*almost* 27 weeks // an update.

#pregnancy

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i'm sliding right into 27 weeks (third trimester, what. is. up.) + realize i have failed at documenting this pregnancy. like, totally failed. i don't feel like my bump is bumpin' enough to post a picture +, to be honest, a picture of me pounding a cheeseburger in the drive-through is far more accurate. ha. 

cravings : bacon cheeseburgers (of the wendy's sort), grapefruit juice and s l e e p .

sleep : ain't nothing like an early bed time. except for lately i have had a few nights where i am totally restless + totally resentful of the sleeping jeff beside me. 

movement : so. there was like, none FOR SO LONG + i was so bummed. now homie moves 24/7 + loooooves to kick me hard + lay on my bladder. mmmmm. 

weight gain : i'm an equal opportunity weight gainer, as my cousin summer would say. i feel like my eyelids are chubby at this point...actually, i DO feel like i have gained 3,674 pounds in my face alone.

best moment : just all the talking about mommy-ing/parent-ing, being able to eat gluten painlessly (NOT KIDDING! pass the pizza) + any time i get to see an ultrasound.

worst moment : ...let's just say i am very swollen in a very interesting place...

missing : my jawline.

nesting : sooooort of. there is a high possibility we are moving right after i deliver (like, a week after. the timeline is a tad bit stress inducing), so we don't have a nursery or anything of the sort. but we do have a carseat + two jumpers! so there's something! 

and that's my bumpdate (thank you, pinterest!). we have sort of, kind of decided on a name + THAT IS EXCITING. the middle name is still up in the air + jeff's suggestions are getting weirder by the minute so, you know. rolling with it.

WEEEEELP... // not billionaires.

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welp, we woke up on wednesday only to find out that we weren't billionaires. or even millionaires. or even, sadly, people with a proper bank account.

i was tooooootally reasonable about our odds of winning until i wasn't. 

i actually thought we had a shot! 

we could quit life + buy a house on a lake in idaho/montana/washington + a boat + 

someone to clean my house + help those in need + have 1,209,039 puppies and children + 

 lift my boobs so high i could rest my chin on them!!!!!

(my ladies are a sensitive subject right now)

(...they just. keep. growing.)

next time, powerball. next time. 

the revenant // my tuesday.

are you sick of seeing pictures of my dog yet? just bear with me until my face returns to normal size + i have a baby to take pictures of.

speaking of bears, jeff convinced me to see 'the revenant' today. it was THREE hours long (well, including previews + the pause in the middle when the screen stopped working + everyone chanted in unison FREE MOVIE! FREE MOVIE! FREE MOVIE! mob mentality is a delicious thing). the setting of the movie was beautiful. it reminded me of idaho/montana (confirmed! some parts were filmed in montanta!) buuuuuuut it was just. so. long.
my summary of the movie : a battered and beaten and perpetually frozen leonardo dicaprio seeks revenge in a bear suit + then plays the longest and most violent game of cat-mouse ever with tom hardy. woof.

i did cry three times, though. so that's something.
also my favorite movie is like, elizabethtown so maybe don't take my word for it?
(jeff would like everyone to know that he loved it + recommends)

other noteworthy, yet not paragraph-worthy items :

* on our walk today, milo + i crossed paths with three deer just walking down the middle of 300 south.
* i subbed a class today in which the girl pulled out a freaking SELFIE STICK!!!!! why?!!! what could you possibly want to remember about this day?
* i'm going to start writing an in-depth journal about my mental state during the last bit of this pregnancy. i'm convinced i'm actually going insane.
* my mom sent me a mug that says, 'why do you always look so sweaty and nervous?' -- actually me.
* we are never going to decide on a name for this baby. poor boy is going to be 'baby boy stapleton' for the first fifteen...years of his life.

aaaaaaand that's a tuesday.

the good-good.

+ a saturday full of cousins, bacon cheeseburgers, friends + fresh babies.
+ fake (very fake!) house hunting.
+ drives with my two scruffy dudes + a suspiciously perfect spotify shuffle.
+ breakfast with my grandma followed by a slice of coconut cream pie.
+ sneaking a giant, fizzy diet coke with cherry into sunday school.
+ the sound of milo's wagging tail hitting the wall.
+ sunday dinner courtesy of mckenna. that girl can cook.

this, that + a saturday.

we are adult-ing so hard now : life insurance! check! i can now die knowing jeff will be properly taken care of + the exact monetary amount he thinks i'm worth. 

(but can you really put a price on my wit, wisdom + wily ways? ...apparently)

also, it should be put down in history that i am now one of those people who puts their dog in day-care. also, it should be noted that i spent fifteen minutes agonizing over whether or not he would 'fit in' + actually worried about other dogs making fun of his grandpa face. what is wrong with me?! i don't know. let's just keep moving.

like how about the fact that...

my bacon cheeseburger count for the week is a whopping four. 

i finished making a murderer + let's not talk about it. it's serial podcast all over again.

eyelash extensions change lives. (i caved. i feel gross, okay?)

i started scream-jumping when the bachelor premiered. becca! miniature pony! lace!

(speaking of lace) she is the real-life version of cecily strong's character on snl,

'girl at a party you wish you never started a conversation with' (watch it! watch it!)

anyways, 

my new year's resolutions are basically shot to hell.

why do i resolve every year to be a less annoying version of gwyneth paltrow? i will never be a gwyneth. i like costco hot dogs too much.

merry new year, happy christmas, here i am.

HI AND HAPPY 2016!

since we last chatted, i turned 23, ended my stint of holiday retail employment, traveled to new york for the best. wedding. ever. (and tried shake shack! more on this all later!) + celebrated the holidays in california with my in-laws.

...and i've gotten bigger + crazier + have cried // apologized // had crazy outbursts like, fifteen times in between. pregnancy is slowly turning me into a person who cries in public + confronts people in line of grocery stores. just lock me up already.
...and i've discovered the jr. bacon cheeseburger at wendy's. i know. so gross. i actually feel embarrassed for myself when i think about my car in the drive-through at 10:23 a.m. that happened.

and that's a wrap.

currently //

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last night we ordered pizza for the first time since being married. three years, no pizza! what! i would just like it to be known that i am now a minor celebrity at the domino's down the street for my extra mushroom, extra pineapple, olive + pepperoni creation. savory + sweet. mmmmmm. it was just one of those things that had to happen. also i tried a double del cheeseburger for the first time ever? maybe this explains why i am home sick today, unable to move? gross.

also! did you know! i am over the half way point! i am 20 weeks + then some as of yesterday. we went to the doctor for a little checkup + ultrasound + everything is looking...alien-ish? skeletal? mildly creepy? but good! so far, every time we have an ultrasound, the baby has his hands up against the wall of my stomach. everyone gets a kick out of it besides me. is he trying to claw his way out?!!!!! what is happening?!!!!! but seriously, so far, so good. thank heavens.

and milo? he's mostly potty trained + completely spoiled. jeff asked me today, in all seriousness, 'what if i don't love our child like i love milo?' ha! i'm actually concerned that we will love the child more. like, how is that possible? we send pictures back + forth all day + i don't think we have had a real conversation about anything since we brought him home. oops.

anyways! it is my birthday tomorrow! it's my last day as a 22 year old + so far i've spent a lot of time in my robe. c'est la vie!