weekend to-do.

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today is my first official saturday off. no plans, alarms, or bras. shake it for me mama! i feel like a baby does after they just discover they have hands. well, actually i don't know how that feels but i imagine it feels something like i do right now. it's like look at these hands! where have these been all along? i just want to shove them in my mouth!

saturdays, man.

:: clean out my mess of a closet + figure out which clothes i can part with. there might be tears + lots of excuses, but i can do it. (i always dream up reasons why i can't get rid of clothes; but what if i go to an 'across the universe' themed party? but what if i go to a honky tonk in texas and need something to wear?! 

:: run. guess who is completely out of half marathon shape? (yup, that's right people. i've accepted the fact that the full marathon just ain't going to happen. i'm a wimp of sorts.)

:: shoot someone or something and post it over here. i've been slacking! so...who wants to have a photo shoot? any takers? ...but i'm serious, though.

:: finish season 2 of gossip girl and maybe season 3, too? i'm addicted, guys. 

:: say the closing prayer at church tomorrow in style. did y'all get a load of sister jean a. stevens? i took a peek or three and she was killin' it. her eyelashes + eye makeup were perfection (...did i just ruin everything we women worked so hard for? perhaps, perhaps.)

:: ...shower. or maybe don't?

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a story about our television.

disclaimer: this is just an exhausting declaration about my highs and lows with our giant television. i don't even end it gracefully. you've been warned. 

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right before jeff + i were married, we made our last purchases as a bachelor + bachelorette. i know, it seems silly but if you know me, i'll find any reason in the book for a celebration (celebratory meals are to blame for weight gain...let's go out to eat 'cause it's thursday! almost friday! let's go out to eat because i showered! let's go out to eat because it's almost my half birthday ...you get the point) and to go shopping.

i can't even remember what i bought; i think it was something fairly practical like a swimsuit or a tub of ice cream. but jeff, oh jeff, he bought a television.

when people walk into our apartment, generally the first comment they make it about our overwhelmingly large television. or about how i somehow ooze sexual appeal in a muumuu, how do you do that brooke? but nine out of ten times, it's about the tv. the thing is massive in comparison to our apartment and kind of just screams at you.

let it be noted: i never wanted the tv. as an attention starved bride-to-be i would dream up the uninterrupted conversations me and jeff would have over a candlelit dinner -- him staring at me, me staring at him. oh! the fun we'd have without a television! we could camp indoors and play twenty questions and braid each other's hair...

but a trip to costco later, and we had it. this giant, giant television. i remember walking into costco and rushing to the samples -- chocolate covered almonds! zipfizz! trail mix! oh my! but where was jeff? after wandering around for a few minutes, i saw him: he was looking at her like she was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.

he had found it: his last purchase as a bachelor. 

we had driven my small camry and awkwardly carried the television across the parking lot as he justified his purchase. mostly it involved you can watch the bachelor on it with all your girls! (though he didn't say girls, jeff stapleton would never say girls)

we tried shoving the television in sideways and backwards and upside down and maybe i'll just hold it out the window while you drive? but we realized the television was just too big for my junky car. which was ironic in like, ten billion ways.

after making a few calls and asking anybody and everybody with a truck if we could hitch a ride, it was secured. the giant television was ours and it was in our soon-to-be apartment and we were now one of those  people; the ones with giant appliances.

but you know what? now i'm okay with it. i kind of like that television, actually. jeff + i have created our own language entirely that is a mash of quotes and remember when?'s from how i met your mother, 30 rock, the office, arrested development, and freaks and geeks because of it.

and now i am at a loss as of how to end this? did i actually just write a whole page about a television? if you are still reading, bless you for scrolling.

...and that's it, i guess?

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weekending with my family friends.

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i've been really into gossip girl lately -- i know, i know. i was a naysayer for years and wouldn't even give it a chance. mostly because every time my morgan friend described it to me she'd say it was, "just a show about super rich teenagers in new york with all this drama. they're really well-dressed. and there's a gossip column that..." she'd trail off and i'd roll my eyes. but i finally bit in. AMAZE you guys, amaze. doesn't this picture just ooze blair, chuck, and serena? the answer is yes. 

per always, we all gathered at spaghetti factory for dinner. what is it with that place? the balloon man was there (who is in the mormon tabernacle choir, wouldn't you know? my sister spotted him at conference over. and over. and over again!) and the requests were a dslr camera, a baby, and warm and hunky man arms to keep me warm at night. thank you balloon man! you make dreams come true!

i suffer from sun-dependency but the gray of this weekend...i swoon. all i wanted to do was curl up with my family and stuff my face with food. oh wait, i did that?

what is happening with my hair? no matter. i love this boy. my family describes jeff as just happy to be there and he is. he is such a breeze to be around and actually somewhat keeps up with our fast-paced conversations spoken at gilmore girl speed. mushy time over.

conference! i am fed. i am fed. i am fed.

my girls. at communal. stuffing our faces. 

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this weekend left me so undoubtedly grateful. grateful to have a sister + mama who are my friends and who i can talk to about anything and everything and, most usually, nothing at all. grateful to have a jeffrey who works so, so hard and is so, so fun to be around. grateful for good food and good long walks. grateful for the inspired guidance from our leaders that made me feel like i am doing okay...yet gave me that kick in the rear i have been needing. 

on another note, what was with those pepto bismol pink dresses the motab wore?! and chuck + blair forever.

 that's all. 

children are our future...and thanks to me, they will never know what time it is.

as i mentioned before, i got a new job as a teacher's aide at a nearby elementary school and oh, how i love it. i love the kids and, quite plainly, they love me. at least i hope? the girls are class A suck-ups which my self-esteem loves and the boys are the cutest and craziest and, often times, the smelliest. also some of them are going through puberty extra early which is hilarious -- the other day a boy who has a big fat crush on anyone of the opposite sex whisper-yelled to his friend loud enough for everyone to hear, "ouch, dude. my facial hair is hurting me."

you too?

today was the first day back since spring break. the teacher briefly prepped me on the lesson today and handed me a giant clock and some worksheets. 

