little thank you's.

 something i've been working on as of three seconds ago is being more grateful for what i have right now. in class today, our teacher posed the question : what if i told you that you already had all the tools that you needed to be completely happy + joyful? how would that change things?

during the end of my high school experience, i was over it. i remember my weight training teacher (ha! ask me if i ever lifted a weight? no. i did, however, master the art of the four-legged race with my ryan-friend + became sort of, kind of better at ddr maxx) asking me what the best part about my year was going to be. looking back, was he trying to reach out to me? was i one of those visibly troubled youth? was i the jesse to his walter white?! i looked at him + said : leaving moscow ... indefinitely.

sassy. also! let it be noted! i was riding a stationary bike at the time + trying to see around his head to watch the ellen show. this is when she was on at eleven a.m., of course.

in my head, i wasn't going to be fully happy until i got out of northern idaho. which is one part teen angst but most parts totally silly. why wasn't i relishing in the fact that my mom did my laundry, made my dinners, + (don't judge me)  curled my hair?! why wasn't i squealing with delight when i checked my calendar + saw that, yep, i had no obligations. why wasn't i loving on my girlish figure that is long gone since meeting the byu cafeteria? why was i setting these parameters on my happiness level?! 

let's just blame it on being seventeen?

so, here's my concerted effort to be grateful for what's around me (...except for the ants that have been crawling around my desk + laptop as of late...why is this?!) right now. sure, i can look forward to what's to come (babies! a *hopefully* real income! an actual use for my birthing hips!) but...

where am i going with this? 

awww, yes. here are my little 'thank you's' for the week. because i'm working on being more grateful, ya know? 

:: thank you mother earth for this cool weather. once school starts, i want to shut the heat off. give me the cold. i don't need heat-sweats atop my stress-sweats.

:: a big, fat thank you to russ the yoga instructor tonight for quietly asking me + my lily-friend if we are ready to begin now? instead of slapping us upside the head for being loud + disruptive. also thank you for the class + for making my bum drip with sweat. that's never happened before. 

:: oh! sweet jeff! thank you for your unwavering patience + hard work. that boy was in the computer lab (neeeeerd) for hours working on a program that moved files? or something? you know, i really don't get this whole computer science jazz but i support it with mcdonald's salads + back scratches. also thank you for having the same humor as me and nearly losing your marbles over 30 rock right now. you're my person.

:: thank you a hundred + ten times over, employee at rumbi's, for quickly delivering my rice bowl to me. i was in a whole new state of hanger (side note : i was at best buy for nearly five hours today! five hours! on the bright side, i came out with a fancy new sprint sliding phone that can receive texts + calls and...slide! minimalism. i'm all about it.) + was actually near tears. 

:: thank you mommy dear, for being the one person i can brag to about anything + everything including keeping up on the dishes + other things of low importance. i love that mommy dear. 

:: thank you crazy lady at best buy for raising your voices at the employees + saying exactly what i wanted to say. also, thank you for allowing me to play the role of 'kind + patient customer who rolls her eyes at crazy ladies.' i liked that role. also sorry for the eye roll, i was in character...you get me. 

:: thank you amazon prime for having the real housewives of orange county : secrets revealed episode. i was dying. also for having tosh.0 season four for free. ...not that i like junky television, or anything?

:: thank you, giant zit under my nose, for grounding + humbling me. i was having three good hair days in a row. you know what good hair days do to my self esteem. i needed you.

:: thank you for this cute + cozy apartment that is slowly coming together (read : actually receives the aesthetic attention it deserves when my mother comes to visit -- she has a thing for hanging pictures + reorganizing?) + for our sweet neighbors right above us with the cutest kids who remind me that yes, kids are adorable but yes, they are loud + disrupt normal sleeping patterns. but the pitter patter of their foot steps make me saaaaah-woon! (am i a creepy neighbor? i'm a creepy neighbor.)

:: thank you local grocery store for your oversized ... and slightly overpriced ... pink lady apples. they are the size of my head which kind of makes my head feel petite for the first time in twenty years? double thank you.

thank you, thank you, thank you.