mom so darn much and treats her like the queen of the world. i am thankful that i have younger siblings that i look up to because they are so sweet and kind (but not too sweet or too kind…because that would be nauseating!) and hilarious. and quirky…you guys are weird. i am thankful that they will play endless games of ‘true colors’ and b.s. with me (oh, and i am thankful for paige for introducing me to popcorn with brown sugar and frozen bananas with peanut butter and chocolate…and for having skinny legs that i can pretend are genetic). 

i am grateful for my older brothers that are way smarter than i’ll ever be. and also more patient. and kind. and just all-around better people than i am. ha. also i am grateful that they have both lead lives that i can earn serious cool-points over (“yeah, my brother’s in a band…”; “not a big deal buttttt my brother speaks the cambodian language fluently…”). and i am also thankful for all of my cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents. for being cooky and weird and supportive and protective and attractive(no seriously, both sides of my family are good-looking bunches). and that they do things like leave nice comments and meet me at greyhound bus stops at 6:00 a.m. to make sure i am of the living and bring me diet coke and mcdonald’s oatmeal (holy, thank you aunt jill!).

i am grateful for my friends, both here and there and everywhere. i am grateful that you guys know how to make me ugly laugh and how to console me when i ugly cry(why are all of my extreme emotions so…ugly?). and that you guys understand how important courtesy laughing is to my self-esteem and that i will inevitably eat off your plates. and that i like to do really boring things like go to costco and grocery shop. and that you guys make it so fun that it feels like a trip to disneyland!

i am thankful for the big dude upstairs. i am thankful that he has this plan for me (pleeeeease say it involves ryan gossling somehow!) and knows me by name. and that he listens to my sometimes super petty prayers about not getting fat ankles or running into someone that’s good-looking on campus. and that he, you know, created the world and stuff.

i am thankful for being HERE, right now. well, not really here HERE…seeing as i am in the library and the library tends to make me all anxious and itchy…but HERE. at byu. surrounded by smarty pants, happy people. at a university that pushes me (SO, so hard) but also lets me take really fun classes like cooking, volleyball, and photography (next semester! eeeep!). and that byu puts up lots of pretty christmas lights and plays christmas music.  

hmmm…i guess i am thankful for my job. actually, i am. i am thankful that i HAVE one and that it works so well around my schedule and that i work with nice people who tease me endlessly about my outfit choices. and that the job title makes me sound all fancy. and sometimes i get free food.  

i am thankful that i have so much to look forward to. my upcoming birthday, winter break where i can see all of my friends from home, christmas, and studying in italy next fall!

i am thankful that i am 18 and nine-tenths and that the biggest of my worries are getting rid of the inner nose-zit (any suggestions?), waking up on time, and fighting the freshman fifteen…or hiding it…i am thankful for layering, too.  

…and i am thankful for lots of other stuff. like that my eyebrow grew back. and hair cuts. and cozy socks. and the smell of clean laundry. and the ducks that waddled around the stairs by the broadcasting building today. and that kourtney kardashian is having another baby. and for hulu and pandora and pinterest and twitter and facebook, too. and the opportunity that i have (ready, set, corny!) to be creative every single day, through the outfit i pick out, or the music i listen to, or through this silly little blog.

oh, and i am thankful for all the people who actually read it. i am sorry for rambling all the time. i like you guys.

…

well, this was therapeutic…but i’d still like to kick my jogging teacher in the face.

 

mckenzie claire has been hosting talk shows a la photobooth for years now. she gives the latest 4th grade gossip, tells stories about her day, and even invites special guests on to bashfully say hello.

i found this gem on my computer a few days ago. it’s a must-see! she even gives a fancy house tour. it’s like mtv cribs except…not at all.

she’s the next wendy williams, right?

love you, crazy girl.

hiiiiii(atus).

wasn’t that title witty? i said ‘hi!’ to you while also acknowledging the fact that i took a brief holiday hiatus while also being all cute and funnylicious.