"just review with them how to read time. they are really struggling with it."

them too? 

i may appear infallible, i know, but  reading a clock is my kryptonite (speaking of! thanks to 90's radio on pandora, i listened to that song this morning -- thank you, three doors down). i've never been good at it. i'm convinced i was coincidentally on vacation or at home faking sick every time they would teach it at school. 

but i can do this! i'm better now? right? 

i stood up in front of the class and...why are they miraculously giving me their utmost attention now?! of all times?!...started to give a long-winded speech about the importance of telling time. i wound the clock around a few times and had them repeat after me five o'clock! six o'clock! six thirty! ...what was i even saying? why were they feeding into this jazz?

i taught them some backwards way about how to figure out elapsed time. you just...think of it like money? and count backwards? then divide...and you'll eventually get there... and kept spinning that blasted clock. 

...i ended the lesson with a shrug and advised them all to get digital clocks, like now. if children are our future, i just really screwed 'em up. and this is my public apology. 

(and plus, to cure cancer, you really don't need to know the difference from 6 o'clock and 12:30, right?)

jonesing over this weekend.

my peeps are here + general conference is this weekend + i have fully accepted the fact that my goal to kick diet coke will have to take a backseat while these sonic-crazed ladies are around. 

the perfect weekend and it just hardly started. 

ikea ain't for lovers.

something about swedish furniture and meatballs made partially of horse bits sends my jeff and me into a fury. suddenly we need everything and can't remember the measurements of our house and what exactly did we come here for? how do we get out of here? where are the bathrooms? our house isn't even yellow, jeff...why would we need a yellow desk, jeff? why is this not turning out like 500 days of summer, jeff? 

(i'm writing this as a public reminder to take our ikea trips s e p a r a t e l y. those cheap hot dogs + creamy frozen yogurt we always get when we leave always leave us with wonderful and outright delusional memories of our ikea experience. remember when we agreed on those kitchen towels? and found an entertainment center that is proportional to our apartment and doesn't overwhelm it entirely? let's go back again!)

oh, life.

(p.s. i'm not crazy -- the ikea complex is a thing. see look.) 

sundayness on a monday. || my testimony

we taught sunday school yesterday and this story stood out to me: 

"it's easy to say, 'the time isn't right.' but there is a danger in procrastination. years ago i worked for a man in california. he hired me; he was kind to me; he seemed to regard me highly. i may have been the only latter-day saint he ever knew well. i don't know all the reasons i found to wait for a better moment to talk to him about the gospel. i just remember my feeling of sorrow when i learned, after he had retired and lived far away, that he and his wife had been killed in a late-night drive to their home in carmel, ca. he loved his wife. he loved his children. he had loved his parents. he loved his grandchildren, and he will love their children and will want to be with them forever.

now, i don't know how the crowds will be handled in the world to come. but i suppose that i will meet him, that he will look into my eyes, and that i will see in them the question, 'hal, you knew. why didn't you tell me?'" (elder henry b. eyring; ensign, nov. 1998)

well shoot, henry b. i guess i'll share:

my testimony is humble and sometimes i feel like it's a bit inadequate. but it's mine.

i believe that my heavenly father is your heavenly father. and he is just that, a father. he rejoices with us over the small victories of life. he feels sad and broken-hearted when we defy him. he loves helping us out and will always meet us more than halfway. he genuinely wants to hear from us and is overjoyed when we turn to him or catch him up on our life...no matter how long it's been.

we are his children. and he loves us all the same -- fully, completely, this gospel has taught me how to love and how to accept others as well as myself. i know that no one is fit to judge another person as we all walk imperfectly. 

i believe that nothing is a happy-accident or a mistake. people are strategically placed in our life and trials are there to refine us. no matter how mucky or overwhelming they may seem. he has plans and blessings for us, big ones, that he so badly wants to give us but we must earn them. we must seek them out and put in our effort.

i believe that reading my scriptures in the morning and saying my prayers helps my day go a lot more smoothly and gives me perspective. 

perspective that helps me to remember that this will pass and that no matter how mucky the day may seem, i have a person looking over me who loves me more than i can comprehend. 

perspective that helps me remember that the crazy-aggressive man who just cut me off on the freeway who i so badly want to give the bird to is, in fact, a child of god and is loved so, so much so...maybe i should just let this slide? 

perspective that helps me to love myself a bit more and quiet all that negative body-talk or self-doubt.

i believe in being wildly curious but, more so, i believe in just letting some things be. let happy times be happy and hard times be hard and not complicate things by asking so many questions. 

i believe in the forgiveness and in grace. i believe that the atonement can refine us and uplift us and enable us. and i firmly believe that we are never too far off. i like to believe that those who have wandered and choose to come back will be greeted as if they never really left at all; a how was your day? what do you want for dinner? type of exchange. maybe an endearing nickname, too? 

and finally, this might seem a little counter-intuitive, but i believe in believing in something that is greater than yourself. for me and my family, it is the gospel of the church jesus christ of of latter day saints. and boy, do i believe it. for others, it might be a flying potato salad with supernatural powers. there is just something so comforting about the belief that this life isn't it.

oh, i also believe in pink lady apples every morning and country music in the summertime, but who really cares about that?