(…while talking about things that are ‘licious’, my mom and i decided this week while watching ellen that fergalicious is perhaps the most lucky woman in all of the land; her bod is rockin’, she’s married to josh duhamel, and she is the only girl in black eyed peas which means she’s automatically the hottest…lucky b…)

(wait, do you guys think she looks kind of horsey? also wait, she’s number 19 on the list of ugliest female celebrities! WAIT this list also deemed beyonce number 7…discredited…)

anyways, my week was sort of wonderfulicious.

i saw my friends, saw my family, drank so much diet coke and diet dr. pepper that i am now sweating it (no seriously…i am), and ate my brains out.

ever since i left for college in june, my family has gotten way, way fancier. they now buy poptarts? barq’s root beer instead of off-brand shasta? jewish rye bread?!

i was telling my brother and his wife (okay…i just love saying that; his ‘wife’–it reminds me of the scene in parent trap where the then-adorbs lindsay lohan is rambling on about how much she loves saying ‘dad’) about this in the car, and he told me that back in his day, the only junk food in the house were chocolate chips for cooking and that he had clean his room, empty out the garbage cans, and clip my father’s toenails for my mother to make him a  chocolate milkshake.

now my siblings get chocolate milkshakes every single night just for existing…

lucky b’s…

the end! byeee(…sexual)!

side note: my brother didn’t have to clip my dad’s toenails, ever. also he said that “just for existing” line originally…i didn’t just make it up…shamefulicious…

surprise! i'm home.

at 12:05 on wednesday my lovely book of mormon teacher announced that class would be cancelled for the following monday. at 12:06 on wednesday i texted my mom saying that i had no important classes for the rest of the week and wanted to come home NOW instead of on tuesday night. 12 hours later, i boarded the grayhound in salt lake city and, 13 hours later, i was home.

the grayhound was…gray (promise i’ll tell more stories later)(i’m trying to suppress the memories for now).

but i’m home! and it’s white like snow! 

surpriseeeee.

p.s. …okay, a quick preview of my grayhound experience: a man behind me hawked loogies all. night. long.

stealing the bounce.

imagine: it’s summer. you’re barefoot and jumping on a trampoline (naked!). up, down. up, down. up, down. you inhale deeply, taking in the peacefulness of the rhythm: up, down. up, down.

suddenly, you hear footsteps. you look and see a portly, disheveled little girl undoubtedly wearing unbecoming denim overalls attempting to climb on the trampoline. after multiple grunts and mumbled profanities, she finally rolls on, exhausted. you’re annoyed at first but then get back in the rhythm of jumping…up, down. up, down. up, down.

now she’s jumping. up, down, up down. she is hopping closer and closer, maintaining eye contact and a maniacal smile the whole time. her weight is shifting; as she goes up, some things stay down and vice versa. up, down. up, up. down. now she’s right next to you. jumping, jumping, jumping and…up, down, up, down…down, down, dead. the b**** stole your bounce!

i’m the b****, the squatty one. with the shifty-weight and poor choice in denim.

i’m the bounce-stealer.

whenever someone has something really, really great happen to them, i metaphorically steal their bounce. i start living vicariously through them and get so uncomfortably excited that it leaves them bewildered, thinking: ‘why the heck is she so excited? and why does she have such poor taste in denim?’

 i stole my roommate avery’s bounce. she works at a little surf store in provo-town (yes, a surf shop in landlocked utah) and yesterday they went on the news in salt lake! or something! i really don’t understand what she was doing but i do know that she had to model outfits on the LIVE TELEVISION! (or something…again, i really don’t know)

but anyways, behold the babe who went on LIVE TELEVISION! (i think i was meant to be a stage mom…but, really): 

and what were you wearing, you ask? ask no more! my uncanny ability to turn any precious-photo-capturing moment into a sexy-brooke-pose-exposé failed not! meeeeow:  

…up, down. up, down, down, down, dead. 

p.s. watch the LIVE TELEVISION show by clicking here.
p.p.s. HAPPY BIRTHDAY LILY! love you madly.